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Man calls his brother a 'nepo baby' when he refuses to help wife with cancer. AITA?

Man calls his brother a 'nepo baby' when he refuses to help wife with cancer. AITA?


"AITA for calling my brother a nepo baby after he refused to let me know if i was going to lose my job?"


my (m35) older brother Ty, (m42), is a very senior member of the company for which i work. I won’t mention the name or the service because it’s very specific and i don’t want this traced back to me.

My company struggled a lot during COVID, and many people were laid off. Money and staff troubles have really affected our business, and i have really struggled with anxiety over being made redundant.

My wife (f31) was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer one year ago. she obviously hasn’t been working due to her treatment, so i am the sole provider for our family of four. My brother had been very unsupportive during this tough time and hadn’t understood the pressure that this put on me, saying that i just needed to work harder.

Recently, rumors of the company shutting down have been circulating at work. this would be a serious issue, as i already make barely enough to cover the medical bills for my wife’s treatment. So, to soothe my nerves, i went to ask my brother for a confirmation of whether the branch was shutting down or not.

He flat out refused to say whether or not my job was safe and told me that just because my wife is sick doesn’t mean i get special treatment, i just have to wait and see with the rest of the employees.

Our parents had always favoured him, and he had been given this position through my dads guidance, whereas I had to join at an entry level position. I called him a nepo baby AH, and told him that he was only successful because he was our parents favourite, and he would never understand how difficult it was to be the sole provider for a sick wife and two young girls.

Now, my entire family is calling me TAH because of what i said to him, and that i should’ve just waited to hear with the rest of the employees and not asked for special treatment. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


Really OP? You didn't consider the no-answer is absolutely an answer? Yes, the branch is most likely closing. If it wasn't, the answer from any exec/senior would be "that's just an unfounded rumor, you have nothing to worry about". That's always how it goes.

Actually, that's probably the scripted answer for most people even if the branch's closing, so your brother was trying to give you a hint. You may or may not be routed to another branch, that's what he can't confirm (though with this attitude... yeah).

Start looking for a new job. Like yesterday. Too bad you damaged your bridge with the "very senior" brother who could have helped hold your position or find a new one somewhere else... I'd start apologising if I were you.

Edit for judgement: YTA.


OP is refusing to read between the lines, and the non-answer should be answer enough. Time to read the room and look for a job outside your family. Good luck, but YTA.


YTA. You do appear to be the one asking for special treatment (early information) based on your relationship with him. That would make YOU the nepo baby, would it not?


ESH - Honestly you probably should have known he can't/won't tell you (either because he'd be violating privacy - that sort of information is VERY closely guarded and giving you a heads up could easily cost him his job).

He's also an asshole for how he handled it. He could have been empathetic and explained he can't - but telling you to wait like everyone else is pretty callous. I'm sorry the past year has been so rough and I hope your wife is doing okay. Remember - when in never hurts to be looking and you can always use that as a reason why you're looking in the job hunt.


Yta for your reaction. He is doing the right thing by keeping his mouth shut. And if its a publicly traded company. Leaking insider trading news can be a huge problem for him. If word got out what was happening cause you cant keep your mouth shut. Its on him for telling you. No job is secure. Plan accordingly.


Does your dad have some sort of pull with the company you didn’t mention? Your dad just giving your brother more guidance wouldn’t make him nepo baby.


First thing I thought as well. Unless it’s his father’s company.. or somehow his father has a significant influence in it.. he can’t be a nepo baby just for being introduced to the company.


YTA. I understand the pressure you must be under if you're questioning your future and your wife is sick, however you are the one asking for nepo privileges at this point.

No one else would have the opportunity to ask their brother to give them the heads up about their job. It truly wouldn't be fair to others if you got inside information and got to jump ship before they knew their jobs were in danger.

So, if you could give your opinion to the OP, what would you tell them?

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