There's nothing quite like an innocent question that throws you into an existential spiral.
All it takes is someone accidentally pointing out your insecurities, asking how you'll get your life together, or comparing you to someone else for all the cruel voices in your head to shout at you like a crowd at a wrestling match.
If you've ever wondered if you were singularly sensitive for feeling your stomach sink into your knees after an innocent exchange, just know, you're far from alone.
I'm in my mid-thirties. Went to a new doc for a checkup, and she highlighted some issues but said 'there's nothing to worry about since you're done having children at this point, right?!'
I have no children, and just got married last year. I had all my life decisions flash before my eyes lol.
People who saw my hair thinning for years and then ask me why I shaved my head. Come on did you just want to hear me say it?
'Have you tried ___?' In reference to my acne. Yes, I have. I've tried everything on the drugstore shelf, a prescription, and a few things you have to order online. I've tried everything I can afford.
None of it works, because my acne is genetic, and I'll have it into my 30's. I live with it by pretending it's not there, so thank you for bringing it up. Persistently.
Thank you to everyone trying to help, but this is exactly what I was talking about. Yes I've heard of it, if I haven't tried it it's because I have no way of getting it (ahem: accutane).
My acne was so bad that a coworker asked if I had been in a car accident or something. That one cut deep.
'This isn't a date, right?'
When I was unemployed for a little while it seemed like everyone and their moms asked me “so what do you do for a living?”
I DON’T KNOW IM LOST AND CONFUSED
Asked of my friend while I was there:
I worked in the back room of a small town food bank with a
9189-year-old guy named Andy. He brought his wife Ruth in with him one day, and she sat in a chair for a couple of hours while he worked filling boxes.
She had fairly severe Alzheimer's disease, and stared vacantly and muttered to herself.
When he finished, he walked over to her and offered his hand to her and said 'It's time to get going, Ruth'
She took his hand and looked up to his face and said in a weak voice 'are you the one that I love?'
Edit: Later that evening, I drew a picture of Ruth in my journal because the sight of her sitting in that chair had been so striking to me. Sorry for the image quality. https://i.imgur.com/EwPQoor.jpg That is Ruth in May 2004.
Edit 2: I tracked down their obituaries. Andy died two years to the week from the time this story happened. Ruth died less than a year later.
http://astros.greenevillesun.com/obit/289186 https://www.greenevillesun.com/obituaries/ruth-audrey-garrabrant/article_c60bc6b0-dc07-5b05-a13c-4e7ec169e524.html
To this day I still get asked questions like 'Didn't your dad ever teach you?'
Nope. He passed away when I was 9, I barely remember him, or any memories really before the age of 9.
Hairdresser, 'what do you want to do about your bald spot?' Didn't know I had one...thanks.
'He's your husband?' said in a tone of complete disbelief by a high school friend meeting him for the first time.
My husband's tall, blond, good-looking guy. I have enough self-confidence to say I think I'm pretty cute, but I'm definitely the one who married up in this situation.
I'm aware of that, but it doesn't make hearing someone basically making you out to be a ginger haired sack of potatoes next to a Norwegian male model a welcomed thing.
'Why do your boobs do that?' referring to the way they angle outward. Followed shortly after with 'Why do you have big boob nipples on such small tits?'
F*ck off, Nick.
'Nobody came for your graduation Private?'
My Sgt Airborne during our airborne school graduation. I think that I almost broke when he asked me that; it was already eating away at me after seeing everyone's family there to pin them. He was a great guy though.
He took a couple other guys and myself to his office. Told us to cheer up, we shouldn't worry ourselves because of sh*tbags that didn't show, and it was still an accomplishment. Then he pinned our wings properl
“What’s wrong with your back?” I had such terrible bacne growing up and after I was asked this question I wore a hoodie every day, even in the summer heat to avoid people seeing it.
Confident and don’t care about my scars now though, so that’s good!
'What high school do you go to?' A few people from my high school asked me this at a party once. Kinda crushed me because it reminded me how insignificant I was. I was not invited to the party, my popular friend tagged me along.
Had spoken to these people before because we had classes together or was hanging out with said popular friend.
'Oh, did you just wash your hands?!'
Nope, just really sweaty palms sometimes. Stop trying to shake my hand all the time.