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Woman loses husband and daughter after MIL frames her for cheating. UPDATED

Woman loses husband and daughter after MIL frames her for cheating. UPDATED

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Some parents can never let go.

One woman wrote her story of her jealous mother-in-law and the vicious deciet she used to get rid of her. She lied and paid a man to say that the OP was having an affair. Four years later, the truth comes out. Now, her ex husband wants her back and she is trying to put back that piece of her relationship with her traumatized daughter.

"My ex divorced me and now wants to be together again after 4 years"

divorcedthrowawayacc

Throwaway since I don't want to be linked back to my main account. I'm 46f, and my ex-husband is 45. We were college sweethearts and married at 26. Right before we got married, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter who's now 21 years old.

I loved both of them dearly, and we've been a happy family for about 16 years before everything went down. Our only problem was my ex's mother. She always had a strong dislike for me. She never thought I was good enough for her baby boy.

We had many fights, and my ex cut contact with her after the wedding when she tried wearing white to it. We had many encounters with her years after that. Sending us gifts for my daughter and purposely trying to get us to contact her again to seeing her outside our house.

4 years ago, I got home from work to see my ex and his mom together on the couch. My ex was on the verge of tears, yelling and calling me a cheater. I tried to explain I didn't, but his mother supposedly had proof. Saying she saw me with another man out in a restaurant together.

I'm very faithful and loyal, but he refused to hear me out. We got into a big argument before he packed up and left to stay with his mother. When my daughter got home from a friend's house, she too started to blame me when she found out from her dad.

She went to live with her dad while he sent out divorce papers. It took about a year before it was finalized. He got custody of her, and I was granted visitation rights, but she never wanted to see me.

It took a long time to move on. I seeked therapy and fell into a huge depression. I knew my ex's mother made it up to tear us apart. I can't believe he listened to her so carelessly. I don't blame my daughter, but it still hurts.

I moved out of the house to allow my ex and my daughter to live there. I ended up moving to a small apartment. It's been 4 years, and I started to finally be happy again. I made new friends. We had so much fun and I got a promotion at work. I still missed my family. My daughter, but I couldn't do anything about it.

Two days ago, my daughter called me. It's been 4 years since I've last seen or heard from her. She said that my ex's mother admitted to lying. She said that my ex got a new girlfriend and his mother was furious, claiming he shouldn't have one after all the trouble she went through to get rid of me.

They got into a heated fight before he kicked his mom out. I nearly wanted to cry. I thought she would never admit it, and now I'm hearing my daughter. She asked to meet up and apologized so many times. I told her we could meet tomorrow.

Yesterday, I met her at a restaurant, but she brought along my ex. Something she never mentioned, nor have I agreed upon. He was apologizing, saying how much he missed me and that he dumped his girlfriend. He wanted us to be together again.

I excused myself and left them there. I got back home to lots of phone calls from my daughter and text messages from her. She wanted us to talk, and she called me an a**%ole for leaving. I told her I wasn't comfortable and that she needed to understand. I had to mute my phone and put it down for a bit.

I haven't responded yet, and I'm not sure what to do. I love her, but I can't talk to her with him there. Not yet anyway. It feels so fast. I wanted to do it one on one. I'm deeply hurt and crying as I'm typing this. I don't know what to do.

Let me make it clear about my daughter's custody. Her opinion mattered in court since she was 17 during the divorce. Although the divorce was about me allegedly cheating, my ex and I agreed to keep that apart from the actual divorcing process. We would split what we needed to split and let our daughter choose who she wants to be with. She wanted to live with her dad, and I agreed.

She was strongly adamant about not seeing me, so I allowed my ex to have full custody, leaving me with visitations. Not only that, I needed to find an apartment. I had to move out of the house. I was living off couch to couch in my relatives' homes.

I didn't have space for her, and my ex mentioned it in court. It was the main reason why she was granted to stay with her father. I was under stress, and I was not mentally well. I signed off my rights. I looked like a mess in court, too. There was also a lot more going on during the time.

