My son is giving me a hard time about it, so I am writing here for different opinions. My son has been married for two years at this point. She and I get along as well as water and oil. I just keep my distance because I don’t like dealing with her.
She is a horrible picky eater. I don’t know why but truly I don’t care because she is a pain at restaurants. We try to go anywhere and we have to change places multiple times so she can have something to eat. She makes the waiters go through hoops so she will have something she likes and if anything is wrong she will bitch about it or pout in the corner.
Example: She got a quesadilla, with everything on it removed, and when it came out she sent it back because there was sour cream on the side. It wasn’t touching anything and she made a huge deal about her food being wrong. She doesn’t have allergies either.
What really made me dislike her is that she complained about the food at a funeral, they had a sandwich spread but she went on and on about how gross it was multiple times.
So, I had a dinner yesterday and I invited everyone but my sons wife ( son wasn’t invited either but he was on a business trip). My other DIL posted it online and I got a call from DIL. She was pi$$ed I didn’t invite her and she asked why. I told her it was due to her being an embarrassment at dinners and I won’t be inviting her anymore. She called me a jerk and hung up.
Now my son is livid with me and I am wondering if I should apologize or not. Also, I’m going to say it, it doesn’t matter if she has an eating disorder or is on the spectrum. Both those group know how to act at a funeral or restaurant. It may be harder but they can.
NTA why should you invite someone who will make you miserable.
I just could not deal with that nonsense. NTA.
NTA, as someone who is also a picky eater there is no reason for acting that way. I go out of my way to look at menus before going anywhere. I find something I can eat and know how it will need to be modified before ordering.
I try to be as clear as possible when asking for modifications and if somehow it's messed up I'm apologetic with staff when asking for it to be fixed. I understand I'm the difficult one in the situation and try to minimize the trouble to staff that my texture and food aversions can cause.
In the Spring I visited the DC area and while there arranged to meet a cousin for dinner. When they asked where I might like to go I let them know I had texture and food aversions and absolutely will not eat seafood.
That I generally have no problem ordering something I like at Italian, or Chinese restaurants. Or American fair or steakhouses. She sent me the link to a menu for one of their favorite places and asked if this place looked okay.
I saw a few things on the menu that looked good and would require no, or only a minor modification so they made a reservation. We had a wonderful dinner and my pickiness did not affect dinner in any way. It's totally possible to be a picky eater without acting like an asshole about it.
NTA, if she is this picky, she can bring her own food to dinners or restaurants. I have empathy for people with food sensitivity and/or allergies, but her behavior is childish and disruptive, which you don’t have to put up with and frankly, your son should be embarrassed.
NTA she's acting like a 5 year old child who doesn't want to eat broccoli 🥦 with cheese. But even then a 5 year old would still eat more than her. WTF does she even eat at home? A piece of white bread slapped in between two other pieces of white bread?
She has the most "just salt seasoning for my boiled chicken" type of appetite. She needs to grow up and actually eat something good rather than eat whatever bland wheaties stuff she has at home. And learn to not be a jerk in public, to waiters, or ruin other people's mood cause she's being all pouty.