Mornings are the hardest time to share a bed with a partner, because waking habits vary widely.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for letting her husband sleep through the alarms. She wrote:
Me and my partner have been living together for 2 years, and for some reason, he can't get up in the mornings. He will set multiple alarms (about 7 or 8) and will turn them all off and sleep right through. He expects me to nudge him awake and I hate doing this because then he will say "I'm up" while lying in bed slowly falling back asleep until I nag him to physically get up.
This happens for almost 10 minutes and by then I'm fully awake and exhausted, all the while he's grumpy and giving me s#$t for nagging him awake. I warned him I wasn't going to wake him up anymore. This morning I heard the alarms, let them ring through and just covered my head with a pillow. He slept in by half an hour and was furious that I let him sleep in for work despite hearing the alarms. WITA?
C_Greuel04 wrote:
NTA. He's responsible for himself and his job. You're not his parent getting him ready for school in the morning. He makes a conscious choice to skip his alarms. Making sure he was ready in the past was a kind gesture that he wasn't entitled to.
Katiew84 wrote:
NTA. This is such a turn-off. I’d have a really hard time feeling attracted to a “man” this irresponsible. Nobody wants to feel like they’re their partner’s mom. I have a neurological sleep disorder, which causes extreme fatigue 24/7. I also have an autoimmune disease that causes overwhelming fatigue.
Depression on top of that. But you know what? I get my a** up and go to work, no matter how hard it is to get out of bed. It’s called being an adult.
SLJ7 wrote:
Okay so, I do understand what it's like to have a hard time waking up. That said, if I had this much trouble, I'd put an alarm on the other side of the room so I had to get up and shut it off. I'm sort of surprised nobody has suggested this. It seems like an easy fix that would force him to get up and fix it. Especially if he has one alarm by his head and another across the room. sometimes that's just what it takes. NTA.
Mysterious_Piggle wrote:
My ex-husband was exactly the same. I put it with it for years. I’d be the enemy for waking him up. I’d be the enemy for not waking him up. I draw your attention to the “ex” part.
ETA: Additional context if needed. He goes to sleep by 10 pm, and he has been late for work multiple times before, as well as missing multiple appointments, outings, and plans. Our Alexa plays full volume alarms, as well as his phone - 2 DEVICES, despite my protest.
He will constantly snooze Alexa through all 7 ALARMS (in 15-minute intervals) and continue sleeping through his phone alarms because they don't seem to do anything.
He also previously had a smartwatch (making 3 devices) but it was too easy for him to shove his arm under the pillow or press the off button. I bought some earplugs and an eye mask, but I'm still stressing because the alarm brings me anxiety if I hear it because I KNOW he will be late.
Clearly, she's NTA here, he just needs to figure out something that works in the morning.