Woman accuses niece of stealing her daughter's doll, calls her a 'liar' and 'thief,' finds the doll. AITA?
'AITA for ‘screwing over’ my sister by immediately quitting babysitting for her?'
blockedbabysitting
Basically I (39F) was helping my sister Claire (38) with her kids 9M and 5F because she’s going through a nasty split with their dad. They go to the same school as my kid, 6F and I work flexibly and from home so it was easy to pick the kids up and watch them for a few hours.
I was always paid for my time as was my husband who helped but I quit after Claire accused my kid of stealing. She said, with no evidence or anything, that since her daughter’s favourite doll was missing, it was obvious my daughter had stolen it since it was last at my house.
I asked my daughter, she said no and I believed her. She said she saw my niece leave with it and I believed her. I even searched my whole damn house and couldn’t find it. I told my sister all this and she said that my daughter is a liar and a thief and that I’m enabling her and she expects me to pay for a new doll.
I was so angry and incensed that she was being so nasty and horrible that I just said to her ‘my daughter is not a liar and thief and you know what? I’m done. Find someone else to babysit because it certainly won’t be me and hung up.’
I got 5 missed calls from Claire before I blocked her. She sent panicked messages and tried calling my husband and he blocked her too. We have learnt from my parents that Claire is panicking because she really needs help with the kids and I’m the only one with a sort of flexible routine to do so.
She also said that she had found her daughter’s doll, and said that things are okay now but not once has she offered any sort of apology for what she said about my kid.
My parents think I am screwing her over by not helping and that she made an honest mistake and is just stressed with everything due to her marriage split. They have said that perhaps I should take the higher ground and move on from this and don’t seem to understand that my kid was accused of something she didn’t do.
I see it as I don’t care if she’s sh*tty to me, but definitely if it’s about my kid and she hasn’t once said sorry for accusing my six year old daughter of being a thief. She disrespected my kid and no amount of bad situation or stress is preventing her from saying sorry and smoothing things over.
ETA: I should have added, my niece never said my daughter stole her doll. She just said something along the lines of ‘mummy I can’t find my doll’ and never said any other context to that. So my sister just assumed it meant my daughter stole it rather than believing it could have just been somewhere in her house.
I quit babysitting because she was rude, nasty and bitter and is expecting things to go back to normal just becauyse she found the doll. She isn’t admitting she messed up and I would be happy to babysit again but ONLY if she sincerely apologised, but she isn’t so here we are.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Djorgal
NTA. Your sister has yet to apologize for calling your daughter a liar and a thief without evidence. Not even after she found the doll, therefore evidence of your daughter's innocence...
'I should take the higher ground and move on.'
Why do people always put pressure to be the 'bigger man/woman' on the wronged party?
Due_Laugh_3852
'She also said that she had found her daughter’s doll, and said that things are okay now.'
No they aren't, not by a long shot. NTA
theitguy1968
NTA. Whatever the stress you don't take it out on someone who is doing you a favour. She accused your daughter of theft and lying. She has now found the Doll in her own house and has not apologised. Stay firm on this and don't agree to watch her brats again until she has apologised to you and your daughter.
The OP responded here:
blockedbabysitting
The sad thing is the kids aren’t even bratty at all. I love my niece and nephew and they get along so well with my daughter but I will NOT have anyone disrespect my kid at all.
YouthNAsia63
No apology from your sister, just an it’s ok, now, I found the doll, (after all), so let’s go back to the way it was? Lol. Yeaaa, you don’t get to fly off the handle at you like that and expect no repercussions. I wonder why she is getting divorced. Hmmm.
NTA for refusing to watch your sisters doll losing kids. But… if your sister grovels and apologizes, instead of pretending it didn’t happen-and putting this on you and sending flying monkeys after you, and why are you being mean to her, don’t you know she is desperate and nobody else can do it, and faaamily!?
I would reconsider. For the good of the kids. If you get a sincere apology. Because this is all her fault. Abd she damn well should apologize, to you. And your non doll stealing little girl, too.
Thanatofobia
NTA. She didn't ask if maybe your daughter took the doll by mistake, she went straight to 'she's a thief and a liar'. And no apology???
Man, if she had apologized and got your daughter a little gift to apologize, it would have been salvagable. As it is, don't babysit anymore. Stress and all that is no excuse for that type of behaviour towards your family.