Here were the top responses after this initial post:

HollowShel

I think it's worth noting that they still aren't believing you. They're only believing what Dear Old Grandma (DOG) has to say - it took her coming clean to clear your name, when it was her word against yours to begin with.

So it's not that they're believing you now. It's that they're still believing anything she says, and they're not listening to you. Especially your daughter with her ambush tactics with your ex.

I'm not saying never make peace with 'em, but I think that it's entirely reasonable to never get back together with your ex, and to have a cautious relationship with your daughter - doubly so, now she's stabbed you twice (once with believing the DOG and once with this ambush dinner.)

Aterakel

Lol why are they acting as if they're doing you a favour or forgiving you for something you didn't do and cool let's go back together. Are they serious?

PlayfulDescription72

Wait, your daughter called You an A**%$LE because you left after she brought your ex husband with her,without letting you know? She is an asshole and your ex too. He easily believed he’s mother lies after cutting contact with Her and knowing what she’s capable of.

They are both a**%#les for not hearing you out, treating you like you are the worst and now trying to be all loving family again. They caused you so much pain and probably trauma but it seems like they don’t care.

A_Sarcastic_Werecat

First of all, take all the time you need. You don't have to follow their timeline. It's perfectly all right to write back 'Please give me some time and space to work through everything. I'll contact you when I'm ready.' and then mute them.

You could also contact a therapist or a counsellor to have an impartial person to talk to. Or friends you know to be clear-headed. You don't have to go through this alone and you don't have to react immediately.

BTW, your daughter is stomping over your boundaries: Sorry, that behaviour is unacceptable, regardless of her motivation. Both she and her ex seem to think that they can snip with their fingers and they can just start where everyone left off, with you immediately forget the past and the hurt you've endured.

So please take care and make sure that you make use of your support network. Please feel hugged, and I wish you all the best.

The OP provided an update three days later.

'Update: My ex divorced me and wants to be together again after 4 years.'

divorcedthrowawayacc

Hi. Within the past two days, a lot of stuff came out, and I'm beat. First of all, thank you for the support and advice. There were so many, but I decided to follow the ones I thought fit best for me and my daughter.

In the last post, I mentioned in the comments about an update. Two days ago, I texted my daughter to set some boundaries after the ambush attack at the restaurant. As we were talking, she mentioned new information about my ex and why he chose his mother's side over me.

Earlier that morning, his mother confessed that she had paid an ex-friend of ours to lie directly to my ex-husband's face, claiming to be my affair partner. Mind you, I never had cheated in the first place. My ex took that as solid evidence and divorced me because of it.

His mother is a master manipulater and had him around her finger throughout his childhood, so I'm not surprised why he'd take her side. He didn't know that the confession was fake until a few days ago.

I wasn't even aware of the entire thing for 4 years. No one had brought it up to me. My daughter gave me the silent treatment, my ex's mother obviously wouldn't tell a thing to me, and probably told my ex-husband to keep quiet and to only focus on the divorce.

I'm still really saddened, but everything makes sense. I was so mad at him for leaving me over her word, but it was much more than that.

Besides that, I decided to give my daughter another chance. She will not know where I live or any personal information to indicate where I am. I'm keeping low contact on her. I don't want her spreading it to her father or other people.

I'll only show up during important events. Graduation, weddings, etc.I know my ex-husband will also attend. If that's the case, then so be it. I requested my daughter to put her father on the phone. He, of course, apologized so many times and hoped we could have another chance as well.

He said he'd do anything to make it up and that he loves me. I said no. I explained that I was keeping him no contact and that I was heartbroken when he didn't communicate to me about the cheating allegations and only assumed. That I was practically homeless for a short time and needed to see a therapist to help move on.

That I wanted to be left alone and currently not interested in another relationships. Then, I gave him a new email in case of emergencies directly involving our daughter. Anything else I will discard. That was the only time I spoke to him in the past two days.

