Someecards Logo
Son runs away from home until parents tell which one is the cheater. AITA? UPDATE

Son runs away from home until parents tell which one is the cheater. AITA? UPDATE


Parents want to shelter their children from certain harsh truths.

But when do you admit that you cannot protect them from the world? Or that you may be at fault for one of the harsh truths they have to learn? One 14-year-old boy was outraged when his parents wouldn't tell them why they were divorcing. Now, he isn't happy that he knows, but all he wanted was the truth.

AITA for telling my parents that if they won’t tell me the truth, I’ll assume the worst of them


Sooooo my (14f) family totally exploded while I was on spring break two weeks ago. I went on a trip with my grandparents and came back to my mom moved out and a serious sit down talk about them divorcing.

It’s not exactly a surprise because they’ve both been acting weird and shady for awhile but like that’s not what I was expecting to come back to and they could have let me unpack first at least. They asked me if I had any questions and I asked them which one cheated because that was my first thought.

They got super uncomfortable and said that the reasons between them were private. I said not when it means I suddenly lost my family over it and they owe me at least some reason that this is happening and “we don’t love each other anymore” doesn’t cut it.

You don’t just stop loving someone for no reason that’s dumb, so what? They said that was all I needed to know and we need to talk about how the living situation was going to work and everything. I told them that I don’t want to live with either of them if they’re going to be like that.

Everyone has been mad since then and my mom came over to talk it out last night. They still don’t want to tell me why. I told them both that if they were going to hide stuff, I’ll just make up my own worst case and go with that.

Since mom left, it can all be her fault. Since it’s her fault, I won’t live with her or go see her. She got upset and said that was unfair and it wasn’t her fault. I told her to give me the real reason then or just deal with it.

My dad said I was out of line and I said that it can all be his fault then and same deal. That started an argument between the two of them, but I’m holding my own. Pretty sure at least one of them will crack and tell me what happened soon so I can decide how I feel about it.

I don’t need like graphic details but a simple “someone cheated” or “we’ve both really changed a lot and don’t want the same things” would help. If one of them did something bad I want to know. If they won’t own up or explain why there are no bad guys, they can both be the bad guy.

I had to talk to my school counselor today and she said that it’s totally understandable but playing them against each other is going to hurt everyone so AITA?

I don’t have any other questions. If they can’t answer this one then I can’t trust either of them so nothing else matters. I don’t want a relationship with them if one of them did something bad to the other If they both caused it I want to go live with my grandma instead of either of them.

Here were the top responses after the initial post:


YTA Jesus, kid, your parents are having far more decorum in this divorce than most divorcing parents ever have. They're trying not to pin blame all on one parent, and have to work out this incredibly massive shift in their lives themselves.

This is a huge thing for them emotionally as much as it is for you. If they're not at each other's throats and trying to make things as smooth for you as possible, you can at least show a little decorum and give them some time to work up to explaining it to you.

Not everything needs to be the result of some big explosive dramatic moment, life isn't TV or tiktok, go out and touch grass.


Op doesn't sound mature enough to know the reason no matter what it is.


I think you are 14 years old and don’t understand adult relationships. I’m sorry they sprung it on you like this, it isn’t fair. In time you will learn the truth of what happened between your parents but right now it maybe too raw for them.

They are human and it is painful for them too. Be grateful they aren’t blaming each other to you. Many things can end a relationship, not necessarily cheating or interested in a different gender. Give some slack for getting a divorce but you have every right to express your feelings. I’m very sorry this happened to you.

The OP tooks these comments to heart added this message to the post.


Edit, Ok I’m TA. That’s ok. I did some digging on my own tonight and I know pretty much what happened now. I don’t feel bad about being an AH to AHs. Thanks.

Edit #2, People keep asking me what happened. Both my parents are cheaters. My mom is stalking her boyfriend and his wife and trying to break up their marriage. My dad cheated too. It all crashed and burned on him on Friday and I haven’t heard from him since then.

I worked out stuff with my grandparents and they believe me that my mom is lying to them. I’m living with them right now and they’re figuring things out with my other grandma to make a permanent plan. My mom is mad that I wouldn’t go to her place after the blow up but I’ve already told her that I don’t want to talk to her for awhile.

