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'My cousin's jealousy blew up in her face after she tried to seduce my husband.'

'My cousin's jealousy blew up in her face after she tried to seduce my husband.'

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"My cousin's jealousy blew up in her face."

Jaded_Foundation_910

My (28M) cousin "Mary" (22F) grew to be an extremely jealous person in her teens. We've all hoped she would grow out of it, but she hasn't. She refuses to address it.

When I proposed to my husband, "Sean", a couple years ago, Mary threw a fit. She wanted to be the first to get married between the two of us. She "deserved" it. She didn't even have a boyfriend.

Because Sean and I chose to have a small personal wedding, we were able to use money set aside for us to buy a home and pay off half the mortgage. Cue another tantrum from Mary despite the fact that there is money set aside for her too, including from our grandparents and aunt "Miranda" who chose not to have children.

I think you can get the picture here. If I have something Mary doesn't, she wants it. If I accomplish something before her, "it's not fair!" It doesn't matter if she's younger than me by 6 years and I would naturally reach some goals before her. There's just no logic in her tantrums.

This brings us to Miranda's annual New Year's party. There's always food, drinks, and games. It's a fun night where we can get wasted safely with family and friends if we want to, especially since there are no kids in the family at the moment.

When I was returning from the bathroom, I saw Sean looking extremely uncomfortable and trying to fend off Mary who was sitting much too close to him on the couch.

I managed to overhear her telling him that women are much better than men and insisting he try with her because he "didn't know what he was missing." Now, Sean is 100% gay, so this was just pathetic for her, but I was seeing red over the fact that she was attempting to ruin our marriage to satisfy her jealousy.

I said, "If women are so great then date a woman instead of trying to get my gay husband to sleep with you." The entire room heard this. I didn't control my volume. Party ruined.

The family has spared us from most of the chaos that followed, but today we found out that the money that was set aside for her is no longer for her. The tuition to pay for the remaining classes for her bachelor's degree has been refunded to our grandparents since spring classes haven't started yet.

All the money from her parents is going to her younger brother, and all the money from our grandparents and Miranda is going to be distributed between him and myself. She's getting nothing.

She's also been given 3 months to find a new place to live because her parents don't want her living under their roof. She was given a massive leg up, just like I was, and she talked herself out of it. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost. Okay, I don't.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

fleurdumal1111

Wow. Did no one ever try to parent her jealousy issues?

the_catalyst_analyst

"especially since there are no kids in the family at the moment."

Well, except for Mary. She's clearly not ready to leave the kids' table.

Diligent-Egg-

She didn't exactly "scr3w" her way out of it, but she sure af tried. With a happily married gay man, of all people. Lmao

DamnitGravity

Why do people always assume that suddenly taking away everything and turning their backs will somehow make a person better? All it does is foster resentment and cause the person to fall.

The family set her up for failure, and now she's just going to get worse. This is not a solution, this is just throwing away a person. Yeah, I'll get downvoted because I'm assuming this is a sub that cackles gleefully whenever someone suffers.

The OP commented here:

mermaidpaint

It's more like, we cackle when someone faces consequences for their terrible behaviour.

HeiressGoddess

This post is only a snippet of the story from one person's perspective. It can be really hard as the person grows older but not wiser. You might start to wonder if it's a personality disorder and not just a jealousy problem.

I grew up with a Mary. The Mary I know had been like this since Pre-K, with at least one incidence of malicious jealousy every few weeks. I call it malicious jealousy because Mary not only wants what you have, but she also wants to shame and punish you for 'wrongfully and unfairly' having it.

Example: I bought a house. Mary complained it wasn't fair. She was still in school, had no savings, lived with her parents, and never expressed a desire to move out. Mary not only believes she deserves my home instead of me, but she also wants for me to be homeless.

I witnessed plenty of people talk to Mary about this problem through the years. When someone else was her target, I told Mary that comparison to others isn't healthy and warned that she's alienating friends and family.

She posted on Facebook that I should've validated her and, by giving her advice, I must think I'm smarter and better than her. She was in her mid-twenties when this specific incident happened.

Mary refuses to seek professional help and truly believes everyone else is the problem. It seems she may have some narcissistic tendencies, if not a full-blown personality disorder. I've given up and am distancing myself for my own mental well-being.

I want to believe OP's family came at this rationally. It's a lot easier to believe there's one irrational person (Mary) that everyone else is reacting to rather than the whole family being irrational by not giving Mary any grace.

Maybe this is something that's been addressed before within the family by several relatives. Maybe they tried to give Mary the benefit of the doubt immediately after the party and asked if she had too much to drink, but Mary doubled-down once sober and in the following days.

Yeah, there's probably a better way than everyone turning their backs on Mary, but I can also see from the family's perspective of not wanting to enable her anymore. It's not really schadenfreude to want to see people being held accountable for their actions.

Personally, it's a reassurance that there's some justice, even if the world isn't always perfect or fair. Mary's actions here were disrespectful and almost hateful, for lack of a better word. Ten years is a long time for OP to be the object of such jealousy.

Plasmid_Vapor

I honestly wonder what goes through peoples heads sometimes. My sister who is 2 years younger then me did the same to my husband. Even before she had met him she stole my Instagram and tried to get my husband to break up with me.

But he quickly found out is wasn't me and told her off. And the first time she met my husband she wore a bath suit called it an outfit when it was 40 degrees outside and flirted super hard with my husband. My family ignored it l, and she has a boyfriend and daughter with him too.

My whole life she has kissed and tried sleeping with my boyfriends and crushes. She even spread rumors about me when some of her friends stopped hanging out with her and started hanging with me, I didn't want it to be like that.

I wanted to hang out with her to be closer, you know. And when I would try to talk to her about it she would scream that I took her friends and the guys SHE liked. I don't understand.

So, do you think the OP's family overreacted? Why do you think his cousin would act this way? What is her endgame?

Sources: Reddit
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