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'AITA for asking my wife and daughter to leave if they don't want to reside with my son?'

'AITA for asking my wife and daughter to leave if they don't want to reside with my son?'


"AITA for asking my wife and daughter to leave the house if they don't want to reside with my son?"


My wife Rachel (35 F) and I (35 M) have been married for many years now, and I also have a daughter Lia (14 F). I am not proud to admit it, but I had another child while I was married to Rachel through another relationship. That's Aiden (12 M).

I kept it as a secret from them, and I paid child support to her mother. I was meeting absolutely all of their expenses. She herself had a good job anyway. She passed away recently, and Aiden was alone.

I did not want my son to suffer like that, without any parents. The reason I did not reveal his identity to Rachel and Lia is that I did not want to cause a fight, but now I had no choice. I went through all the proper procedures to get custody of Aiden. I made him live in my house.

My wife and Lia did not take it well. They went absolutely ballistic when they learned about him, and Rachel screamed about how I shouldn't even dare to think of letting him take even a step inside. Lia was saying the same stuff. But I did not back down, and they eventually had to be fine with the decision.

They have been absolutely livid about it, and Rachel has been demanding to get Aiden away from the house. I told her that I am not going to do that, and warned her against doing anything to him.

Lia got mad and asked me whether I value "someone who was born out of a wh0rr3", and I lost my temper. I got up and asked them to "get the FFF out of my house" if they do not want to reside with Aiden. In the end Rachel was crying and they're not talking to me now. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


YTA. Give her a divorce and let her move on with this horrible part of her life. I don’t think you know how badly you destroy people when you cheat some of them never recover again to be able to love. Some even commit suicide this is despicable behavior. And frankly give her a divorce and let her go.

Leave your wife and your daughter in the house and go find an apartment for you and he kicking her out is ridiculous. She didn’t do anything you did you did it all. YTA.

What’s more she had zero time to prepare no backward information. All of this is a shock to your wife. How you can even be so angry with her is beyond me. I’m sure that you are affair partner had family and people this boy could live with. you, were sabotaging your marriage, and your whole life for a child who created out of wedlock.

I would first look for other family members that can take him in and if you have to find an apartment for he and you. And divorce your wife so she can move on from this and try to recover.


He also fooled her into thinking he was a half decent person. If she'd known what garbage she was married to 12 years ago, she could have divorced him then and maybe built a nice life with someone who actually loves her. He stole a decade of her life because "he didn't want to start a fight", which actually means "he didn't want her to know what kind of man she was married to".


He didn't really want to face the full consequences of his actions. He did the minimum in acknowledging Aiden and paying child support,but never fully owned up to everything until he absolutely had to. He's a coward.


YTA. This Situation your family is in is your fault YOU cheated on your wife. YOU kept it a secret and now YOU sprung a secret like this on them with no warning and now they have to live with a stranger and treat him like a son/brother with 0 adjustment time.

Resentment and anger is to be expected. You need to give them time to get used to the situation at hand. You stepped out on your marriage and now your putting your secret son at a higher priority than your wife and daughter? Father and husband of the year.

You should have integrated the son into your family’s life, not catapulted in this huge curveball and said “if you don’t like it leave.” And you know who your son is going to blame for the scorn he gets from his sister? You, the person who is to blame. Congrats on Alienating your whole family.


YTA. You boned another woman while married, got her pregnant, then lied to your wife for 12 years about it (it's called lying through omission). You didn't want to start a fight?How'd that work out? Hope you enjoy being a divorced dad. Wife will probably leave you for good and daughter will probably go no contact. Deservedly so. You sound vile.


If you had been honest from the very beginning, it would have been better for everyone. I feel so sorry for your wife and Lia. They were completely blindsided, and you're prancing about like 'how dare you not want to live with my affair child you only just found out about'.

As if finding out you cheated wasn't bad enough, they didn't even have time to take a breath before you forced Aiden into their lives. But I also feel sorry for Aiden.

You dropped that poor kid like a bomb on your family, and he'll have to suffer the repercussions of something that isn't his fault. He probably feels so small right now. And it's all your fault. You're really something. YOU should be the one to leave the house. YOU are the problem. YTA.

The OP provided a brief update after reviewing the comments from readers.


EDIT: No, I don't want Lia absent from my life. And Aiden is also "my own son". I have the right to bring him to my house as his father. For those who're gleefully saying that they hope Rachel divorces me: I'd rather have Aiden in my house than to live with Rachel (or Lia) without him.

I am rich, and I can make my own path & find another wife if I want to. Absolutely nothing justifies calling her mother a "w%#re" like Lia did. Using that language absolutely blames him, his mother, and is ostracism. And yes, it is my house. It's theirs as well, but not legally. I own it. Yes, I gave them time to process it, I did not bring Aiden in all of a sudden. Just to clarify.

So, do you think the OP is completely out of line here or are they trying to bring a broken family together?

Sources: Reddit
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