Woman refuses to pay mom to babysit, 'you should WANT to spend time with your granddaughter.' AITA?
'AITAH for refusing to pay my mother to babysit my 8 year old daughter?'
getDoor21
My mother and I have a very good relationship. She has also babysat my daughter more times than I count for free. The only time I've ever paid her for babysitting was when I had to leave for a work trip or something of that sort and I need her to babysit my daughter for at least a week. The rate was $115/day, which I think is very reasonable.
Last week, I told my mother that I needed her to watch my daughter for a couple hours while I did some 'errands'. And she told me that she won't continue to babysit my daughter unless I start paying her for every hour, not just for the long trips.
I refused, because what kind of grandparent asks to be paid to watch their grandchild for a few hours? We got into a pretty heated argument and so I had to bring my daughter along with me, which was not great.
I couldn't find anyone else who was available to take her in and her father is not in the picture. He didn't want anything to do with our daughter and when we got divorced, the child support payments alone barely cover the bare necessities for her.
One of my friends who had met up with me asked why I brought her along, and when I told her that because I refused to pay my mother to babysit for just a few hours, I had noone else that I could hire and trust on such short notice.
She told me that I SHOULD pay my mother for babysitting everytime and not just for the work trips because the 'poor old woman is spending her time and energy on a kid at her age' which... I don't even know what that means.
I never recalled my grandmother asking to be paid to watch me. That wasn't even fathomable and she had babysat me until I was a teenager so I was pretty much aware. I don't know... Am I the a**hole?
To answer some questions, my mother is very well off. I only ask her to babysit once or twice a week at most, sometimes maybe only 2 times for a whole month. The rest of the time I pay a nanny to watch my daughter, but during the times she isn't available, I ask my mother. I'm also an only child. My mother is in her early 60s and she always enjoyed spending time with her granddaughter.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Lost-Mathematician85
YTA. You TOLD your mother she needed to watch your kid. No. You ask if she is available.
BallantyneR
So a couple of things could be happening here. Your mother may be having financial difficulties and needs the money, in which case she has every right to be compensated for her time, especially if she spends her own money on your child when babysitting.
Or, the more likely scenario is that you are asking for too much babysitting too often and your mother can't, or doesn't want to keep up with your demands. Ask yourself how much of her time your mother sacrifices for you each month so you can get a break.
Is it a reasonable amount, or are you taking advantage of a woman who has already raised her family and wants more time to herself? YTA regardless. You don't have a right to your mum's time. Looks like the easy ride is over for you...
SkirtLegitimath
I’m betting you aren’t telling us the whole story just based on the fact that you are so incredibly entitled.
ApprehensiveFisd
YTA it's your kid not your mothers. I'd say find a sitter in your neighborhood but you'd probably expect them to babysit for free as well.
ResurrectionScary
Wow, how absolutely full of shit you are to just presume on your mother's time. You literally said she's babysat your child more times than you can count, which absolutely means you are taking advantage of her.
Your 'errands' were obviously to go out and enjoy spending time with your friends. YTA. Pay people for their time, or do the work yourself. And you chose to have a kid that means it's YOUR job, not your mother's to manage her.
Bulky-Passenger-5284
'what kind of grandparent asks to be paid to watch their grandchild for a few hours?'
The kind that babysit for free and are tired of it.