From Throwra31133434: 'I wonder if I'm overreacting but we'll see here.'
I F30 used to be a s&x worker. Now I'm not proud of myself for what I did, but I don't go hard on myself either because circumstances were impossible at the time and I did what I had to do to support my family and myself. My fiance m33 is completely aware of every sjngle aspect of my past and he doesn't judge me for it at all.
His friend, his best friend, however tends to throw in some backhanded remarks about my past and sah he's just joking. He's prone to making jokes about people's personal lives and apparently, everybody is okay with it. They call it 'good sport'.
Last night, My fiance took me to dinner with his family and his best friend was there. We had dinner and started talking about the weddingvwhich is will take place next month.
My fiance said something about the budget being tight and his friend said 'Not so sure about this whole wedding thing since you might find yourself paying for s& later on despite having the legal rights to it!'.
I was blown away! Truly blown away what he said. I really wanted to let it go but since my inlaws laughed then I blew up at him and called him an idiot. He was like 'relax it was a joke, didn't you get it? Well it's your problem then!'
My fiance tried to get me to calm down after I stood up but I got more pissed and told his friend publicly that he was uninvited from the wedding then took my stuff and went home.
My fiance came back and he was flipping out at me saying it was a joke and I had no right to uninvite his best friend from the wedding like that. I pointed out how his friend's joke wasn't really a joke but he said that I should quit being oversensitive and taking shit too personally and seriously.
We argued and he said it's his wedding too and that I was being controlling and moody. I broke down crying and he accused me of using tears as manipulation to get the upper hand in this argument. I packed and went to stay with mom.
My MIL tried calling me to tell me about how I'm trying to drive a wedge between her son and his friend by uninviting him from the wedding. I refused to speak to her about that, but my fiance and her are clearly upset and think I overreacted.
NTA and you need to seriously consider whether you want to marry someone who thinks your feelings are less important than his friend’s obnoxious “jokes” and also that he considers such a person his best friend.
THEN when you tell him you’re upset, he accuses you of being controlling because you’re upset. This is not healthy behavior and it does not bode well for a marriage.
Jumping on here to add that nobody is legally entitled to your body. The fact that the friend even said that part is absolutely gross and your fiancé was ok with it.
And why would OP want to marry into all that hate? You CAN do better, you know? Be with someone who loves and accepts you as you are and will stand by you.
I absolutely detest when people use the 'just a joke' defense when they say something truly offensive.