Plastic surgeon snaps on aunt who claims she's not a 'real doctor,' bashes nurse cousin.

Dealing with condescending family members is no walk in the park.

People hellbent on undermining you will turn every circumstance into a chance to make a comment that cuts you down. And after awhile, it can make you snap.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for snapping at her aunt who claimed she's not a 'real' doctor.

She wrote:

AITA for snapping at my aunt who said I wasn't a real doctor?

I (35f) am a plastic surgeon, I went through years of medical school and residency but it was worth it, I originally started med school with the hopes of going into psychiatry but surgery really interested me.

The problem started years ago when I first told my family that I was going into plastic surgery because it was what interests me the most, my parents, siblings, and BIL were all supportive and whenever I felt like giving up they were always there to push me.

But a lot of my other family members weren't as supportive, my aunts always made snide comments about it, as well as my cousins, uncles, and grandparents on both sides, they were all happy when they knew I was in med school but completely flipped when they found out I was pursuing plastic surgery. It annoyed me at first but I learned to just move on from it.

But recently my cousin (40f) on my dad's side, who's the daughter of the aunt who keeps making comments about my job, done a plc on nursing and childcare, which didn't bother me I couldn't care less what she does, but my aunt thought I should know everything that's happening with her daughter.

Every time I see her she goes on about how smart her daughter is and how amazing she is for doing a plc in nursing and childcare, but the last time I saw her she said something that really annoyed me.

Me and my sister were over at her house because she had some hand-me-downs to give to my nephew, we were all eating when she said 'it's great that she's going into medical school (she's not she doesn't even have the brains for medical school) maybe we can finally have a REAL doctor in the family.' I sat there in silence for a second thinking wtf is she talking about?

And then looked at my sister who looked equally as pissed off as me, I snapped back and said 'her changing kids soiled pants doesn't make her a doctor and her knowing how to clean a cut doesn't either, she's not in medical school she's too dumb for that, she wouldn't even last a week before dropping out.'

My aunt looked really pissed off and yelled at me for being rude and then she told me I wasn't much of a doctor either, I yelled back at her that I went through years of med school, and residency, and that I'm a licensed doctor and surgeon and that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

My aunt started crying and left the room so me and my sister just left, a few hours later I got a text from my cousin calling me a b*tch for what I said and 'attacking' her mom. I got more texts from other family members and it somehow traveled to my mom's side of the family as well.

Majority of them are telling me to apologize for yelling at my aunt but my immediate family (mom,dad,brother,sister,in laws,girlfriend) are telling me not to, now I'm being shunned by both sides of the family and they're all refusing to talk to me and won't even let me tell my side of the story, so was I TA?

People had all of the opinions.

Posterbomber wrote:

NTA. Oh did it 'somehow' travel around the family? You can tell them I said to piss off. And that the plastic surgeon who fixed my 5-year sister's face when a dog ate is, so now that within a year nobody could tell it even happened changing her life for the better was, IN FACT madam, a REAL doctor.

And so is the 'plastic surgeon' who put my friend's chest back together after her double mast giving her back confidence and her mental health so there! We're taking those new ta-ta's to Hawaii this year and bringing a happy emotionally healthy friend with them! Oh, I'm so angry on your behalf.

Fine_Following_2559 wrote:

NTA for going off on your aunt, YTA, though for the strays that hit your cousin who wasn't even involved in this conversation apparently.

In a follow-up comment, OP clarified one key point:

I feel like I should add that my attack on my cousin wasn't just something random, she's as bad as my aunt, she always makes comments about my job and other things in my life and always has.

She's rude to everyone in my family and is just a generally bad person to be around, also before I got into med school she'd go on about how you have to be really smart to get into it (insinuating that I wasn't smart enough).

sparrowhawk75 wrote:

ESH. You're a real doctor, and you have the degree to prove it. You lost the high ground when you said your cousin was too dumb for medical school and wouldn't last a week. Lowering yourself to your aunt's level made you just as hateful as she is.

eyesonthestars98 wrote:

Not me coming on here and being wholly disappointed that this wasn't a thrown down between the PhD side of the Family and the MD side. Regardless ESH you are a licensed physician and that should be respected.

The use of the title 'Doctor' in medicine is more colloquial than anything in the US and UK you can look up the history of why physicians and surgeons are called Doctors it is quite interesting but I would encourage you to not get too hung up on the title.

That being said it sounds as though they have been quite rude to you and made it clear they don't value what you do. On the flip side insulting someone's intelligence is uncalled for regardless of if it is true or not.

Amblonyx wrote:

ESH. Your aunt was ridiculously out of line. You are absolutely a doctor! You're a damn SURGEON. Others have enumerated the many things plastic surgeons do for people's wellness and to heal injuries, but even if you only did cosmetic surgery, you would still deserve respect. That's still difficult, intricate work that requires a high level of skill, learning, and care.

You really didn't need to insult your cousin, though. No, nursing and childcare isn't on the same difficulty level as surgery. But it's still worthy, necessary work. Your cousin wasn't the one being hurtful to you here. It might have been better to keep your response focused on your aunt and her poor behavior rather than a third party.

Clearly, no one in this situation is fully avoiding the a**hole allegations.