Divorce is no walk in the park.
Even the most amicable divorce still requires paperwork and all sorts of emotional logistics. And even when you cross all the Ts and dot all the Is, one party can change their mind on how they want things settled long-term.
AITA for keeping my engagement ring after a divorce?
I (35f) was married to my ex-husband (36) for 10 years. We divorced 3 years ago. We have a son together who’s 5. Our divorce wasn’t messy. No one cheated and we agreed on everything when we divorced. We co-parent our son and he’s an active father. In the divorce, it was written that I would keep my engagement ring (it was a family heirloom from my ex-husband's family) and would one day give it to our son.
My ex-husband has a new girlfriend. I really like her and so does my son. I invite them both over for all the events involving our son and holidays. They just had a baby girl together. I’m very excited for them both and my son is excited to have a sister.
My ex-husband sat me down and asked me to give him the ring so that he could pass it down to his daughter since it’s an heirloom and that way would stay in his family forever. I reminded him the ring is specifically in our divorce agreement and belongs to our son.
He suggested we change that and he pass down something different. I said no and I’ve been getting non stop calls and texts from him about how unfair it is because at the time he didn’t also have a daughter. So AITA?
NTA. His reasoning doesn't make any sense. His daughter would get an engagement ring from her future fiancé. It's just a poor excuse to get the ring for his new girlfriend.
Edit: A few commenters have pointed out that some families have a tradition of passing down the ring to future son-in-laws to propose to their daughters, which is perfectly understandable.
Doesn't change my vote on this though. OP's divorce agreement specifically states she is to keep the ring to be handed down to their son. If her ex felt that strongly about 'keeping it in the family' then he shouldn't have let it go so easily. Also, who's to say that the son won't marry for life? A bit pessimistic to assume otherwise...
NTA. You fulfilled the obligations of the conditional gift of the engagement ring by entering into the marriage. He would only have grounds to reclaim it if you ended the engagement.
NTA. So he hates his son enough to suggest his son is either not part of the family or won't be getting married? Sounds like he's too much of a coward to admit he wants to give it to his gf--in which case, you'd still be right to decline.
That doesn’t make sense…in order for it to stay in the family it would need to go to your son since your son has his last name and would likely be the one to propose to someone. It’s already “in the family” since it was given to your son.
Are you sure he doesn’t want it back to actually give it to his new girlfriend to ask her to marry him? Not that I know anyone in this story in real life (lol), but I guarantee he’s lying to you. NTA.
Clearly OP is NTA, and her ex needs to figure out a different plan.