Guy flustered when girl talks to him at gym; says 'I don't know how to do this.' UPDATED

'TIFU by talking to a cute girl at the gym.'

So this happened this morning, I figured at least one person may get a kick out of this. First off, I have social anxiety. It's especially bad when talking to girls, 1000x worse when I find them attractive. I recently got into extremely good shape. Not only have I noticed I get treated extremely differently I've noticed girls actually take notice to me sometimes.

While finishing my run on the treadmill I started to warm down and finish my run with a small walk. Inevitably at one point I looked over and made eye contact with a cute girl two machine down, being naturally nervous I smiled and looked away straight after.

A moment passed and she cleaned her machine off and stood on the treadmill next to me gesturing at my ear buds. I took them off and she proceeded to ask my what kind of headphones they were. Everything went quickly down hill from here.

After about 30 seconds of small talk I could feel my anxiety setting into every part of my body. It took about another 30 seconds before I could no longer walk and talk at the same time. My body decided the walking part was the issue here, not me awkwardly trying to form coherent sentences that didn't make me sound like a clueless idiot who has never had a social interaction before.

Not even a moment later I effortlessly glided off the treadmill landing on the ground behind me now looking at this girl glancing down at me like I had 7 heads. 'I'm sorry if I'm bothering you I just...'

Before she finished her sentence I said 'I don't know how to do this' and quickly walked off without looking back. Treadmill still going. Favorite water bottle left behind. I spent a good 20 minutes in my car trying to process what had happened. The only conclusion I settled on was that I need to swap gym ASAP.

Comments:

TexMeta writes:

I feel so bad for that girl.

[deleted] OP responded:

Same. I'm trying to muster the strength to return to the gym there and hopefully run into her to apologize. The other part of me is willing to drive 10 miles out of my way to go to a different gym.

TexMeta writes:

I don’t blame you. Socializing is horrible sometimes.

forgotMyPrevious writes:

Re-turn! Re-turn! Re-turn! Re-turn!

insidious_symphony writes:

Tbh with you, if a guy made eye contact with me and I got brave enough to go talk to him and he did what you did, I'd probably pick up his water bottle and keep a look out for him. You sound like you're adorable.

I'm glad you're planning on going back. I hope you see her again. And I hope you try to remember to take slow breaths while you talk to her. Please update if you see her again. I am very much looking forward to seeing how it turns out. I wish you all the best and all the luck. Take care!

Note: OP said in the comments the brand of water bottle he lost is called 'Coldest.'

Updates from OP after reading comments:

Wow, so I didn't expect people to be so kind and encouraging in the comments. I sorta posted it for the laughs and have gotten an overwhelming amount of kind words and great advice. Thank you for that. I have opted to go to the gym Saturday during my usual time.

I've seen her before on weekends so maybe my luck will play out. Sadly when I called my water bottle wasn't at the treadmill I left it on or returned to the desk. Thank you again everyone.

For everyone asking I will without a doubt update this post if I see her tomorrow or Saturday (Sunday is my day off) if I don't see her this weekend I will still update it when I do see her. Of the past 3 days I was there I've seen her all 3 so odds are I'll run into her this weekend.

The handful of people that personally messaged me sharing your stories and kind words, it means more than you can imagine. Thanks again.

Welllllllll today was a miss. Didn't run into her and my water bottle is still no where to be found. To everyone saying she is holding on to it, I sure frigging hope so. To those seemingly annoyed I was 'hitting on a girl at the gym' she approached me with a casual conversation, all I did was smile at her. I'm confused as to what post your read, because it clearly wasn't mine?

To all of you that continue to provide me laughs and genuine kindness, thank you. I will update again tomorrow and likely create a new post when I do eventually (hopefully) run into her. To those here because they want to see what happened to my water bottle, I appreciate your support as well LOL.

Updates from OP a few days later:

THE WATER BOTTLE HAS BEEN CONFIRMED SAFE. I went to the gym today and ran into her again. Ironically enough didn't even know she was there till I went to the back and pulled out my yoga mat to start stretching. She was already back there getting ready to leave (at least it looked like)

By some miracle I was able to apply some of the breathing techniques so many kind people shared with me and was able to not only have a smooth conversation, I not once felt my anxiety set in till the conversation had actually ended. So thank you again for all of you kind reddit peeps.

She has my water bottle, she didn't have it with her but she says it's at her apartment (she forgot to put it back in her car after washing it she said). I out right told her sorry about the other day letting her know the mix of my nervousness and post workout exhaustion had my mind completely fried.

She apologized again for interrupting my workout and said she should have waited till I left the gym to try and say anything to me on our way out.

We chatted for a good 10 minutes, mainly small talk about our workout routines, stuff we do outside the gym and a slight bit about our work lives. The conversation went smooth as butter for what I normally dish out. She gave me her phone number so I could reach out to set up a day to meet her at the gym next week to get my water bottle back.

I texted her a solid hour(ish) ago and we've just been chatting ever since. We're going to the local farmers market tomorrow to hang out and get some food. SHE IS GOING TO BRING MY WATER BOTTLE WITH HER!!

Needless to say, reddit came through. Thank you people. I truly am grateful for your kind words that helped me face anxieties I've dealt with for a few years now. Strangers on the internet aren't all bad and you kind people have been proof of that.

To clear a few things up off the rip; she offered me her phone number. I didn't go out of my way to 'pick up' this girl at the gym. I didn't go back there anticipating to make a friend or get a date. My goal was to apologize and retrieve my water bottle as respectfully as possible.

I've made a friend. That's all I know right now. That's enough for me. If you've messaged me asking for my breathing techniques; just breath. In through your nose deep, quick exhale through your mouth fast. So many people mentioned me how we forget to breath when anxiety takes over. Paying attention to my breathing the same way I do when running did me wonders.

If you've messaged me and ask for my gym routine or how to get started my honest answer is to just start. Anywhere. Doesn't matter if it's 10 push ups and a walk around your neighborhood. Just start. There is no glory in what you will be doing. Set small goals and achieve them. Take your small victories and build on them.

My actual gym routine is a collaboration of workouts I've stolen from people who were more successful than I at the time. Find influencers that are actively trying to teach you, not show off their personal achievements (yes they exist) Hazzytrainer is a great place to start. He teaches alot about techniques and ways to avoid injury.

All of the actual hard work is done outside the gym. If you're looking to lose weight you MUST be in a calorie deficit. If you're looking to gain weight you must be in a calorie surplus. There are fairly easy and accurate ways to calculate these things. Best of luck.

Here's what people had to say after the update:

c0mad0r writes:

Congrats and great recovery! Here's to a friendship made from water :) and perhaps more. Good luck!

meted writes:

There is a theory that in order to truly trust someone, you have to go through hard times and come out of it. I say you accomplished that before even thinking you were friends.

Chewiesbro writes:

Nice save mate! This girl sounds awesome, just read your first post too. TBH you handled it really well, good luck!

NiebieskiHerbatnik writes:

Aaargh I'm so happy for you, so much that I feel reading this update made my day way better! :D Congrats on confronting your anxiety and retrieving the water bottle, and most of all good luck on your new friendship!

[deleted] OP responded:

Thank you so much! I'm hyped, especially since all my current friends think going to the farmers market is 'lame'.