I've been talking to my daughter, setting boundaries and whatnot. She gave small updates about what was going on with her side. They went no contact with my ex's mother, so that's good. I told her never to contact that woman again.

She also apologized about her behavior at the restaurant, and that it won't happen again. I understand that emotions were running high and everyone was tensed. I forgave her. I still really love her. Mistakes can happen.

Now, a lot of you said to sue my ex's mother. I spoke to my therapist about it earlier today. She said it wasn't wise to do so. It'll put more emotional distress on me and that I might have to see her again and may relapse into a depressive state. I really don't want that. I don't want anything to do with that woman again.

All I want to do is focus on myself and on my daughter. I want to rebuild our relationship, and it will be ruined if I do something drastic as in suing my ex's mother. I won't be pressing charges unless something else happens to the point where police are involved. That would be different.

Other than that, I'm taking a break. My daughter can text me anytime she wants, but I did say that I may not always reply since I want to remain low contact as of now.

Thank you so much for the support and love. I can't express how grateful I am. I'm sorry I haven't replied to any of the comments. There was so much, and it was very overwhelming. This may be my last ever post on this account unless something happens in the near future. You guys are amazing. Thank you.

Here were the top responses from readers:

hexesandspells

Best of luck to you, OP. I currently can’t think of a word to describe how obnoxiously terrible what your ex’s mom did to you was, followed by what your ex and daughter did to you after that. Just know that I think you are amazingly strong.

Your ex MIL’s bad karma is coming back around, and hopefully she’ll get what she deserves even without you suing her. I truly hope you continue to improve your mental health and live happily ever after.

UnderstandingQuirky8

I am very sorry for all that you have been through. You are handling this extremely well and setting boundaries to protect yourself. I just have to say, I wonder how this ex-friend lives with himself knowing he played such a huge role in ending your marriage.

Sjdillon10

You should grab a box. Put milk and eggs in it. Leave it outside for a week. Shake it hard then mail it to his mom for her to open.

Edit: add fish and tomatoes. Those are the 4 worst smelling items that spoil.

After combing Reddit, a post from the OP's daughter was found dated the same day as her mother's update sharing her side regarding the whole situation.

'My mom posted about her divorce with dad because of her mom. I'm their daughter.'

AetherDekuna

My mom recently made two posts about our family under the title 'My ex divorced me and now he wants to be together again after 4 years.' I'm their 21 year old daughter, and I'm going to explain my side of things. Yes, I have been given premission from my mom to post this.

There were a lot of things she neglected to say on her part. This is how I interpreted what happened on my side since ya'll are quick to blame :/

5 years ago when i was 16, my dad called me. He said he was at his mom's house and that I needed to pack my things so he could pick me up. He told me that my mom had cheated on him and now he was going to divorce her, so I did exactly as I was told. I was really mad at mom for doing such a thing.

I thought they were inseparable. I was surprised. I thought they loved each other and when mom was accused of cheating, I resented her. I yelled at her. I called her really hurtful things that I regret saying. I left to stay with dad.

The entire time I refused to talk to mom during the divorce. I really hated her. I truly did. During the time, I was with dad and my grandma. I met her a couple times and my mom openly hated on my grandma. I didn't know why.

She seemed sweet and supportive, helping my dad get through. She bought me presents and let me live under her roof. She was a stereotypical loving grandma. Mom ended up moving out so we can have the place back.

In court, I favored my dad's side and it was approved. I refused to contact my mom. It was like she didnt even try to fight to be with me. I was still really angry at her. Dad was crying on some days. He was really stressed and saddened.

She was too, but I thought it was the guilt of being caught and now having nowhere to go and being divorced as a consequence. There was a few times where I wanted to call her. Shout at her. Hate her. I didn't.

