Man demands struggling in-laws pay for his glasses their son broke. AITA?
'AITA for asking BIL & SIL to compensate me after their son broke my glasses even though they're going through a tough time?'
For context: My fiancee's brother (BIL) and SIL have recently started the divorce process after he caught her cheating. They are co-living with their son in their home as neither of them can afford to move out.
In addition, my BIL has recently been made redundant, so he currently doesn't have any income. SIL is choosing to be petty (which is completely out of her character), such as refusing to talk to BIL unless it's about their son, expecting BIL to take care of himself financially, and talking behind BIL's back to make BIL seem like the bad guy in the marriage.
My fiancee (27M) and I (25F) went to his brother's house for a regular family gathering. At every gathering, the adults sit and chat together while the kids play together. BIL & SIL's son (call him 'Aiden') was kicking a ball around the house. Despite being told multiple times by both BIL and SIL to not kick the ball inside the house, he continued to do so.
At some point, I got up and while I was walking from the table to the bathroom, Aiden ended up kicking the ball and knocked my glasses off my face. As a result, my glasses fell to the ground and broke. Both BIL and SIL felt bad, apologised, and offered to pay for the glasses repairs whilst also making Aiden apologise to me for breaking my glasses.
The next day, I went to the optometrist, who told me that it wasn't possible to repair the glasses, and they had to be replaced. The replacement glasses ended up costing $200, which I had to pay out of pocket (since I don't have insurance). I sent the invoice bill to my BIL (since I do not have SIL's phone number) and he paid the money.
When my fiancee found out that BIL sent me the money, my fiancee got upset at me for 'making BIL's situation worse' and having no empathy for him since he is going through a divorce and is unemployed.
I argued back saying that I am also unemployed since I have finished my studies and I am in the process of finding work, and I do not have a lot of savings and I'm not sure how long it will last until I get a job (especially in this economy) so I cannot bite the bullet and pay for the glasses that got broken by Aiden.
Fiancee asked me to refund the money back to BIL and that he will happily foot the $200 bill for him.
I may be the asshole here because I did not take into account of BIL and SIL's situation when asking them to pay for my replacement glasses. Before the discussion with my fiancee, I believed that it was only fair that BIL and SIL reimburse me for my glasses since their son broke it (even if it was accidental).
I'm struggling with this dilemma and hoping to get some unbiased perspectives here on who should I let foot the bill, and I would also appreciate some advice on what I should do here.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA they didn't take control of their child's behavior and their negligence had consequences. You and BIL handled it like mature adults. Your partner needs to stay out of it. It's done.
If he’s so hung up about giving the money back, he can just give his brother the $200.
Why have that extra step in there when he could just skip straight to giving the money to his brother himself? Unless he’s going to stiff OP once she’s returned the money, with the excuse of “you should never have asked for the money in the first place.”
If your fiance is willing to foot the bill then let him send the money to his brother. I can almost guarantee you that if you return the money to his brother then he is going to find excuses not to pay you. As to the original question, my judgment is NTA since they are responsible for what their kid broke.
NTA. I'm sorry how is their divorce your problem in this situation or any situation?
Their child broke something. They pay. The end. No guilt trip necessary.
The OP responded here:
The divorce concerns my fiance because he cares a lot about his brother (my BIL) who had no fault in the divorce, and feels sorry about the emotionally and financially tough time his brother is going through. Fiance doesn't want to make the situation any more stressful than it should be for his brother.
If it was a stranger's kid that broke my glasses, I'm sure my fiance wouldn't have cared about the stranger's situation and still expected them to pay for my glasses.
They aren't seeing you aren't in a position to pay for the glasses yourself.
Both parties are putting emotion into it where there doesn't need to be.
Stick with facts. Neither party has money. One party has a child. Said child broke glasses even though it was an accident, glasses were broken. That party should pay for the glasses.
Facts, not feelings.