"AITA for always getting a separate bill at a restaurant?"
I’ve been part of the same group since secondary school and now in our early 30s we still meet up regularly. I’m the only one who doesn’t drink and I also have some food restrictions. This means that my meal is always the cheapest option and I very rarely share a plate with the others even if everyone else is eating sharing style.
So for years, I’ve always had a separate bill, and then the group evenly splits the remainder. It was suggested by a friend years ago and nobody has ever made an issue. One friend recently brought her new BF “Aaron” to the meal to introduce him to the group. We have a tendency to over order so I didn’t think it was weird that he has a few drinks and ordered more than one dish.
When the bill came and my part was separated out Aaron started getting annoyed and told me to stop being a cheapskate and pay my share like everyone else. I tried to explain but he just dug his heels in and got yelly and called me tight-fisted and selfish. I got flustered and paid my bill and left. Am I TA for still taking a separate bill even a decade later? Should I not be doing that?
People had lots of thoughts about the situation.
NTA. I actually think this is normal. My group of friends share the bill equally only if all of us shared the ordered food. However, if one or all of us ordered for ourselves, then, each will pay only what they ordered. If there is shared food then another order only for a person (example, drinks) then we split the bill equally only on the shared food and pay for our own additional orders.
throwrasplits OP responded:
So the sharing came about because in the rest of the group someone would be like “oh I want to try dish X and dish Y but I can’t decide”
Then someone (or multiple someones) else would say “hey I can’t choose between them either, let share them both!”
So routinely, whether it’s a sharing style restaurant or not, we have multiple people sharing multiple dishes at once
BillyFromPhlly wrote:
NTA 20 years ago my wife and I had dinner with a coworker and her husband. We had cokes while they had so much alcohol that the alcohol portion was almost double the meal portion. They then put up 1/2 the bill and looked at us almost expecting an argument.
We simply paid and never went to dinner with them again. In fact, the coworker asked my wife a few months later when we would have another dinner together to which my wife responded with “you mean so you guys could drink for half price?” That friendship ended soon after.
RewardHungry2419 wrote:
NTA. The Aaron’s of the world are the reason I dislike splitting the check evenly.
AdOne8433 wrote:
NTA. He was an entitled a**hat who was angry because you weren't willing to pay for his drinks. Anyone criticizing you for separate checks in general is delusional. Asking a non-drinker to split the bill with a table full of drinkers is extortion. Average bar drink prices run $5 to $15, and specialties go much higher.
tytyoreo wrote:
NTA you didn't drink or have what they had so no. Aaron needs to mind his business and stop expecting others to pay his food and drink bill. He probably order more than everyone and drank more than everyone.
winesis wrote:
NTA splitting bills evenly only works when people order similar things. If he continues to go out with your group, I expect everyone will want to pay for what they ordered instead of subsidizing his bill.