For the next 4 years, it was me, dad, and grandma who occasionally visited. She showered me with gifts, always expressing how she finally got to meet her grandbaby. She spoiled me. Dad was still sad for like 3ish years before meeting another women and they started dating. That's when everything turned upside down.

Him and grandma would start getting into fights about the new girlfriend. She would threaten to harm herself and call him a pathetic excuse as a son. She knocked stuff over and constantly broke things when she didn't get what she wanted. She even threatened to hurt me sometimes and steal things away from me.

Dad hardly ever brought his girlfriend over because of her. Grandma kept visiting almost daily. She was super obsessed over dad and the new girl. Now repeat that for 5 months straight until she snapped. Another fight then she confessed.

I was in the other room when she screamed about how she did everything to get mom away from him so she could have him all to herself and now the new girlfriend is stealing him away. That's when I decided to call mom to tell her what happened. I was scared.

The next day we agreed to meet a restaurant. I told dad about it afterwards and he insisted on coming with me. I wasn't sure at first but he convinced me to let him come. He was desperate and even broke up with his girlfriend over the phone. So I brought him with.

I didn't tell mom and when she came and saw us, she was uncomfortable and left after dad was practically begging on his knees. I ended up calling her an a**hole. I was stressed and overwhelmed. I blurted out something I didn't mean. I get why she left.

There was no excuse for my behavior. I started spam calling her and texting her constantly, trying to get a response from her. Some messages weren't nice. I was not thinking properly. Dad was bawling and started saying some depressing thoughts about how he hated himself and that he wished he was dead.

I panicked like what am I supposed to do. The next morning grandma came to the house while mom was sending me long paragraphs about wanting to have a relationship again, but needing boundaries. The two were arguing downstairs until grandma admitted to fabricating the affair confession.

She paid someone $500 to tell dad his wife was cheating on her with him. So obviously, I texted mom about it while dad kicked her out, screaming that he never wanted to see her again and that it was all her fault.

For the next day and a half or so, mom and I communicated with each other. I apologized to her about my recent behavior. It was super uncalled for and i do really regret saying those things.

At one point I gave my phone to dad so the two can talk privately with each other. Mom wants to keep low contact, which I agreed to. Dad was upset that she wouldn't take him back. I learned mom is seeing a therapist and went to see her earlier today.

I haven't seen grandma after dad kicked her out. He has been saying she's been trying to call and text him like every hour. Yes, I'm still living with dad. I'm in community College. It's only a half hour away so I stay home.

I came across mom's reddit post on tiktok like 3 times. There are some comments about me that I'm really upset about. Do ya'll not understand abuse victims like jfc. I had to put up with my dad's constant depressing behavior and my grandma's gaslighting, love bombing tatic.

I'm happy to be in contact with my mom. I never contacted her before because my grandma said negatives about her. I thought mom was the controlling one. She wasn't. At all. I regret my choices and I'm willing to fix them and she is willing to give me a chance. You don't know our family. Stop acting like you do.

Here is what readers had to say:

TheRealMadDogKen

It's mind boggling to me that both you and your father never bothered to get your mothers side of the story and treat her so horribly on the word of random.

aquavenatus

I’m sorry, but you should have known better than to bring your father near your mother..

If you want “redemption,” then stop making yourself out as the victim and BE THERE FOR YOUR MOTHER. Your father has to live with his misjudgment for the rest of his life, but that’s NOT ON YOU! GIVE YOUR MOTHER THE RESPECT YOU NEVER GAVE HER!

And, now that you know how unhinged your grandmother is, STAY AWAY FROM HER. God Forbid you settle down and she tries to STEAL your child AWAY FROM YOU! Your grandmother had both her son and you, which is why your mother didn’t put up much of a fight. SHE PAID SOMEONE TO RUIN HER LIFE, AND SHE SUCCEEDED!

Grow up and look at the situation for what it is and remain vigilant so the same thing doesn’t happen to you!

