Woman tells friend she doesn't want to travel together again; gets called ableist.

Vacationing with any friend can be stressful. But when you add the nuances of traveling styles, personality differences, and the complexities of disability, a friend vacation can be straight-up tense. While honesty is the best policy in these situations, the truth can hurt and lead to some deeply awkward conversations.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for refusing to vacation with her disabled friend in the future. She wrote:

"AITA for refusing to vacation with my disabled friend anymore?"

I (F30s) have a friend "Ashley" (F30s). Ashley and I have been friends since we were 13. We drifted apart after high school but stayed in touch. Ashley is disabled. She has fibromyalgia. We planned to go on a short vacation together to the city which was Ashley's idea, we planned this over a year in advance to stay for 3 nights. The actual vacation was okay but I found being around Ashley stressful.

She was extremely overpacked (she brought 7 outfits, different types of hair dryers, and a bunch of other stuff that just wasn't needed) and was always complaining about how heavy her bags are. She insisted on going for long walks through the city but then would get tired and say we need to get a taxi home as she can't walk back.

The last straw for me was that Ashley had a full-on meltdown at the station. I walked her to the station (I wasn't getting the train back, we live in completely different areas). We got to the desk and she asked the staff if there was a wheelchair available she could use as she was struggling to walk any further to get to her platform.

They said they were all being used and asked if she booked assistance and she hadn't, and they told her a chair should be available in around an hour. Ashley lost her cool and yelled at them and said that she's going to miss her train, and she sat on the floor. I tried to calm her down but there was just no use. She was very insulting and called them names, it was so embarrassing.

I stayed with Ashley and eventually the manager arrived with the chair. He helped Ashley and she went home. Two days after we got home, Ashley asked me if I'd be down for a similar vacation next year. I told her no thanks. I tried to explain to her that I think after our experience it's better if we don't vacation together.

Ashley is now angry with me and said I'm being ableist but I struggle to put up with how disorganized she is in regards to her own needs.

People kept it real with OP.

Fairmount1955 wrote:

NTA.

Like, her behavior has nothing to do with a disability so that shouldn't even be mentioned, except where she tried to make it an excuse (gross). If you don't travel well together then you don't.

C_Majuscula wrote:

NTA. She's not a good traveler. Overpacking, complaining about her overpacking, not knowing her limits, berating staff.

DisneyBuckeye wrote:

NTA. You aren't being an ableist. You're choosing not to vacation with someone who was not properly prepared for the trip and who caused a scene after not making the necessary reservations. It has nothing to do with her illness. I wouldn't want to go again either.

Dragon_Fire_Skye wrote:

NTA. You aren't refusing to vacation together because of your friend's disability. You simply aren't vacation-compatible. There are very few people I will vacay with because we simply don't want to go to the same places and do the same things. I would be at a complete loss with someone who brought two hair dryers with her. You two can be good friends but not vacation friends.

nackle09 wrote:

NTA, while fibromyalgia is no joke, it appears she did quite a few things to make her own situation worse. Even with those things aside, just her flat out yelling at the employees at the station would have been it for me.

mattromo wrote:

NTA. I don't think you not wanting to travel with her is about her disability but more about you differing travel styles. She seems like someone who does not plan/think ahead very well. If you had a friend with the same health issue who packed properly, knew their physical limits, asked for assistance ahead of time and wasn't rude to people, you would probably be great travel partners.

OP is definitely NTA here, her friend simply sounds like a bad travel buddy.