Ignored daughter refuses to help with new baby parents call their 'first baby.'
"AITA for telling my parents they can forget about me helping out with mom's pregnancy or their 'first child?'"
Easy-Individual-8637
I'm 16m and I will be 17 soon. My parents recently learned they are expecting another kid. I say another kid, but this will be their first in every way except biologically. They have never been good parents. They do the barest of the bare minimum and have never considered me their actual kid. I was the burden. They had me when they were 25 and they basically dragged me up.
Originally, I was going to be raised by my paternal grandma mostly but then she had a massive stroke which left her in a care facility so they were forced to figure out a babysitter for me for most of the time and when I was younger it was a revolving door of babysitters so I never had someone I could get close to. I was never someone they considered their responsibility.
They never attended a school conference, they have never signed off on stuff for school, they never signed me up for the free school lunches and I mostly had to rely on teachers giving me something and then I learned how to make my own (without anyone showing me first.)
They never saved for me. I have struggled a lot with school and my grades aren't that good and my teachers over the years have wanted to speak to my parents about getting me help and checking it out but they never showed. I have basically been alone my whole life even though we live in the same house and I have always been able to have some kind of food or something at home.
Does it hurt? Yeah, but I'm (mostly) used to it. And yes, I have tried talking to them about it over the years. I wrote them letters and they didn't even read them. They tossed them in the trash and told me to "stop bugging them."
Mom was so excited when she learned she was pregnant. They were celebrating and telling their friends (no family really since grandma died when I was 7) about the baby and they talked about how great it would be to have their "first baby." They have openly talked about all the stuff they will do for her.
They did the early testing to find out baby is a girl. My parents already started buying stuff for her and they started a college fund for her already. Something I do not have. They never set up a savings account for me anywhere.
My mom started having some complications and she needs to take it easy. They started telling me I needed to do more and I would need to be on hand even when the baby comes. I told them they can forget about me helping out with her pregnancy or their "first child."
I told them I was their first child or I was supposed to be anyway. My mom told me I was a mistake and came at the wrong time but now they're actually having a child they want and I should help them. They told me not to be selfish and I owe them because they made sure I wasn't homeless or in foster care after grandma got sick. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
IrrelevantManatee
That's so messed up.
"I owe them because they made sure I wasn't homeless or in foster care after grandma got sick."
They are your parents. Taking care of you is the bare minimum they are required to do by law. You don't owe them shit for doing the bare minimum they are required by law. NTA. Do you normal, basic chores, and DO NOT lift a single finger for this baby. It's not your responsibility one bit.
The OP responded here:
Easy-Individual-8637
That was kinda my plan. I keep taking care of myself and not doing anything else.
TheTr011l0ll3r
NTA if I were you I'd call CPS on my own parents. They're full of neglect with their parenting with you. Which neglectful parenting is considered a type of child abuse. It's better to be adopted or fostered by a family that cares than be living with them. And they're making you an extra parent.
Tell their friends or an adult you trust that they aren't good parents and they never helped you (and you want to get out). Maybe tell your friends if they're willing to have their parents provide a better home for you. Your life will get harder if you don't get out of there. At some point they might even ask you to drop out of school for their "first baby" 🙄.
Tell a teacher, anyone you trust, to help you out and that your parents are horrible. Either way at some point you're going to need to get out of that house cause your situation sounds very similar to others that ended up not so well.
And they were 25 when they had you? That isn't too early. That's the age where they should know better on how to take care of a kid or use protection. They're just AH parents that wanted a girl 🙄. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I hope everything goes well and something really good ends up happening to you.
The OP again responded:
Easy-Individual-8637
Yeah, they were 25 and they did not want a kid. I was the baby that happens when they weren't careful enough one time and by the time they calmed down enough to make a decision it was too late to abort me. There is no way I would be living with them at all if grandma hadn't gotten sick back then. I don't think I'd even know them.
PetiteDreamerGirl
NTA, if you have any relatives, contact them or talk to your school counselor. What they said absolute horrendous. Being told your a mistake is horrible and sticks with you. Also you owe them for not making your homeless or putting you in foster care.
No, you were their responsibility. You don’t owe them for keeping you off the streets cause if they did that, they would have been arrested for parental abandonment. I’m so sorry. You have trash parents and you didn’t deserve that bull.
The OP again responded:
Easy-Individual-8637
I have no relatives. The only one I did have was my grandma. I can't talk to my school counselor either. He's one of the shittiest and would make me feel worse.
atealein
NTA. Your parents are toxic. I hope you can get yourself emancipated and find some sort of job/income to get out of that place. I am so sorry for your childhood.