Someecards Logo
Guy completely ghosts fiancé after going through her laptop; says 'I felt so betrayed.'

Guy completely ghosts fiancé after going through her laptop; says 'I felt so betrayed.'


'I left (ghosted) my [m23] fiancé [f23] because I found out…'

I was just an option early on in our relationship. We did distance early in our relationship for reference. I was away a decent amount for work but eventually got to be home more. I NEVER even considered breaking my commitment to her. We got engaged a little over a month ago, dated for an about a year prior.

About two weeks ago, I was borrowing her MacBook for some studying (She’s working on her masters, was in class at the time). I saw a text pop up from here best friend whom I don’t really like. She’s a bad influence in my opinion… enough said.

Regardless, my nosey ass goes through their messages back-dating to when we first started dating. [See edit below, we were exclusive at this point]

So anyway to keep this fairly short. There were two other guys I know of for sure she entertained enough to go out with, kiss (‘made out all night’ in her words), send pictures to, and brag about it to her best friend I don’t care for. Oh and let’s not forget she spent the night with one too. She never sent nudes or anything over text even to me, but a lot of the pictures she sent me, they also got.

I confronted her when she got back from class and she made excuses for everything and shamed me for going through her messages. I know I shouldn’t have, but either curiosity or instincts from back then got to me. She admitted she kissed one of the guys one night she got too drunk and slept in the same bed, BUT fully clothed in her words, who knows.

I slept on the couch that night I was so pissed. My mind was made up right then and there I was going to leave. If she’s going to do that early on in our relationship, I can’t honestly trust her ever again.

A few days go by and I make it seems like I’m good and over it just to buy time to collect myself. I got myself situated, and made up some BS story that I wanted to get her engagement ring engraved while she was in class. She agreed.

The next day while she was in class I packed myself up and drove to a close friends place to crash. Blocked her on everything. It’s been over a week of no communication (I don’t plan to communicate further at all tbh) and I honestly just need to get it out there. Feeling like I’m getting in my head. I felt so betrayed as I was always so loyal and committed. Enough to put a ring on her finger.

Now I’m just chilling, not sure we’re I’m at emotionally. Trying to stay productive and keep my mind off it. Coming to Reddit for validation or something I guess lmao.

Side note: Anyone interested in a 18k rose gold 1.5 total Karat diamond band? 😂

EDIT: We became exclusive days after meeting for the first time. It was her idea because she didn’t want me being with anyone else while I was away for work.

EDIT 2: I left a letter explaining why and how I can no longer have trust for our relationship. Immature or whatever, it’s done and I’m learning from it.

Comments and responses from OP:

junglequeen88 writes:

Did she kiss these other dudes after you guys were exclusive or before? The answer to this question matters. If it was AFTER you were exclusive, that's not okay. If it was BEFORE you were exclusive, she literally did nothing wrong.

MacNJeeez OP responded:

After we were exclusive and well into the relationship. We were exclusive about a week after first meeting each other. She initiated it. Happened while I was away for work.

mambomak writes:

Don’t go back. You’ll feel lonely and you might start looking at her through rose-colored glasses. Don’t.

I would say you should have left a final note of some kind making it clear that your relationship was at an end, but if she cheated on you then I’m not going to complain about ethics on your part that much.

MacNJeeez OP responded:

I did! I left a letter explaining what went wrong and how I can no longer trust her. I had enough to be fair. There was more going on that I detailed. This was the breaking point for me.

andyman234 writes:

You’re lucky you found out now, and not much later down the road.

MacNJeeez OP responded:

Yeah I feel that.

sportsbot3000 writes:

The ring move was baller! Knocked it out of the park!!

MacNJeeez OP responded:

“It” you mean my wallet? Jokes aside it was rushed

Pl4tslapz writes:

Bro no offence but what the actual f**k is wrong with this generation? Engaged after 1 F**KING YEAR??

I have been with my girlfriend for over 6 months. We have not even said I love you yet. It’s my 5th relationship. U can’t force things man, what’s the rush ffs? Why can’t u guys just be girlfriend and boyfriend for years on end without tiring the knot?

Is a demon behind u pushing u to do that? Like there’s no reason to take it that far untill you’ve known the person for at least a few years. Anyway, good luck man hope you’ve learned for the future.

MacNJeeez OP responded::

I agree. Things were rushed. Definitely learning from it now. I wasn’t ready, but I felt pushed to do those things. Who know why I succumbed to it, probably being my first real relationship. I wasn’t ready, probably not even for a relationship. Learning from it.

pomskeet writes:

She was wrong for making out with another guy if she knew you two were exclusive (which it sounds like she may not have) but ghosting your FIANCÉ is very immature. Almost as immature as going to through her text messages. It doesn’t sound like you were ready to get married.

MacNJeeez OP responded:

Yeah I wasn’t. Looking back I wasn’t ready to be engaged either. She played on my emotions and I feel like I proposed because of the way she acted when I said I wasn’t ready.

Aoeletta writes:

OP isn’t mature enough to get married. There is a deep failure to communicate clearly between them.

MacNJeeez OP responded:

Fair. Taking into account for the future

National-Return-5363 writes:

Here’s a life advice: do not marry too early, esp early 20’s.

MacNJeeez OP responded:


MadGearMissile_Kid writes:

It’s good that you’re no longer in this relationship but please reflect on this situation accordingly. You’re both 23, you’d been dating for almost a year, you don’t like her close friend, and you felt inclined to go through her messages. Why did you propose to someone you pretty much hardly know?

Don’t you think it’s weird that you were able to completely ghost someone you were planning on marrying? I mean, thank god you found out what was going on but you were very close to f**king up your life for a good number of years. Fortunately, you still have your whole life ahead of you so please make better decisions.

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

Featured Content