So for the family vacation this year the lady who normally watches my kids for date nights offered to watch the dog this weekend so we did not have to board her.
I noticed the garage door opener was offline so I began to check the camera to see if she was there so she could reset the breaker. In the process of checking the cameras I discovered that she has been taking food/drinks to my bedroom and sleeping there during the night and most of the day all weekend.
Personally, I have house/animal watched several times over the years and have NEVER slept/ate/drink in the owners bedroom.
So now my question is AITA for being mad? Considering she does not live there and has just decided to do whatever she weants.
Edit- additional info she was paid to watch the dog
On the pricing:
Agreed upon amount was $200 to let the dog out twice a day starting Friday and I will return Sunday.
On the implication of the couch-as-bed:
There were 4 blankets on the couch and 5 pillows
But:
There always blankets and large couch pillows on the couch on a normal day
On the comfortability of the living room:
There is a large tv and surround sound in the living room; with access to every streaming service
On what he assumed:
It was my understanding she would just come by to check on the dog.
She has never spent the night at my house while baby sitting. Dog was to be let out twice a day. It was not discussed to sleep there.
On the sneakiness of the cameras, and the dogsitter's awareness of them:
I’m guessing she is not aware of them because she never looks up at them. It’s not like they are hidden either
Tatersprout wrote:
What do you mean that your 'understanding' was that she would come by and check on the dog?
When you hire a pet sitter, you either have them live at your house with your pets or you arrange for a certain number of visits a day.
I've never heard of hiring a pet sitter and telling them to swing by the house whenever.
Why was your arrangement so vague that even you can't verify what you hired her for?
Either she was staying at your house or she wasn't. If she wasn't, then she shouldn't have even entered any bedrooms.
NAH, but you do need to be clear on expectations before you leave.
Luver1 wrote:
Yes, YTA for being pissed for a number of reasons. First, dog sitting is not the same as cat sitting; dogs need to be fed multiple times a day and need to be let out at indeterminate times to go pee / dump; they also need to be taken for walks.
If the person was not “living in”, they would need to be repeatedly coming over during the day. Second, it doesn’t appear that there was a “clear and definitive” discussion about what was and wasn’t included.
So in the absence of her breaking any specifically agreed provisions, you are the AH for being pissed about what was an ambiguity (her staying overnight). Finally, you don’t say anything about paying her for this (you mention she “offered”), so if you are saving on dog kennel, her eating some of your food is not a big deal.
Should she have eaten in your bed … probably not, but not a huge deal. Normally my judgement would be N.A.H. but you asked if you are an AH for being pissed, and for that, the answer is “YES”!
Power320 wrote:
NAH. You're not an AH for being bothered that she slept in your room and she's not an AH cause you never told her that she couldn't.
That's something that should be communicated. Even my best friend pointed out 'hey, we set up the spare room for you' or 'I put some blankets on the pull out couch for you when you stay over.'
You don't necessarily have to outright say 'don't sleep in my bed', but you should at the very least HINT at it. If you really don't want someone in your room, you make it clear.
B3tternow wrote:
YTA because you are dodging legitimate questions in the comments about whether there was a discussion about this whole arrangement and said something about '4 blankets 5 pillows' that's just nonsense -_-
Either you had the conversation (which you have not once said occured) or you assumed that they could read your mind, and shocker! Humans don't have that ability.
Feels like you know you're in the wrong, and trying to place blame. The only thing that I really felt was off with your dog sitter was eating in the bed. Like, just seems like bad manners unless you plan on doing the laundry.
Bunnyball88 wrote:
ESH. As the employer: you are responsible for being clear in your expectations and not allow ambiguity ('it was my understanding....') that you'd be uncomfortable with to persist. You define what it means to do the job. On her part: agree, pretty presumptuous to eat in your employers bedroom.
GothicGingerbread wrote:
YTA. Dogsitters, unlike catsitters, generally stay at your house, and since that includes nights as well as days, they sleep there. And where should they sleep, if not in a bed? What, did you expect her to sleep on the couch? The floor?
Ghostlyfawn wrote:
NAH. this may be a communication error on both ends. she assumed she could sleep in the bed and you assumed she wouldn’t do that.
I dogsit on the side to make extra money outside of work and i’ve had people tell me i can sleep in their bed, though i’ll usually just go to the couch. she probably thought you wanted her to stay those nights and assumed sleeping in the bed was ok.
clarification was needed. if you want her to dogsit again, tell her where she can sleep or if you’d rather her stay at her house instead