One of the hardest things for a divorced couple with kids to agree on is how they're going to co-parent after the split.
Many times, the differences that lead to the divorce in the first place flare up in moments of co-parenting stress, and it makes creating a peaceful unified front very difficult. Luckily, the fine people of the internet are always here to share their thoughts and hot takes.
AITA for saying my girls need to start adapting to sharing a room?
My wife and I are in the process of getting a divorce. We have 2 daughters that are 14 & 11. Initially, we were trying the whole, one of us stays there one week then the other while renting an apartment. This was to keep the children in one home and have minimal disruption. However, it just wasn’t working out, for any of us but especially the girls.
We decided I would get my own place and my wife would keep the house, with the girls alternating between us every other week. At the house, my girls each have their own room. I tried to find a place that had 3 bedrooms but they were out of my price range. At this time, I can’t afford to buy a house, so I’m renting.
I found a decently sized apartment and decided my girls could take the master bedroom as it’s bigger and would fit 2 beds. I got a divider and tried to make it so they’d each have some privacy. They hate it and I understand. It’s not what they’re used to and they are very different. There is a lot of bickering. We’ve had this arrangement for a couple of months now. I’ve tried my best to keep the peace.
I told them hopefully by next year they’ll have a bigger place. My wife has been shaming me for forcing them to share a room. She says I should sleep in the living room. One, it’s not big enough for a pull-out or air mattress. Two, I really do not think this is a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I shared a room growing up and was it fun? No. But it was the situation.
I told my girls that I sympathize and I understand it’s hard but they do have to adapt. My wife says I should put up with the complaining. AITA for expecting them to start adapting vs complaining every single day?
I’ve accommodated them as best I can (the divider, letting them decorate their respective side as they want, letting one go in my room if they need a breather from the other, etc) but at this point, it’s time to start learning to adapt. AITA?
The comments soon came rolling in.
NTA. One great thing about divorce: she's entitled to have an opinion, but it's just that, her opinion. YOU can do whatever the heck you like within reason. And having them share a room due to financial constraints is entirely reasonable.
So much NTA. I'm the second oldest of 4 girls. Throughout our whole childhoods we shared rooms. There were always 2 of us sharing a space. Did we always get along? No, we fought like crazy sometimes. Even got into some fist fights but we never complained about sharing a room. We knew that that's what our mom/step dad(at the time, they're divorced now. still consider him my dad tho) could afford.
Luckily it was never an apartment. We lived in the country so we had a huge yard to play in so we were able to get space when we needed either in another part of the house or outside. OP's solutions to them sharing a room sounds awesome! Giving them the bigger room and even a divider for it was the best solution. The daughters sound a little spoiled/entitled.
I know they're young and divorce is tough to go through. I know cause I was 14 when my mom and step dad divorced. He had been in my life since I was 2 so it was heartbreaking when it happened. Even after the divorce when we visited my step dad, we shared a room. We were just happy to be spending time with him.
In life, things/people change and you can't always get what you want. I hope they are able to figure out a solution and just enjoy their time together as a family.
'She says I should sleep in the living room' 'My wife says I should put up with the complaining.' Ex can mind her own business. You have made a reasonable accommodation. NTA.
OP is definitely NTA, his daughters simply need to learn to adjust and be a bit less entitled.