BF won't share food with GF; catches her eating, so he throws it out. AITA? UPDATED
Food is a love language and this guy is not fluent.
One man refused to let his girlfriend even try his food. They each made their own meals but sometimes she wanted to try his or would eat his leftovers. He caught her going for his Tupperware in the fridge and finally lost it.
"AITA for throwing away food I know my gf wanted?"
I 24(m) live with my 23(f) gf and recently threw away the leftovers of a meal I cooked because she said she wanted to try some. For a bit of background when we moved in together we agreed that we would each only cook for ourselves and use our own dishes (my idea).
The issue is sometimes she will now ask if she can have a bite of the food I am cooking 'just to try it' or wants to eat some of the leftovers I cook and then she offers to cook for both of us the next night. She now claims that its a ridiculous rule to have and that I should grow out of the rule by now.
On to the incident, I had made a stir fry and was finishing putting the leftovers in a container when she blatantly told me to just leave it out so she can have some, I of course said no and that I 'don't want her to eat what I cook' and put it in the container and into the fridge and started to leave the kitchen.
I went to the living room to grab my phone before going back to the kitchen to grab a drink when I saw my gf pulling my food out of the fridge and taking the lid off.
I went over to the counter and grabbed the container and dumped the food in the trash to prevent her from eating it. She stayed silent the whole time until finally calling me an a**@ole and storming off.
I don't really think I am the a**@ole as we agreed to this arrangement before moving in(I knew it might be a problem), but some friends said its time to move on from my weird obsession and just share food already. A few important things might be:
We don't share any food(even spices) and do not share any food costs. I have never once wanted to eat the food she makes, or used her cooking ingredients. I always let her go first when cooking in the kitchen. I don't cook for friends or family either.
Here were the top comments from readers:
YTA - You realize you’re in the fast lane to become single, right?
·He should remain single. This behavior is maladaptive and toxic. Imagine if she was critically ill and unable to cook for herself- he'd starve her. This man needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.
Please seek therapy for your food insecurity issues. This is such a bizarre incident that I wonder if you're making it up. Either way, this feels above Reddit's pay grade. Wasting food just to spite your gf? WTF?
YTA - why are you even together? And INFO: why do you not want to share food/spices/etc? This goes beyond an arrangement.
YTA. And this is not something that can go on long term if you are planning a future together or plan to have children. Are you never going to cook for the kids and leave that up to her?
What if she were incapable of cooking for herself due to surgery or illness for a time? Do you just plan for her not to eat or waste money on take-out because you refuse to seek help for this issue?
The OP later updated:
We broke up. there was just no trust about the food issue and she wouldn't stop trying to eat my food. I looked into and got locking containers that can go in the fridge but she said it was a violation of trust and broke up with me. I don't really get how I was the one being untrustworthy but oh well...
I will probably go back to the dating scene and try to find someone else who respects my boundaries, but I think that might be hard to find someone as good. We both lived in our bedrooms, I don't think I will be able to find someone as good as that honestly.
That is why the whole food thing confuses me tbh, she was perfectly ok with having separate bedrooms (I think she preferred it too tbh), but was not okay with having separate food. Idk, humans are unique, no point in trying to understand others i guess.
In regards to commenters saying I need therapy, I am pretty against that, my quirks are part of who I am. I would rather find someone who is ok with them than change myself. I know that will be very hard (maybe impossible) but I will keep on trying.