'AITA for serving my SIL on a kids plate after catching her breaking our plates?'
"AITA (30F) for serving my SIL (30F) on a kids plate after catching her breaking our plates?"
babysharkplate
My husband and I have family dinners at our house every month or so with our family. I have some sets of fine china that I like to switch out between the seasons that I've inherited from my grandmother.
When we have our get togethers, I serve dinner on these plates. My MIL compliments them everytime. My Sister-In-Law, however, has made comments to me that "they're not her style."
I honestly didn't think twice about her comment until this past February when one of my plates was put in the sink, broken. I chalked it up to an accident.
In April we had another dinner. This time SIL was carrying both her and her boyfriend's plates to the sink and accidentally dropped both. Again, no biggie at all. In May, she broke two more plates and in June she broke a plate and a cup.
At this point I was catching on. I brought up these concerns to my husband and he brushed it off as accidents. I told my mom and she said she thought my SIL was doing it on purpose & got me a camera to put in my dining room.
In July we had dinner, and I had an opportunity arise. My MIL, SIL and her bf joined us for dinner. While our plates were still ON THE TABLE my MIL asked how my plants were doing and I said I'd show her! I told my husband to follow us outside so he could show her the plant he's growing, leaving SIL alone with her bf.
When we came back inside 5 mins later, her plate was broken. When they left, I pulled up the camera footage. I saw her stand up when we walked out, she peeked around the corner and then threw the plate on the ground. I kept this video to myself.
Thos brings me to this past weekend. We had our family dinner and we were joined by my in-laws, SIL & her bf as well as my parents, siblings & niece. I served everyone, saving evil SIL for last.
I brought her food out on a child's plate with a sippy cup and got those kid's silverware with the plastic handles. She looked at me confused and said "I think you mixed my plate up with your niece's plate."
I said "No, niece's name is responsible enough to eat on a grown up's plate. If you're going to act like a child in my home, I'm going to treat you like a child in my home." She tried to play coy but I had my ipad ready and played the video to everyone at the table.
She started sobbing, swiped the kids plate off the table and stormed out. My in-Laws both apologized and offered to pay for replacement plates but I told them not to worry about it. Despite this, we still had a nice time.
When everyone left. My husband told me I was out of line and cruel, but I told him that this has been happening for months & I've told him it was bothering me multiple times.
It's Wednesday, he's still being a little cold to me and I also got a text from my S-I-L's boyfriend asking me if I would apologize to her because "I really embarrassed her."
I sent him the video again and he left me on read. My husband just called me to ask if I was taunting her boyfriend because his sister called him crying that I was. So, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
lady_rain_was_here
NTA. You're amazing. You have nothing to apologize for. Your SIL does have lots of things to apologize for though.
The OP responded here:
babysharkplate
I do feel bad that I embarrassed her. I spoke with their mom today and she and my FIL have my back and that I should demand her to pay for the plates and if she doesn't they would, but I'm not going to make anyone do that. I got them from my grandma so they were special to me. Money can't help the sadness of not having them back :(
lady_rain_was_here
That makes me so angry for you. I'm very sorry that she did that to your plates. Hopefully you still have the remaining set to remember her by. I'm glad your in laws are on your side. Just remember that she embarassed herself. She's a grown woman.
thelilasian
Same here! But also what was her goal in destroying her tableware? Normally if you don't like something then that's your opinion but to outright destroy something on purpose, especially if it's china from someone's grandmother, what the actual heck is wrong with you¿ But kudos to OP for the kids plates since she just swiped it off the table like a toddler with a tantrum, proving OP point.
lady_rain_was_here
She mentions in another comment that she and the bf got caught shoplifting recently, so she obviously doesn't make great decisions.
Prudent_Plan_6451
OP may I recommend replacements.com? They have 2nd hand china, etc. in perfect condition at excellent prices. And will even identify your china by photo if you are unsure of the maker/pattern. And include many discontinued/vintage patterns. And will hunt for your pattern if they don't have it in stock.
magentahorse91
NTA. Your husband and your SIL’s boyfriend are assholes though. You inherited those from your grandmother. SIL has something seriously wrong with her mentally. Who breaks someone else’s plates just because they aren’t her style?
Who cares about someone else’s plates? It’s a goddamn plate and it’s not her house. She’s behaving like a child, she deserves to be treated like one and called out. What a psycho. Does she display any other type of aggressive behaviours to you? She sounds jealous and is throwing a tantrum like a toddler.