Man ditches date at gas station on her birthday after she demanded he pay for hotel. 'AITA?'
"AITA For Ghosting Mid Date?"
Here's the story:
So I[27M] matched with this woman[40s F] on tinder and things were going alright. Threw a few jokes and she just replied with, "tomorrow is my birthday" and eluded to wanting to hang out. I thought why not, I don't have anything going on. She was going to celebrate with her family on Friday and wanted to meet up for a beer on Saturday.
Fast forward to Saturday she messages me the location of the bar and wants me to come because she's lonely on her birthday. Well as soon as I show up I buy a beer and she wants to leave. I should have seen this as a red flag already because I didn't even really get to know her through one beer.
As soon as we get into my car she tells me that we can't go to her place as her son is home with a date and that would be weird. She wants me to pay for a hotel-not even knowing anything but her name and that she has a grown son (yes I know she was older but she had the hole milf thing going on.)
At this point I'm a little taken aback by the forwardness and having to suddenly foot the bill for a hotel room that I don't want to pay for. She changes her mind shortly after I tell her I don't even know her yet and wants to drive 30 minutes away to a bar in a more happening part of town. I'm a little irritated at this point and she starts to say "it's my birthday!".
As we're driving she starts to tell me how she wants more kids and criticizing me for not having any. Now all that's running through my head is to get her out of my car as fast as I can. So I pull up to a gas station and give her 20 bucks and say that I need a 6 pack for later in the night and I'm gonna pump some gas for the trip to the bar and back.
I watch her go in and don't even swipe my card but pretend to start pumping gas. As soon as the coast was clear I put the pump back, got in my car, drove away and unmatched her on tinder so she couldn't contact me. So am I the a$$#@le here? The gas station I left her at was only a few blocks from the bar we left and there are plenty of rideshares in the area as well.
Here's what top commenters had to say:
moosigirl said:
YTA for the way you ghosted. She wasn't dangerous just a bit pushy. Say you're not interested and take her back to the bar.
LeafPankowski said:
NTA - you were worried about her reaction. She seemed scetchy. You listened to your gut. This is what you are supposed to do for your own safety. The genders are irrelevant.
pishtalpete said:
YTA. Dude you could try using your grown up words and have talked to her
upstart-crow said:
NTA. flip the gender. She was predatory.
FoxesInSweaters said:
ESH. I don't blame you at all for getting out but you should have told her.
Wolf666459 said:
YTA - I'm sorry but you are so pathetic for doing that. All you had to do was be a big boy, end the date, & drop her off. Instead you stranded her at a gas station.
ToastedMaple said:
Nta. She sounds unhinged. People pretending she wasn't a danger to you are sexists. Women can stab people too and rob them. You got out, be thankful she didn't kill you. If the genders were reversed, you'd see no 'yta' comments.
ToastedMaple said:
Nta. She sounds unhinged. People pretending she wasn't a danger to you are sexists. Women can stab people too and rob them. You got out, be thankful she didn't kill you. If the genders were reversed, you'd see no 'yta' comments.
[deleted] said:
NTA-always go with your gut, sounds to me like she had other motives then just a birthday date. If she's that forward her reaction could be violent or manipulative at the least.