Names are a very sensitive subject.
Criticizing a new parent's name will often backfire on you, even if they ask for your honest opinion. While this is somewhat common knowledge, some people still have to learn the hard way.
AITA for saying that my sister made her own bed when she named her daughter like this?
My sister, after years of trying to have children, got pregnant with my niece. When she told us the name, I explained in the best way that the name she chose was very common for the animal, even more simplified than she wanted, normally this is a nickname. An example with an American name: She wanted to call her daughter Bella, just Bella and in my country Bella would be extremely common for a pet.
She said I was anticipating the worst and wouldn't change my mind, I gave up, but she was warned. Recently, my fiancée was asking for a dog and I decided to adopt one.
My fiancée always wanted to have a dog called Bella (Tribute to her childhood dog) and I even commented about it being the same name as my niece (2F), but she said that she always wanted to name one of her pets even before my sister get pregnant. Since she owns it, I didn't want to contest.
We currently don't live together, but we constantly stay at each other's houses and Bella comes with her all the time. This weekend was my son's birthday and there was a party at the house, so all my siblings, parents, in-laws and my fiancée came, including Bella (both of them).
No one in my family had met her yet (not even a week after we adopted) and we introduced her. My sister became quiet, my brothers made a joke with the same names.
The mood softened after a while, but when I was alone with my sister, she started saying that I was petty in choosing the same name as my niece for my dog and caused her unnecessary discomfort, since I could choose any other name. I explained by saying that it wasn't me who chose it, but my bride, right after that the reason for that name.
She even said that we could have chosen another name out of respect for her and her niece.
I ran out of patience and ended up saying in a harsh way (she was already yelling at me and I hate being shouted in my ear) that if she didn't want to go through that kind of discomfort, she shouldn't put one of the most common names for a pet and that there's going to be a dog by that name on every corner, she knew it and she picked it anyway, so she made her bed by naming her.
She left early and we are not on good terms, my parents are begging to change the name. But it's not my dog and my fiancee won't budget, telling that she always said that Bella will be the name of her first pet to everyone. AITA?
Extra: I didn't choose the name, if I had, I wouldn't. I let them both know about the situation, like when I said about the name with my sister, in our conversation I said 'My fiancée intends to name her pet that way, would you feel comfortable with that, for example?' and warned my fiancée about possibly causing a fight.
They are adults capable of making their own decisions and both knew about the possibility of that. Yes, I regret being harsh, but I was really stressed with screaming in my ear.
The name is Mel, the equivalent of honey in English, a nickname for Melissa mostly. In Brazil, at least, Mel is one of the most, if not the most, used for pets. I only know my niece with this name, but I know 10 dogs named Mel.
So basically your sister named her the local equivalent of Spot or Rover? Well damn, that was an entirely bad choice. And you don't control your wife, so there's that. NTA.
NTA. Humans and pets often share names, it's not a big deal.
NTA, but I would think very hard about the woman you are about to marry. You told her the name she was about to pick for her dog was the name of your actual niece and she (checks notes) goes with it anyway, thus guaranteeing at least 10 years of crappy family get togethers and a ruined chance of having a close relationship with your niece.
YTA. Come on OP, you can’t be serious. Your sister had every right to name her daughter Bella. You should have encouraged your SO to choose another name for her dog. Petty behavior is immature & unbecoming . Do better OP.
ESH. Your sister sucks because you don't own a name. You warned your sister about the name and she choose to ignore it. Your fiancee sucks because again you don't own a name but she could have been more considerate naming the dog. She could have chosen any other name or even a variation of that name but she didn't.
You didn't seem to fight that hard AND when your sister confronted you, you blamed your fiancee and was hands off. So while you didn't through her under the bus, you tripped her up under that bus. So yeah EVERYBODY sucks.
ESH. Naming your dog after a close family member is pretty uncool, regardless of the name and that you'd pointed it out to her before.
Granted it wasn't your decision and although your fiancé has a reason behind their decision to choose the name, to me changing a dog's name is not a huge deal and if you put a little effort into it you could probably convince your fiance. I'd say this is on your fiance more than anyone, but its a mess all around.
YTA it's not like this was a coincidence. You guys literally name the dog the same thing because you could not give a f* about your niece and wanted to spite your sister.
Clearly, the internet cannot come to a unanimous consensus on this one.