Feelsthelove

I’ll be honest, I don’t understand how you could hold onto all this hatred for years and never once think that you should hear what your mom had to say or that there could be something more to the story. I’m glad you and your mom are working towards reconciliation

B_Kunkler

If you think this post makes you more sympathetic you are delusional. You are lucky your mother still entertains the idea of a possible reconciliation. The fact that you didn't talk to your mom for 4+ years on the word of a woman who had over 20 years of narcissistic and manipulative behavior is unforgivable to me. Your constant woe is me in the comment section is pretty disgusting.

You and your father have shown your true colors. Please don't hurt your mother any further.

The mother and original OP returned with a final update four months later:

'Update 2: My ex divorced me and now wants to be together again after 4 years'

divorcedthrowawayacc

I honestly don't even know if this is still relevant. I was originally about to delete my account but kept it for a final update. After this, I will be gone.

For the update: It's been a rollercoaster. My daughter had posted her side of the events, which I did not realize how crappy the post really was until you guys pointed it out. We decided to speak about that more in family therapy, and she apologized for it.

She logged out of the account and isn't using it anymore. I'm paying for our family therapy and individual therapy. I said that as long as she goes to school full time, I will be finically supporting it. I think we have grown a lot in therapy. It's only been a few months, and we're able to express our feelings without the other judging.

About my ex MIL: A month prior, she got arrested for drug possession. I literally have no clue what happened on her end, but my daughter messaged me about it. From what I could gather, she got caught with drugs in her home, and she is still behind bars. No one bailed her out. I chuckled when I found out. It was a pleasant surprise.

About my ex-husband: I know he has been spiraling, and I think after his mother got arrested, he snapped. He started getting drunk and verbally aggressive towards my daughter. It's been happening for roughly two months, so I requested that my daughter would live with me since I do not feel comfortable with his behavior.

While he went to work, I came back to the house. It was emotional. Not many things were changed, except no family photos, and the furniture was rearranged. I helped my daughter pack all of her things, along with important documents, and we fled.

I turned my office area into her bedroom and she's been staying with me for a week now. I've been driving her to school, and now this week is her last before she's out for summer break. It was awkward at first. I wanted to keep low contact with her, but I couldn't let her be abused and have the police do very little about it.

We made a report, but I don't think much will be done about it. My daughter and I have been doing little things at my home. Watching television together, driving her to school, and preparing meals for her. We're going slow, but we're bonding, and our relationship is growing.

She's a lot quieter nowadays. She used to be so outgoing, but I know this is taking a toll on her. I'm glad she's willing to be in therapy. I suspect she has depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Safe to say, it's a happy ending. Thank you so much for this journey. I desperately needed the support, which has been received. Also, please don't send threats to my daughter. I already saw many comments speaking poorly about her, but it came to the point where some are sending dangerous threats.

It's so awful and ridiculous. That's not supportive towards my end, and it's gross behavior towards my daughter and in general. Shame on you. Other than that, I appreciate the advice. I'll be deleting my account in a few days or so. Thank you and goodbye 👋

Here were the top responses from readers who followed this story to the end:

NoctuleArt

I feel like I’ve read 5 different versions of “[family member] was furious, and said they hadn’t gone through all the trouble to get rid of me for nothing” verbatim on this sub.

detective_wiZard

idk if i’m just being cold but i have 0 sympathy towards the daughter and ex. they’re always so me me me, it’s infuriating lol

nun_the_wiser

If my partner cheated on me, I would grill them until I had every single detail. Not run and hide at mommy’s house.

Flyingplaydoh

I remember when you posted originally. I was upset and angry on your behalf. I, like probably many of us were wishing and hoping for things for you.

I think I've felt all the feels with your journey. I hope for the best for you and those you choose to have in your life. I do wish you'd keep this acct open not deleted l, just so you can at some point post an update. I think I'll remember yours for quite some time.

So, that was a ride. Years of family time and emotional relationships were ruined by a lie. If you could give any advice to the OP, what would it be?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit,Reddit,Reddit
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