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'AITA for spilling the beans about a co-worker's drinking to her parents?'

'AITA for spilling the beans about a co-worker's drinking to her parents?'


"AITA for spilling the beans about a co-worker's drinking to her parents?"

I'm a 22-year-old man. I have a co-worker (Jessica) who is 20 years old. We have known each other for just under two years. Jessica and I aren't on great terms. We work together between two and five days a week, but it has been a pretty bad relationship.

The short of it is that early on when she started working at the restaurant, I asked her out a couple of times and she declined. I figured that was the end of it and was respectful/distant because that's what she seemed to want. One night, right after I turned 21, she approached me and asked if I could buy her alcohol (with her money). She was 19 and I figured it was fine.

After that point, any time she talked to me or made any attempt to communicate with me outside of work hours, it was for that exclusive purpose. After work? "Hey, can you get me a 40?" Before work? "Hey, can you buy me some wine after we finish up?"

After this continued for some time I started ignoring her, and she would get more persistent. Finally I told her that we weren't friends and she should find someone else to help her get drunk.

She retaliated by boasting about rejecting me for a date to other people in the restaurant. She also talked about how I was apparently obsessed with her. I kept my head down and did my work quietly, but on days she was at the restaurant and I wasn't, she pushed her shit talking into high gear.

One night, her parents were dining at the restaurant. When I was bussing their table when Jessica was with another customer, her mother pointed at my name tag and gave her father a pretty pointed look. I politely asked if something was wrong, and her mother said "We heard about you from Jessica" really harshly.

I told her I didn't know what that means, and she responded that she wants me to keep my distance from her daughter. I straight-up told her that the last five times Jessica and I talked, it was her approaching me to buy her alcohol and nothing else.

Her mother looked surprised and the next day when Jessica came in to work she absolutely screamed at me for telling her mother about her drinking. Apparently she's from a really strict family (her parents mark the alcohol bottles). She is furious about what I told her mother, and I lamely apologized but I'm not even sure.

I just don't know. I'm not great with this sort of thing. Should I have just kept my mouth shut and taken it?

Edit: I asked her out twice:

(1) I asked her if she wanted to have dinner after work. She gave me a half answer ("maybe another night!") and I didn't get the hint.

(2) I asked her again a month later. She said "no thanks, I think we should just be co-workers." I stopped there.

Do you think he did anything wrong? This is what top commenters had to say:

JemimaAslana said:

NTA. She sounds like the vindictive sort, and if she didn't want her parents to interact with you, she probably shouldn't have incited them to be angry with you. Or she shouldn't have let her secret drinking be known to someone she was secretly badmouthing. Probably for the best she didn't want to go out with you. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

PenAmbitious3784 said:

NTA. The dating based on your edit… normal. She was clearly using you because she knew you wanted to take her out and than talked shit about you behind your back? Also America should get on with the program and let yous people start drink from 18 it’s not like it’s stopping any of you 😅

Fair-Medicine-6874 said:

NTA. No you should not have kept your mouth shut when a woman insinuated that you'd done something to her daughter worthy of being told to stay away from her. You told the truth in your own defense. Co-worker made her own bed and now has to lie in it. (Badumtss)

BlackVixen said:

NTA - if by definition of asking her out a couple of times you actually mean only two and in a non aggressive manner. I don’t see it as assault or stalking to ask someone out. If someone at work asks me out on a date or to dinner a couple of times, I would feel awkward, but wouldn’t classify it as assault or stalking unless it was done in a way that made me uncomfortable (begging, getting too close, etc).

This girl knew he was interested in him and proceeded to continuously ask him for illegal favors. On top of that, he’s had to come to work everyday knowing rumors are being spread about him and being consider him to be weird or a stalker. He has every right to defend himself and his reputation, especially since her parents insinuated he was stalking his daughter.

And I don’t know about y’all but I wouldn’t ask someone who was stalking and harassing me for alcohol. I would avoid them or tell HR. Slight warning for future, don’t do workplace romance and if you decide to anyway, do not ask more than once. Once okay, twice is definitely pushing it. Third time you are in the creep category.

No_Meringue_9031 said:

NTA... When the sh*$ talking starts who is to say where it will end. She was doing something that was obviously affecting your job. Too bad she got caught up in her own baloney. Now it's her turn to wallow in it. SHE should have kept her mouth shut.

MultiFazed said:

ESH (but not the part where you spilled the beans to her parents; that was fine) She suck for obvious reasons, and you suck (and are being an idiot) for buying alcohol for someone underage. While unlikely, you're facing a large monetary fine and potential jail time if caught.

Braign said:

Her talking sh!t about you, but getting pissed when you talk shit right back about her? That's an NTA from me, but word of advice, stop buying underage girls/people alcohol, not with your money, or theirs. Like, maybe make it a new personal rule? It will never get you anything but trouble.

Verdict: NTA. Do you agree?

Sources: Reddit
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