In a post on Reddit user cctvjh argued their case about issues with the term 'red flags'...
I feel like these days basically everything is a red flag. I mean it's good that people, especially young woman, are starting to not settle for the bare minimum, but at the same time it seems like now everything is considered a red flag and should be a reason not to date.
IMO a red flag is either a personality trait that's worrying/clashes too much with my own, or a behaviour that's clearly indicative of deeper (dangerous/worrying/possibly ab*sive) issues. The rest is just icks or simply people not being perfect as they often are.
It's just annoying nowadays that no matter what you do, or your S/O does, someone will point out something as a red flag and warn you against being with them even tho you either 1. know the person and know they are perfectly fine or 2. already know your differences and know you can work through them as most couples do.
Idk. I feel like relationships take work. You can't classify every single thing as a red flag and then complain you can't find a good relationship. Maybe that's just me 'settling' for less, but yeah
Here's what people had to say:
1. DiegoIntrepid agrees:
Honestly, like a lot of words, 'red flag' has been watered down until it is practically useless.
Red Flag *should* mean something to indicate that this is a DANGEROUS relationship. It shouldn't just mean 'they don't like dogs and I do, so that is a red flag'. No, that is a 'dealbreaker'.
2. LitteMissJung added:
You nailed it. 'Red flag' has become conflated with 'deal breaker' 100%
3. Misterfrooby threw out:
Same with 'gaslighting.' Every disagreement in a relationship is gaslighting now.
No it's not, no one ever says that
4. NoTeslaForMe had this take:
I would say that it's been misused rather than watered down. The 'red' part means it's about something serious, but the 'flag' part means that it's just a warning, not necessarily 'clearly indicative' of that serious something.
A classical example of a red flag is someone treating waitstaff poorly. Maybe it's an indication of that person's true nature and how they'll eventually treat you, or maybe the person had a bad day and lost their temper with a rude waiter where 99.9% of the time, they wouldn't.
5. opeGeraldVII joked:
Complaining about red flags? Idk about that. Bit of a red flag right there...
cctvjh OP responded:
How could I not realize that this was my red flag all along...
6. Nooberius agreed:
It's an overused phrase to the point of absurdity.
7. lesbereallads shared this thought:
I have now been told numerous times that it’s a big red flag to get butterflies for someone, because it indicates an anxiety response. What.
8. Claw_- had this take:
People are surprised that long term relationships aren't that common. Well, they aren't when many people think minor things are red flags or that they can 'find someone who is perfect for them'. People are never perfect.
9. malakia717 thinks:
a 'red flag' is just an attempt, a rhetorical trick, to try and disguise your personal, subjective opinion, as some kind of universally accepted truth.
10. 7h4tguy says:
It's also virtue signaling which this generation is addicted to. It allows them to have a savior complex and trumpet what a praiseworthy benefactor they are. Really, just more attention whoring and drama creation.
11. littlewolf95 wrote:
It’s like any other term that catches onto popularity, it loses its meaning with the misuse.
12. Liluziisthegoat thinks:
I agree. People just throw around the term “red flag”. Most people’s “red flags” are just minor inconveniences or flaws
What are your thoughts?