Daughter livid mom denied her braces, 'ruined her mouth,' demands $3,750. AITA?
'AITA For not getting my daughter braces?'
My daughter (21F) and I (48F) just got into a huge argument on the topic of why I didn't get her braces as a child.
I personally felt that her teeth were fine, and we were even told by several dentists that she does not need braces for any sort of purpose rather than cosmetically straightening them, so I thought it would be quite useless to put her through years of orthodontic treatment.
She would constantly ask me to get her braces once she became a teenager, claiming her teeth were overly crooked and she felt as if every one of her friends were getting them.
I told her that her teeth were fine, and that her friends actually NEED braces for corrective procedures. She then began approaching her father (father and I aren't together) to help her get braces, but he always insisted that he didn't have the money.
Eventually I agreed to get my daughter Smile Direct Club aligners when she was 17, and they worked for the most part. I didn't have to hear her whine about braces anymore.
Until she decided to go to an orthodontist to get real braces, and was told that she would need serious treatment because she had now developed a crossbite from the Smile Direct Club aligners.
She became furious with me, telling me that I practically neglected her feelings and insecurities about her teeth, and that I encouraged her to 'ruin her mouth' by getting her the Smile Direct Club aligners.
Her treatment is estimated at $7,500 and she is demanding I pay for at least half, since I was the one who 'ruined her mouth in the first place'. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
INFO, really I'd need to know just how crooked her teeth were as a kid. Even if they were technically fine, as in she could chew and bite without issues, having wonky teeth can make a HUGE impact on one's self-esteem.
Hijacking the top comment to tell my story: I am the same as the daugther in this post is.
For my parents getting me braces and going to appointments every 2 - 4 weeks was just too much hassle and costs. My teeth are crooked af but there is no medical reason to get braces. It just looks ugly as hell. I asked them for braces over and over but they said no and I was on their insurance ofc so when I was 15, 16, 17 I could still not start the treatment without them agreeing.
As soon as I turned 18 I went to a specialist to ask about braces. They listed estimated costs and it was close to 10k. Money I did not have since I had to put myself through university working 2 jobs next to my classes to just pay my bills. Insurance will not cover any braces treatment that aren't medically neccessary for adults.
At some point I made peace with the way my teeth look but I never smile with my lips open and I adopted the habit of not showing too much of my teeth when I speak. I still have crooked teeth and I still resent my parents for it.
YTA big time and you better fully pay for your daughters braces.
YTA. It may be 'just cosmetic' but it's something potential employers (among others) will judge her on. Straight white teeth are a class marker.
I'm 21 like OP's daughter. My dentist would tell me that I need braces. I would tell my mother this and she would say 'You don't need them.' We were a low income family with 6 children so I never asked for them again. I knew how expensive they are. My new dentist as an adult still tells me I need braces
I've always hated my smile, I have two 'vampire' like teeth that sit on top of other teeth. It just plain looks bad
Now, last year, my parents got my youngest sister braces. Her teeth are half as bad as mine!! I will NEVER be able to afford braces and I will look janked up forever
I understand that my parents now have less children in the house so they have less expenses but I still just find the whole situation really messed up. Op YTA.
YTA. Getting braces for 'cosmetic' reasons is why they exist. You could have given her a much better life now if you had forked over the money when she was a teenager and gotten her teeth straightened.
It's like you didn't even listen to what she had to say when she was a teen, and your responsibility as a parent is to care for the health of your child. Do you not understand what a stigma it is to have even slightly crooked, slightly overcrowded teeth? And later, if you were willing to pay for Smile Direct, why didn't you just pay for a real ortho?