Divorced couple agrees not to date for 4 years; wife is pissed ex gets FWB. UPDATED 3X
'AITAH for being pissed at my ex husband?'
My husband and I divorced when my son was 7, I regretfully cheated, and I ask you all to please not judge me on this part, my husband immediately asked for a divorce when I told him, I tried to convince him otherwise and I was devastated
He wouldn't take me back, so we divorced, we where both financially independent, but I only took 25 percent of our savings, and we both decided to stay on good terms for our son. My husband never told him I cheated which I'm grateful for, we both agreed, not to see other people until our son was 11.
Our son is now 9, my friend called and she said she saw my ex husband with a woman in a bar, and that they were clearly flirting, so when my husband came to pick up our son I told him how upset I was, he said he's not seeing anyone, he's just hooking up and having casual [hookups].
He said he has a fwb. He said that he's human, and needs [to hookup]. I told him that a fwb counts as seeing someone, He disagreed, and I lost it and yelled at him. He said that didn't even make sense that we don't see other people. My reason was because I didn't want anyone replacing us.
I didn't want him to get remarried right away and for my son to be more attached to her, and I didn't want my son to be more attached to another man, so that's why I stayed away from being with anyone after the divorce and decided to wait, but my husband said he understood that, but [hooking up] with other people doesn't count.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Carolinamama2015 writes:
YTA, okay, a few things to start off. You called him your husband a few times in this post he's not your husband anymore. You two aren't getting back together.
Secondly, you ask people not to judge you for cheating on your ex-husband which is ridiculous you are the reason your marriage ended and now you are mad he's moving on 2 years later and having casual [hookups]?!
Also, why is it okay for you to [hook up] with another man with a wedding band on your finger and a child at home? But your ex does it on his own time, divorced from you, and not neglecting his child, and suddenly you want him trashed on the internet?
Grow up!! You still haven't taken responsibility for your actions and realize you don't control him anymore.
sonartxlw writes:
Not to mention, who thinks it is remotely reasonable to be able to control the romantic life of an ex?!? Regardless of the fact that she betrayed him and he owes her nothing. My man dodged a fatal bullet here.
batkevn writes:
YTA. Is he bringing the FWB around your son? If not, there is no harm. It doesn't matter if you consider a FWB as 'seeing someone' if your main concern is your son and that person has no interaction with your son. Don't take it out on your ex because you've deprived yourself from [hooking up] for 2 years.
angryexwife OP responded:
No but what if he falls in love with her, then he might bring her back to his place, and my son might see her, and also would ruin the chance of us ever getting back together and having a stable family.
Dependent_Foot_4513 writes:
you cheated on him lol obvi he will never respect you or take you serious again.
angryexwife OP responded:
You can all shame me for cheating and I deserve it, but I'm trying my hardest to create a stable and healthy environment for my son.
Update 1 from OP:
I never had an affair. I'm not sugarcoating what I did. It was at whim. I was in place where I felt confused and a female coworker whom I said this too used it as means to seduce me. I regretted it almost immediately.
I didn't know I was bisexual. I'm not trying to justify. I didn't have year long fair it was mistake that happened on whim, which i immediately confessed to my husband about.
aardappelbrood responded:
I'm so sick and tired of people using bisexuality as a an excuse for cheating. straight people get urges to f%$k people of the opposite sex who aren't their partners too.
You can lie to yourself all you want and say that your ex is fine, but he will carry that cheating with him every time he tries to date another woman, even if he has no reason to doubt her. YOU did that to him. Girl, leave him alone, you've done enough...
Update 2 from OP:
After being torn to shreds. Getting called the worst names imaginable, I understand how unfair to my ex husband I was I still love him which will take a while to get over. As some of you suggested I'll look into therapy I will have long talk with my ex husband, I'll let him know the door for us is still open, but I won't force him, you guys where very unflitered is a good word, but I deserved it, I will stop abusing commas.
Update 3 from OP:
All the guys trying to flirt with me in my private messages. STOP!!! Not interested.