I (29 F) and husband (30 M) spend a lot of holidays with his family. I love his family and never get into fights or arguments. Last year, around Halloween, I was 9 months pregnant and ask my husband if it would be okay to make plans earlier at the end of September for the yearly pumpkin patch with his family, just in case I went into labor.
We have two other kids and I wanted to make sure they were a part of the pumpkin patch before the new baby arrived. My husband's sister made a big deal about going early. On that weekend Saturday her daughter has soccer it was just too much for one day. Okay, so we said how about Sunday. That worked. A week before we went his sister now said her son has a birthday party he needed to go to.
So, we said we will go earlier in the day. A day before she cancels completely because waking her daughter up two days in a row wasn't going to work and they would go to the pumpkin patch without the family. They told us to still go without them. My husband's mother got so mad she canceled the whole thing and none of his family went with us.
We still went because I wanted my kids to go, and we even invited his mother, but she said it wasn't fair for her to come with us and not the other grandkids. I was upset over this because we don't ever plan anything and always make plans work with his family no matter what and they couldn't, for one holiday, work with us.
After that all went down his mother said it's just too hard to make plans with all her kids and their families. So, she said that around Halloween she is just going to spend time with the grandkids next year. Fast forward to his year, I made plans with my family to go to the pumpkin patch.
I talked to my mom in July about going with us and she was so happy. She has never been to a pumpkin patch before. We made plans for the last day in September, just like the year before.
Well, a week before, my mother-in-law messages the group chat saying they are doing the yearly pumpkin patch the last weekend of September and asked if we could all go then. Of course, his sister said yeah they could go with no excuses this year.
I was livid. I told my husband we are not going to two pumpkin patches in the same weekend and he agreed. He told his mom we are not going because of last year. His mom was fine but made the comment she better not see my mom posting pictures on Facebook going with us. My husband left out the part to his mother that my mom was going.
We went to the pumpkin patch and everything was fine until my mom posted pictures on Facebook. Later that night ,my husband gets cussed out by his mother because we went with my mom. She goes on to say how she doesn't understand how we could go with my mom when it's her tradition to do the pumpkin patch every year.
She continues to say how she just knew this was going to happen when he got with me. She removed/ blocked us from Facebook and now isn't talking to us. So AITA for not going to her pumpkin patch? Should I have went to keep the peace?
NTBA your MIL is the spoiled rotten apple and someone needs to set up boundaries and stop letting her and SIL manipulate things if they don’t go their way. Stop letting those two dictate you life. Life’s too short to argue over something so petty.
ROTTEN to the CORE. NTA. Your MIL is a JustNo and I wouldn’t give a damn if she blocked me. In fact, I’d celebrate it!
I'd make a FB post saying;..... "Awww my MIL blocked me because my mom went to the pumpkin patch with us. So Sad... NOT!"
But I'm petty like that.
NTA, spend more holidays with your mom, she seems to be easy to be around and drama free. Feel free to post as many happy pics as you like. Your MIL does not own you or your family.
NTBA oh boy your MIL is a piece of work. She won't go alone with you guys because the whole family can't be there, but she will go without you guys and gets pissy when you go with your mom. Glad your hubs has your back on this because her main character syndrome is showing.
Your MIL is acting like a four year old. She doesn't get to control every aspect of your life. Why on earth is your mom not allowed to do things with you? That's disgustingly selfish. Considering no one was willing to go with you last year, they have NO right saying anything. She's the one who broke her own stupid tradition last year, so if she wants to blame someone, she needs to look in a mirror.
Why can everyone else decide when things are allowed to happen, but you and your husband get no say? It's extremely unfair. You and your husband need to just start your own "traditions" with your kids and stop worrying about anyone else.