That’s where we are now. It sucks but it would be worse if I didn’t know and had to keep on living with them with all this crap going on. I’m glad I didn’t listen to some people here and just let it drop. I’m glad to know that all the weird stuff I’ve noticed over the last year was real and not made up like my parents told me. I’m ok being TA here just for that reason alone.

Four days later, the OP returned with a more detailed update and it changed a lot of reader's stance on the issue.


To bring everything up to date: Family therapy was a fiasco. I told the counselor that I didn’t want to participate and I would rather stay in the lobby. After she tried to convince me to stay in the room, she let me go back out. My parents told me I was grounded if I didn’t stay.

The therapist talked to them alone for awhile and then we left. I am not grounded. They are big mad. I still have to go with them weekly but I don’t have to stay in the room. I have to go to an individual counselor next week and I’ll see what happens when I refuse treatment. Hopefully I won’t have to go back.

My mom cracked last night like I thought she would, but only admitted to my dad cheating. I am so done with both of them.

I was going to spend a month with each set of grandparents this summer anyway so my parents agreed to just let my home base be with my grandma until the fall. I’ll go once my exams are done. At least my grandma is happy.

I talked to my other grandparents after Shabbat dinner and told them that I know they lied to me. They apologized and we talked. I’m sleeping over with them this weekend and we’ll hash some things out tomorrow.

I feel like something I’ve learned this week is that some people really get mad when I resist being controlled. Being a good kid and doing what everyone has always told me are the right things doesn’t matter unless I shut up and do what I’m told. I’m not going to stop doing good, but I feel pretty done with shutting up and obeying.

A lot of people said I would regret knowing the truth. I don’t. Happy isn’t the word. I’m tired and really disappointed and angry. Now I know who I’m dealing with and I feel better knowing that I wasn’t imagining things like my parents said.

Here were the top comments after this disheartening update:


Reading your post was like reading how I was at age of 14. Very stubborn, very concerned with right and wrong, and filled with rage. But you are allowed to be filled with rage, bcus I can’t imagine coming home at that age and hearing that. I’m so sorry OP.

I want to know though, how is your relationship with your parents prior to all of this? It seems like you are very adamant about your harsh (sorry I can’t find another word but know I’m not condemning you in the slightest) behavior towards them, which makes me think you never trusted them. Or maybe you are just acting like this now bcus you are very confused about the situation.


Did you forgive your grandparents who took you on the trip? I inferred that from you saying your staying over with them this weekend. Or are you waiting until you hash some things out?

The OP responded here:


I talked to them last night and this morning and worked it out. They apologized. I told them that I asked because I had been seeing things happen for awhile and my parents were lying to me about fighting and stuff so them lying too really hurt. They said that they understood and that they realize now that it wasn’t the best thing to do under the circumstances. So we’re square again.


'My mom cracked last night like I thought she would, but only admitted to my dad cheating. I am so done with both of them.' So why did she move out and not your dad? Also what did she do exactly.

The OP responded again:


She says she moved out because she doesn’t want to be in that house anymore because memories. That’s BS. They’re both cheating and she thinks she can break up her boyfriend’s marriage and have him move in with her. I don’t want to go into the specifics of everything she’s doing because it’s just weird, sad, and increasingly illegal.


I think you’re doing the right thing. Do you think your parents were going to use therapy to come clean to you? Definitely make sure that you have confidentiality before talking to a therapist. Make sure to prioritize your safety.


It really sucks to hear your parents wanted to ground you for not participating, but I'm glad you didn't actually get grounded. I hope therapy and everything goes well for you OP, this situation seems hard, and you don't deserve some of the treatment you're getting. Please, do stay in therapy. You may not think you need it, but.. Re-read your own update, you're clearly hurting.

It isn't your place, it isn't the place of a 14 year old, to 'deal' with a divorce. You may have to live with, learn to get used to the divorce, but not 'deal' with it. You're just a teen, don't take on a burden you don't have to.

We wish you the best, OP. I wish I could say things will get better and they do, but I can only hope for you. Please, reach out to people for help when you need it. Don't bottle it in, admit when you do need help. Best wishes.

Everyone is rooting for this poor kid. If you could give them any piece of advice, something to comfort them, what would it be?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit,Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

Featured Content