Daughter complains about babysitting, so mom says 'do it or share a room with him.'
The premise of any good sitcom is when two mismatched characters have to share each other's space. It worked for Three's Company, but life's not really a sitcom. So when a teenager told her mom she didn't want to help out with her niece anymore, her mom's response hit hard.
'AITA for 'forcing' my daughter to parent?'
I [45f] am a wife to [45m] and mother to five boys and two step sons. I also have one daughter. Ever since my oldest son [29m] and his wife [20f] moved in a couple of months ago, my daughter [15f] has been very troublesome and seems to have a problem with everything.
For example, when my daughter in law and oldest son moved back in, daughter had to now share a room which she was unhappy with — and she claims she is treated 'unfair' and 'unequal'.
A few weeks ago, my daughter in law gave birth to her beautiful baby boy. Obviously having a newborn is very stressful for her, so me and my daughter in law asked my daughter to start helping with baby. My daughter was fine with this at first but then she started to slack off with helping with baby.
I told her she needed to step up more and my daughter got mad at me. she claimed that we were making her take care of the baby everyday after she came home from school, she was the one who had to feed him mostly, she was like a third parent to baby, and that me and daughter in law were forcing her to take care of baby '24/7'.
This upset my daughter in law badly and I admit I got mad at my daughter so I did ground her and told her that if she thinks she is a third parent I will make her one and move her and baby into a room together.
Me and daughter in law also told her taking care of baby is good practice because very soon she will have kids of her own. My daughter said she didn't want them, but my daughter in law said that it's a phase and that soon she will.
I think I really upset her because she just stood there not saying anything and then she left. I think i might have gone too far with the lecture, but she was being disrespectful so I am conflicted. AITA?.
Here's how the Reddit babysitting committee interpreted the situation:
From suzyshouseofhorrors:
YTA. You need to step it up and stop enabling your son and DIL's mooching.
Your child doesn't need to be parenting a baby that isn't hers. There is no acceptable reason for your 15 year old daughter to be solely caring for nephew every single afternoon. Time for the parents to do their job.
From felifrost:
YTA. It’s not her child. Why should she have to take care of it when she didn’t choose to have it? She has school, friends, hobbies, a life of her own.
YOU take care of it. Don’t volunteer your daughter to do it. I bet you don’t get your sons to look after it, do you? So you’re sexist as well. If she wanted experience in raising children then she would have volunteered, or taken up babysitting. Dismissing that she doesn’t want children is also an asshole move. You and your DIL suck.
From DoIwantToKnow6417:
So you have 5 sons, two stepsons and one daughter. Who does the daughter have to share a room with? Also, she is 15, why are you making her responsible for a baby SHE DIDN'T have?
And if you want to make taking care of the baby a family issue, why does the girl have to step up, and none of your boys?
I [45f] am a wife to [45m] and mother to five boys and two step sons. i also have one daughter. The fact you sort of added her at the end as a mere afterthought already shows us you don't really care about your daughter. You could have named her Cinderella, the way you are treating her.
From MaybeAWalrus:
YTA. The only person that needs to step up here is THE ACTUAL MOTHER AND FATHER OF THE CHILD, not a 15 yo.
From Mean_Environment4856:
YTA, if having a newborn is SO stressful for your DIL you step up and help her or you know the baby's father, don't push the responsibility on your 15yo. Your DIL equally sucks for saying its just a phase that your daughter doesn't want kids. The way this post is written though I have a hard time believing it's real.
From misslo718:
YTA. Why isn’t your SON taking care of HIS baby?
Let's help this family find another babysitter, shall we?