Teen asked to bake cake for absent dad's 'new daughter' for free; 'she's family.' AITA?
'My dad abandoned me but now he wants me to help his new family out'
I (19)F never had my dad (39)M in my life. He would pop up once every 5 years and act like super dad. He lied to my cousin's mom telling her he payed for my prom (I didn’t even go to my prom) and saying he payed my senior dues ect.
My dad doesn’t know anything about me or what I’m interested in. When I was around 16, my grandmother told me my dad had a new girlfriend and he wanted me to meet her kids.
I laughed at her and refused because I’m tired or being disappointed and hurt over someone who clearly doesn’t want me.
My brother (18)M thinks I should reconsider (his mom and our dad both raised him). I told him our dad was actually a father to him but not me and I’m not about to be around his 3 “daughters“ when he didn’t even raise his first child.
My dad called me from my grandma's phone one day panicking because his daughter's birthday cake got ruined. I have a small business where I sell desserts and other things like that.
He wanted me to bake a 3 tiered cake with floral designs and her favorite chocolates on the top. I laughed at him and asked him why would I do that. His exact words were “you make cakes for strangers, but you can’t help your sister out?“
I told him she’s not even my sister and asked him to please not talk to be again because I have finally gotten to a place where I am able to shut off all emotion and I don’t care anymore. I told him he made me this way and I can’t let anyone in because of him.
My brother called me asking me what happened because Anna, my supposed sister, called him crying. I told him what I said and he told me our dad lied and extended what I said.
I’m not cruel nor do I have any problems with his “ kids “ but they aren’t family and I’m not doing favors for anyone who I don’t care for. My grandma called me saying I’m an a**hole and I finally snapped. I let out years of hurt and disappointment in a group chat with her, my dad and brother.
She said nothing I was saying was true and my dad was a great dad. My brother spoke up for me and said he wasn’t going to talk to her anymore because she’s delusional and spoke so poorly about me.
My brother's girlfriend and dad’s girlfriend called me snapping at me, saying I ruined her family and I’m trying to mess up my brother's and grandma's bond. My brother still loves our grandma, he just doesn’t like how she’s acting towards me because of her own son's actions.
My brother and I went out and we had a long talk about how we both feLT and I really opened up about our dad and, eventually, my brother fully understood. We had never really talked about my dad and he thought he had been around more. He apologized.
My dad expected me to make the cake for free and decorate it how exactly how his 'new daughter' wants. I was also expected to watch her little sister (7) while making the cake so Anna and her mom could go and get their nails done. They expected that I would be coming to the party and still getting her a gift ON TOP of the free cake.
I don’t know what delusion they live in and I felt like I wasn’t wrong, but everyone is calling me making it seem like I’m an a**hole.
The only one who isn’t making a big fuss about it is Aaliyah (19)F, Anna’s older sister.
I love my brother and will always talk to him but am I wrong for cutting off my grandmother and not doing an unpaid favor for my dad's stepdaughter?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
You were more than justified in your actions. Rest easy.
Yeah, I doubt there was even a “ruined cake” and dude was lying to get a free cake. Then, like my narcissistic MIL has done, tried turning every other family member on me for something completely justified
How about blocking their numbers? Just get rid of them.
I second this, if you see blocked numbers or numbers you don't recognize calling you, let it go to voicemail.
You 'dad' sounds like a major asshole and good for you for standing up for yourself.
Don't let any of them gaslight you. You know EXACTLY what you lived through and how you were treated. There are 4 kids in our family. Our Dad did everything for the oldest, and pretty much ignored/shit on the rest of us.
After Dad died, the oldest wanted to talk about Dad and how he was the greatest, etc., etc. The rest of us finally told her what our experiences were and she was in shock.
It's hard to imagine that she never saw the huge difference between how she was treated and how we were treated. But she didn't. She knows now but it blew her away.
Your younger brother just doesn't see it. But you know what happened and you have set your boundaries accordingly. Keep your convictions.
You don't know these people. If he wants a cake made in a hurry, he can pay for it with a premium just like anyone else would. NTA.