'AITA for not giving my sister my baby?' They say 'she deserves it more.' UPDATED

"AITA for not giving my sister my baby?"

Guilty-Schedule-7886

I am aware how insane this title is but hear me out. It’s me F28, my husband Lucas (39) and my younger half sister (dads side) Lia (24).

My husband and I met through work 5 years ago but didn’t date right away, we tied the knot by eloping two years ago. As I predicted, Lia would caused wedding drama. Lia herself had a failed engagement 1 year ago, we gave her our condolences but she said if I really cared I would stop wearing my engagement ring around her, flaunting it.

I obviously did not take it off, it’s a vintage ring that is an heirloom in Lucas’s family. I’m now 5 months pregnant with a baby girl, she wasn’t planned but she’s a very welcome surprise. Lucas is so excited to be a girl dad it’s very funny.

Ever since I announced my pregnancy, it wasn’t a fancy thing just over dinner, Lia has been very snippy and standoffish with me. Fine, it didn’t really effect me, we’re not close.

But then I noticed when we’d go to visit my dad, or were at family gatherings she’d very touchy with Lucas. She giggles at every joke he makes. It doesn’t really bother me, I’m secure in my marriage and if anything it makes her look silly.

We had a ‘blended’ family event with both mom and dad's side and we were discussing baby names when Lia freaked out screeching at me that she's the one who deserves a husband and a baby not me. She said I never wanted marriage or kids (I was focused on getting a career). And stormed off.

Later on my dad and his wife said she shouldn’t have shouted but I was flaunting my marriage and pregnancy when I know she had a failed engagement and had always wanted a baby.

I thought that was it but yesterday the three of them asked to talk and they came over to ours and they legitimately asked if I would give Lia my baby. Like they weren’t joking they said it seriously.

They said she deserved it more than me as she wouldn’t neglect being a mother for a career. Lucas was stunned but then promptly got them out of our house. I heard Lia clinging to his arm telling him she could be a good SAHM.

My mom and her side of the family are furious. Lia’s mom said it was malicious of me to tell my mom's family and that I had really upset Lia when we eloped so I had to make it up to her and that my mom doesn’t get a say. What the actual f*ck??

EDIT: just to address some things, yes unfortunately this is real and it happens often, look up the case of Taylor Parker. This whole thing is really stressful. I’m immune compromised so I’m really feeling run down and have to be careful. Lastly Lucas is actually Swedish so that is an option to those of you who have suggested moving.

Here were the top rated comments from readers after this initial post:

CreedTheDawg

Your sister and her mother are certifiably insane. You need to remove them from your life, because they might decide to take your baby if you stay in contact.

Accomplished-Ad3250

I agree. Is there a cultural aspect at play here? It's just hard to understand how her parents, sister, and family all want them to give up the baby to a single mother, of which I can presume has no job or financial support outside of her parents.

violet_rain_clouds

No, from the SAHM comment she wants Lucas too!

shoujikinakarasu

Don’t let this become a true crime story, OP 😨 I think you and your husband (and your mom, and all her relatives are the sane ones here, and I would strongly enforce boundaries/go very low contact with anyone in your family who would try to steal your baby from you- or even suggest it!

I expect once your baby is born more of those mama-bear feelings will get activated- put security cameras and logging everything on your list of baby proofing your house. Let your local friends and neighbors know if there are ever any shenanigans/things to watch out for. The key is not to be paranoid, but build the kind of boundaries and monitoring of them that means you don’t have to be.

A few weeks later, the OP returned with an update.

"AIW for not giving my sister my baby? (Update)"

Guilty-Schedule-7886

Hi guys. Just wanted to give y’all an update as you asked for it. I saw it made it onto a TikTok podcast which was amusing! If someone wants to pass them this update along please do.

Point 1, obviously I’m not actually asking if I should give Lia my baby. I was venting, sorry if I put it in the wrong sub.

Lucas and I are in Sweden right now on vacation and have explored the possibility of moving here. He works for a Swedish company in the US anyway, so it would just be a case of moving and my work is fluid. I can pickup a job in most countries.

I’ve asked my mom if she would think about coming with us, we would help set her up and make sure she was looked after and this way she can see her grand baby whenever rather than being an ocean apart. Lia is fuming apparently, sulking and being an all round awful person!

Here were the top rated comments after this latest update:

jackofslayers

I missed the last thread but I want to back up what others are saying. Cut your sister, your dad, and stepmom out of your life completely.

They sound dangerous and you need to protect your child.

Own_Presentation6561

I just read your first post and holy crap, there are entitled sisters and there is her in her own world with parents who are just as ducking nuts as she is.how could your father ask you that he deserves a punch in the face or a swift kick to the balls, for even thinking this.

Well done Grandpa of the year who will now never see his granddaughter because they cave to her every whim. Op I hope you're mum moves with you all and stay away from the nut jobs good luck with your baby girl and good luck in your move you with your husband.

doglover507071956

If you have anything in writing and even if you don’t I would still go down and file a report With the police I know they won’t do anything however just to protect yourselves report it maybe even think about getting a restraining order this is scary.

Novel_Piglet9724

Moving is the best option. Your dad side is truly trash and will hurt you to help her. You need to cut communication completely.

Slutlala

That chick has wanted your husband for god knows how long, and that’s probably what she means about you wearing your ring around her. It f*cks up her delusion that your husband is available to her. You and your man f*cking off to Sweden has to be absolutely EATING her hateful a** up and I am here for it. Live y’all’s best life as Swedes!!!

Purple_Commission_27

I found your post through someone reading/reacting to it on tiktok. PLEASE for the sake of you, your family and your safety, please move if you are able. I hope your mom goes with you, but I honestly believe you and your baby will be in danger if you stay. Please cut contact with these TERRIBLE people and go have the happy and healthy life you deserve. 💛