Man tells 'down on his luck' friend he can crash, friend demands he get rid of dog.

People's relationships with animals massively shift based on individual personality, the culture they grew up in, allergies, and childhood exposure.

Some people view pets as family members and easily prioritize them over other human beings, while others put them in a firmly separate category.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for prioritizing his dog over a friend going through a hard time.

He wrote:

AITA for choosing our family dog over a friend hard on his luck?

Me (32m), my wife (30f), and our 2 daughters (both under 5) live in a decent sized apartment, not grand or anything of the sort but big enough for us and for us to host another person for a limited amount of time that it would not be a burden. Recently a friend of mine (28m), that I've known for a few years from an old job, is going through a divorce has asked me for a place to stay.

I talked it over with my wife and she has no problems with him staying with us. When I told him that he could stay he was so grateful, but then told me to let him know once we have gotten rid of our dog and deep cleaned the home as he has a severe dog allergy. We never knew about this as it has never been an issue.

We always hung out at a mutual friend's house, work, the bar, or double dates at restaurants where no dogs are. I told him that we would not be able to get rid of our dog to accommodate, as he is a part of our family, getting older and that it would honestly devastate our girls and us.

He is now running around bad mouthing us to our friend group for taking back our offer for him to stay with us and choosing a dog over his health. I have been receiving multiple calls saying that I am TA for not helping him now. TLDR: I'm choosing our family dog over our friend staying with us due to his divorce.

Edit: I've seen it asked, me and my family are American from the east coast, very pet friendly area, but we no longer live in the USA as of now due to my work, and currently live in a not so dog friendly country on the other side of the world. Dogs here are not looked at as they are in the USA, many view them little more than pests and don't understand viewing one as family here.

People did not hold back on this one.

TemptingPenguin369 wrote:

NTA. One of the other people in your friend group can accommodate him by getting rid of their own pets and paying for a deep cleaning. If he really needs a place to stay, he can try a hotel or whatever, but how urgent can he be if he can wait for you to find a new home for a family member? Just the suggestion to get rid of your pup would have been enough for me to say no.

dorkofthepolisci wrote:

NTA. If he’d asked that the dog be kept out of his sleeping area, that would be totally reasonable. But if his allergy to dogs is so severe that it can’t be managed with antihistamines/he can’t be in an area a dog has been in, then your home was never a suitable option for him. He should have realized that instead of asking you to rehome your dog.

Beck2010 wrote:

Why aren’t all these other friends offering up a place to stay? Next phone call or text you get asking you: “Gosh! I sure am glad you called. I’ll let friend know if your concern and offer to let him stay with you.” And then listen to the spluttering.

NTA. But, boy, your friends sure are judgmental people.

bamf1701 wrote:

NTA. He is asking you for a favor. He is the one in a desperate situation. He does not get to dictate the situation at your home. He especially does not get to tell you to get rid of a family member (yes, a pet is a member of the family). This is beyond arrogant.

And he is getting divorced, he isn’t unemployed. He has other options, like getting a hotel. You aren’t leaving him on the street. Finally, it is the act of a bully for him to get other people to call you and harass you about this. That is wrong on so many levels no think it is safe to say he is a former friend.

I think you really avoided a problem here - if he is being this much a problem when he hasn’t even moved in, what kind of demands would he have made once he got in, and how would he have treated your kids?

SweetLemonLollipop wrote:

NTA. It’s in no way reasonable to assume someone will get rid of their dog for you. He changed the parameters of the arrangement, not you, so you didn’t take anything back…you just responded to the change. He can live with one of your friends who are wrongly calling you the AH.

Clearly OP is NTA, it seems their friend is suffering from a big dose of both entitlement and delusion.