Mom refuses to give elderly woman her son's seat on the bus; AITA?
Planes, Trains and Automobiles: a classic movie, but also a list of places that can feel like a waking nightmare for passengers.
throwawya293_ shares her story:
'AITA for not letting an elderly woman have my son’s seat on the bus?'
Alright so my son (17) has weekly therapy appointments that I take him to. Unfortunately, my husband let our daughter borrow his car and then had an emergency at work so he had to use my car so my son and I had to take the bus.
It wasn’t ideal, but I’d rather take the bus than miss an appointment.
While it isn’t my place to share why he goes to therapy, I will say that he will often forget to eat. I usually make sure he’s fed, but due to the mess in the morning, it slipped my mind.
The bus wasn’t too crowded but all the seats were taken. My son wasn’t doing too well and I could tell he was feeling dizzy from hunger and the added bus ride. So the second someone got off their seat, I sat him down. I then tried to find a chocolate bar I had in my bag.
While this is happening, I noticed an elderly woman and her adult daughter standing beside us. I didn’t pay much attention until the daughter tapped me on the shoulder.
She asked if my son could move so that her elderly mother could have a seat. I felt really bad, I really did, but my son was not doing great and standing would make it harder. I had found the chocolate and he was eating it slowly but if he stood up right then, I can assure you he would’ve fainted.
I apologized to her and explained that my son wasn’t feeling well.
She rolled her eyes at me and said that she saw him standing earlier and that he’s a young healthy teenage boy-he’ll be fine. I apologized once again and told her that he wasn’t feeling well and that if he was then HE himself would’ve offered her a seat.
The daughter told me to look at her mother and I admit, the poor woman looked really tired. But I couldn’t. My son had started to lean against me so I told the woman one last time that I was sorry and to ask someone else.
I then heard them both whispering and calling me entitled. And when we got off the bus, a woman that got off with us said that a teenage boy can handle standing more than an elderly woman can and that she hopes someone treats me like that when I’m her age.
My son was so out of it, I don’t think he even noticed or cared but I can’t get this off my mind. AITA? I wasn’t sitting down and did not have a seat myself.
Reddit users had some very interesting and differing opinions on this situation.
El8za sides with the OP, saying:
I don't see how you're in the wrong...is the woman's daughter a doctor who is familiar with your son's experience? If you went as far as explaining that he wasn't feeling well, that is good enough.
It doesn't take hours to go from feeling fine to dropping like a sack of potatoes. (I know, it happens to me quite often.) Why didn't she ask someone else? Even if you were being 'entitled' why would she assume that, especially when you're not sitting and he is? I tell you, we get ourselves into unnecessary situations by assumptions.
axxred draws a cold line with:
You don't have to give your seat up if you don't want to. You were there first, no one is entitled to it. It's a nice thing to do, but beyond a moral compulsion that seat is yours for the duration of the trip.
ScifiGirl1986 takes offense at the OP's parenting:
Why the hell did you not make sure your son had eaten before leaving the house? The way you described him, it sounds like he hadn’t eaten all day. Sure, he’s 17, but it sounds like he’s not in a good place right now, so it is your job as a mother to make sure he eats.
FoghornFarts takes a harsh stance:
If your son was too unwell to give up his seat for an elderly woman, then you shouldn't have been on the bus in the first place. You should have been in an ambulance.
Samarack follows suit, blaming the OP:
If your son was that weak, or on the verge of fainting, why on earth didn't you Uber/Lyft to the appointment, or even cancel his appointment. He wasn't going to see a doctor. I assume you were standing as well, yes? I do think they overreacted to you and feel sad you were called names (or whispered).
canvasshoes2 commiserates with the OP's son:
Having an 'invisible' illness is the pits. For just this very reason. I too get these crashes on occasion, and there's no choice to it. If I don't sit down and get something in me, a gatorade if nothing else, I WILL pass out.
I've been this way all my life, thin and chunky, (and yes, have been to billions of doctors over it....slight exaggeration). 99% of the time I manage it well, but sometimes forget to eat or think it's been a lot less time since last eating than it has been).