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Man's BIL tries to get him fired, so he retaliates by ruining his wedding photos. AITA?

Man's BIL tries to get him fired, so he retaliates by ruining his wedding photos. AITA?


"My BIL tried to get me fired, so I 'ruined' his wedding photos."

This actually happened about 4 years ago. At the time I was married to my now ex-wife. Her sister “Alice” was getting married to “Roger”. But let’s backtrack a bit so I can set the scene, it’s a bit long but bear with me, friends.

I’d had a storied past with Roger and we did not care for each other in the least, to put it mildly. He was (is) a compulsive liar, mooch, and cheat; and had pretty much alienated Alice from most of her friends and family.

He and I had a falling out over all this where I called him out on all his BS. In revenge, he said a lot of really horrible lies about me to the family and then did his very best to try and get me fired from my job as well as some other things I can’t discuss. Really evil s@*t.

As a result, we had to pay a lawyer to send him a cease and desist letter and we went NC with either of them. I wouldn’t even be in the same building with him, for any reason, including birthdays, Christmas, etc…

After a few years, I was still NC with either of them (my wife would talk to her sister occasionally which didn’t really bother me) but I came under a lot of pressure from my in-laws to normalize things somewhat. You know, for the “good of the family”.

Now, I got along great with my in-laws and it was really important to them so I gave it a shot. I would basically be at an event with them but wouldn’t socialize or engage with either of them.

A few months later they announce their engagement and begin planning the wedding. My wife was to be MOH and our kids (6 and 4) would be flower girl and ring bearer.

Now, I was absolutely NOT in the wedding party (this you must understand) and I was perfectly ok with that. As the planning continues, I get word that Roger would like to “buy me a suit” as his way of making amends and so I wouldn’t have to pack a suit of my own.

I had plenty of suits so this was a really odd request but he comes from some money and said it was his way of trying to make amends for all the BS in the past. Whatever, fine, I’ll go along.

I sent my measurements over along with my son’s for the wedding planner. The wedding was in a different state so I wouldn’t be able to see the suit until we picked it up a day before the wedding.

This concerned me along with his insistence that I wouldn’t have to bring a suit so I packed my own suit as well - a nice charcoal grey 2 piece with white shirt and blue tie.

We fly into the state, check into our hotel, and I head to the haberdasher to pick up the suits along with my son and FIL (also not in the wedding party but also getting a suit). Turns out Roger hadn’t bought us suits but had actually rented us the same cream colored tuxedos as his side of the wedding party.

Basically trying to dress us up like the groomsmen despite not being in the wedding. I immediately saw why he didn’t want me to pack a suit and had a good laugh at it, but said nothing and let him think he got over on me. My wife also found this quite hilarious and there we formulated our plan.

The day of the wedding, everyone got dolled up in their wedding kits (champagne dresses and cream tuxedos) and me - in my charcoal grey suit. When Roger saw me, he was cordial but looked a bit irked.

I found out through the grapevine he was absolutely livid I didn’t wear the tux. Which, frankly, made my day.

Now for the absolute best part, and cue the petty revenge: The pictures. Because I was “close” family, I was included in a lot of pictures by default but my wife, bless her heart, made a point of pulling me into almost every picture she was able to.

When the pictures came back, it was amazing. In at least 60% of the pictures, I was in there somewhere and stood out like a sore thumb. 8-10 people all dressed the same in cream and white and me, in my almost black suit.

Alice was so beyond p*ssed she had a near meltdown and insisted that everyone get together to re-take the pictures “the right way” which of course didn’t happen as this was 3 months after the wedding. So, yeah. Enjoy your wedding album with it’s almost perfect color scheme and coordination.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


I can't put my finger on it, but something about this story seems a little off color. I can almost picture it . . .

It's so funny reading your pre-wedding setup. It's just so obvious that he's trying to stage-manage the scene, and that he's brewing up a plan that - in his own mind - nobody will ever be able to figure out. 'Too smart by half' as my dear grandmother would say.


My dear grandmother (dead now) used to say that too. I never realized it was an insult until now. Being a math brain I thought it meant 150% smart. Good one Granny.


Man they sound like a real piece of work. I'm surprised they did try and sue


So good! I was afraid you weren’t going to bring a suit with you. Whew.


I get you guys had a bad history but I don’t really get how trying to include you in coordinating with the family/bridal party was an insult to you, kind of seems like it was an olive branch that you purposely threw back in their faces…Idk maybe I’m missing something.


I thought you were going to say it was some hideous purple velvet suit or something. Good thing you brought an extra, just in case.


The thing that strikes me is that Roger didn't just say 'hey, we're going for a matching color scheme and are providing the suits'. If he'd done that and OP pulled their move, they could've portrayed themselves the wounded party. What was the goal, exactly? Make the wedding party look bigger than it was?


I‘m honestly am not sure what the problem was that he wanted everyone in the family to match for the photos. Especially if he is paying for it. What’s the big deal?

So, do you think this was petty move or really just a normal choice that didn't really 'ruin' the wedding?

Sources: Reddit
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