'Her brunch plans were more important than her dad's surgery.'
"Her brunch plans were more important than her dad's surgery."
I'm 30F surgeon and early this week I was scheduled to do a gallbladder (laparoscopic cholecystectomy) removal on a patient. Nothing experimental, but important enough that you don't just push it off unless you absolutely have to.
His adult daughter maybe in her mid 20s comes up to me right before we are about to head into the OR and asks if I can move it to later in the afternoon because she and her brother had brunch plans. BRUNCH!? While their dad was literally waiting to have surgery.
At first I didn't know if I was to laugh because I thought she was joking or not. She was very serious thought about walking away but then I had to keep it cool and explained to her that surgery isn't like a haircut you can reschedule or a plate to wash later.
She didn't seem to be moved she was still insisting, and said, you are the doctor you can have another appointment to bump someone else that's your job and have my dad's later.
I bit my tongue but inside I was boiling. Like sorry your fathers health is messing up your pancakes and mimosas.
The best part? Is that she threatened that she'd file complaint against me later for being inflexible and unsympathetic to the family's needs.
I will never understand people like that. I work insane hours, miss holidays, go without sleep... and somehow I'm the bad guy because I wouldn't reschedule surgery around brunch.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
I work in healthcare appointments in an Hospital. This happens several times a day. "Hey ma'am we got an opening for Timmy's cast replacement on Thursday" "Oh no, not Thursday it's when I water my plants" (not even a joke or rare)
Oh man, the self control you had not dressing her down right there...I am impressed. At the end of the day, you did the right thing by your patient, and that's what really matters. One day she'll be in a situation where she needs her family and well...
Lol. My parents got pissed at me for not accommodating to their schedule when I had emergency ankle surgery, in the sense that I was close to losing my right foot. You're an amazing surgeon and keep on doing what you do. I'll buy you some pancakes and mimosas when the daughter and son need emergency surgery, and we can hang with the dad too.
That’s wild. Imagine being mad your kid didn’t line up an emergency around your calendar. Some people shouldn’t be allowed near hospitals. And honestly love the pancake and mimosa idea.. at least your bring support instead of entitlements.
I'm not a doctor but have many in the family. The number of moving parts that need to come together even to arrange for that kind of surgery, between all the people, the space, even the devices being prepped, is absolutely lost to most people. But insisting that it be rescheduled for their meal plan is a different level of cluelessness altogether though.
Did the father know?
JennyVix (OP)
He did. He was honestly really polite and grateful he he whole time. Which made it up even worse seeing that kid act like brunch mattered more that his health.
I'm an RN. You would not believe (well, maybe you would) the number of people who drop off their mum/dad/spouse/whoever at the hospital for a procedure and then disappear for the rest of the day. Later, we try to call them to come pick up the patient. No answer. Sometimes, it goes to voicemail.
Sometimes, it just rings and rings because they don't have voicemail. Sometimes they answer, but it's "Oh, he's done already? I can't come back until (many hours later)." No, Ma'am, the doctor has already discharged your husband. Either come get him now or send someone else to pick him up.
That’s actually insane. Imagine valuing eggs benedict over your own dad’s health. You handled it way better than I would’ve, because I’d have lost it on her right there.
Dad was already "pre-anesthetized"for the procedure. It's not like you can just yell down the corridor and swap out the patient, the surgical tools that are already autoclaved, the whole damned team. She's a moron.
It's not just a current problem. In 1970 my father dropped off me and my mother at the hospital and he went home to watch a baseball game. Two hours later when I needed an emergency appendectomy he came back to drive my mother home. I was 14. I waited alone for surgery that took place at midnight and woke up in recovery alone. Some people have no clue.
Not to mention given the father was literally heading to the OR, it will have already ready been set up and staffed for the fathers operation. To reschedule and bump the next patient in line, would have meant the OR would need resetting up for that patients surgery.
This is an audacious waste of hospital resources and precious time the staff could have spent with another patent whose family don't put Brunch over a family members health.
Then raising complaints and wasting even more people's time and energy, when their ridiculous entitlement isn't pandered to takes the cake. JFC. Who is breeding these damn imbeciles?
People can be awful. I, unfortunately, would have lost my cool. Ive gone through several surgeries working in hospitals and scheduling them is difficult. Getting 5-10 people (doctor, anesthesiologist, nurses, surgery technician, and the patient) together is hard enough without entitled family members who think you work for them. What a shameless nightmare of a daughter.