That was the thought process one man had when taking his recently divorced brother out to celebrate. What he didn't know, was that his ex-SIL's friend was a server at the restaurant they went to. It...did not go well.
My brother just got his divorce finalized. No one in the family liked his wife she was not a nice person, ie, she'd ask for ideas on what to 'spend his money on', was the type of person that celebrated her birthday for 2 weeks and expected everyone to do the same.
There were many arguments over that when people in our family didn't show up for each and every event she planned or wore the shirts she'd make for her birthday. She would interrupt when people were talking to talk about herself, go running to our mother anytime she asked for something and my brother told her no.
The tipping point was when our mother was going through chemo- she had issues with her feet swelling and would elevate them while resting on the couch: the one time we all came to visit my brother brought his wife and she just took the pillow out from under mom's feet to use it in the chair she was in because she was tired.
Aside from expressing our concerns when they first started dating, we never said anything to him and tolerated her for his sake to not push him away and just griped amongst ourselves.
Now they're divorced. The day that it was finalized, I took my brother out for dinner and invited some of our friends that hadn't been able to see him because of his wife.
While we were at the restaurant I toasted his new chapter in life. Someone said 'Real classy' and it turned out one of ex-SIL's friends now works at the restaurant.
We finished our dinner, left, went out for a while longer. I got home and while watching a show with my wife, my phone was going off with notifications. All messages from my ex-SIL chewing me out for celebrating their divorce.
Since my wife wanted to know who was messaging me, I showed her the messages and she's of the mind that while she understands why no one liked my ex-SIL, celebrating their divorce and toasting it was a prick move.
She thought I had been exaggerating when I said I was taking my brother out to celebrate. It's been a few days and my wife is still shaking her head at me over it. AITA?
NTA. There could have been balloons and cake but you kept it low key, it’s not your fault ex SIL friend grassed you up.
NTA. You should have gotten T-shirts made and celebrated for 2 weeks!
I dont think you were wrong to go out. But i would say dont call it celebrating. Call it idk a new beginning. The next chapter. Something that does t directly say he is happy she is gone but is happy to try/ do new things. I think its just your phrasing here. Or it could be been a cheer up dinner, a supportive dinner, a dinner that says we are here for you during this time. Nta
YTA. Divorce isn't a 'win'. Celebrating it is an insult to the person who spent their years building a life with your brother.
NTA. Why is your ex SIL able to contact you? As much as you didn’t like her, I’d have her blocked ages ago. Lol
Let's be real here, celebratory dinners are for special events in people's lives. The only way this celebration could have possibly been a prick move would have been if ex-SIL worked at this restaurant and you took your brother there to celebrate in spite of her. That is not what happened here.
Regardless of ex-SILs personality, there was nothing classless about this as you described it. It is 100% a new chapter in his life. NTA.