Running into an ex can be a nightmare. Running into an ex that cheated on you with an ex 'friend' can be even more of a nightmare. But running into an ex that cheated on you with your ex 'friend' at your parent's house has to take the cake.
AITA for demanding that my parents uninvite my ex-wife and my ex best friend from their garden party?
I came to Reddit for an honest opinion on if I’m the a**hole. I (32M) have been divorced from my ex-wife Elle (32F) for 4 years. It was not a nice thing. She and my ex best friend Silas (25M) have been married for 3 and have 1-year-old baby. My parents and Elle’s parents were long-time family friends and that didn’t stop after our divorce.
My parents are hosting their yearly “garden party” which is just an excuse for them to catch up and gossip with the other seniors. I was visiting my parents when they told me that Silas and Elle would be in town and they were invited to the garden party. My parents can’t wait to meet their baby. I told them no they are not coming.
My parents didn’t budge and said they would not be rude enough to retract an invitation after Elle and Silas agreed. I said no one wants their ex-wife at their parents’ party. My parents said I could be polite for one day. They really want to meet the baby and catch up with them. I made an ultimatum that it was either me or them. I would not attend if they came.
My parents called me an a**hole for making them choose as Silas and Elle hadn’t asked it and potentially making Elle’s parents think badly of them. AITA?
The comments arrived quickly on this one.
You left out some key details. Based on what you’ve said when pressed: You were aware your families are close and that future encounters with your ex would be inevitable if things went south in your relationship.
Things went south in your relationship. Your wife had a medical issue. You preferred work to home. It sounds rough and I’m sorry. You kissed your coworker, cheating on your sick or injured wife. You did not tell your wife, but someone did. She separated from you for your infidelity.
Your friend, who had built a friendship with your ex while you were avoiding her at work, helped her pick up the pieces. That friendship evolved into a relationship. After a couple of years together, they now have a child. Good for them.
Your family, who is friends with your ex and her family, continues that friendship despite an uncomfortable situation. Good for them! When the first inevitable encounter came up, everyone was prepared to be friendly adults at a garden party. Except you. You gave your parents your ultimatum instead.
Look, I get not wanting this to go down. I’m sure it would be uncomfortable to see them. Imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for everyone but you four years ago. I’m surprised they didn’t outright pick your ex.
Finally, you posted this. You came to strangers online, posted half the story blaming your spouse for your dissatisfaction, and are accusing her of an emotional affair with no proof whatsoever. If you have to hide half your story, if you have to leave out everything you did in a situation, you’re in the wrong. That’s just embarrassing.
Well I went NTA to no, YTA in, oh, three comments from you. YOU ruined your relationship, YOU blamed everyone else, and you're wondering why your parents don't really care about your feelings at THEIR party? You made your own bed, man, enjoy the rest.
YTA! Your parents have known her for years and you want them to cut contact because of YOUR “mistake!” you believed she was having an affair with no f**king proof and then you went and CHEATED WHILE SHE WAS HAVING MEDICAL ISSUES!
I'm going to assume it involved fertility since you called their baby a miracle baby! She had every right to divorce you and kick you out! You f**king cheated! your parents have every right to decide who they wanna invite to THEIR party! if you don’t want to see them then simple DON'T GO!
I needed more info which I got from your comments. You emotionally abandon your wife during a medical issue. Kiss a coworker, so your wife obviously leaves after that. You get your feelings hurt that she’s moved on, happy, and clearly thriving.
So you project those feelings onto your parents who have known Elle for a majority of her life, because if you're miserable they have to be miserable too. Even the way you talk about the baby is gross. YTA and you should move on and get some therapy.
Clearly, OP is TA and was purposefully withholding information in the original post.