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Postpartum wife says, 'I'm not cooking for your parents; they ate all my chowder.' AITA?

Postpartum wife says, 'I'm not cooking for your parents; they ate all my chowder.' AITA?


"AITA for refusing to cook dinner for my in laws after my husband gave his mom all of my left overs?"


I'm 3 months PP but for the most part it doesn't really affect me. Our daughter is a super easy going baby so my healing process was smooth sailing. I've been up and doing my "pre-baby" routines since maybe a month after I gave birth.

With that said, I still get super tired and I still have PP anger that randomly spikes whenever my breast milk drops (DMER) so maybe I'm being too harsh here. Two days ago I made a huge corn chowder.

It took me at least 4 hrs between prep and cook. I have been craving this since maybe 2 weeks after I gave birth and though my husband said he would make it for me, I always declined the offer.

I wanted to do it myself because to be blunt, his cooking isn't great. Edible but not great. So, I wanted to make it and I made it 2 days ago. I made so much. The mid sized stock pot was up to the top. I have been eating it since I made it for pretty much every meal and I wasn't even remotely sick of it. Not that it matters.

But anyway, last night I had more of it and I transferred what was left in to a small Tupperware container. I had between 15-20 cups left (the Tupperware has measuring on the side). Enough for about 10 bowls anyways.

Well, my husband made plans with his parents a few days ago to come over for dinner tonight and he asked me to make a ham dinner. I don't eat ham but had no problem with this because I had corn chowder left. MIL and FIL showed up around 11am this morning to hang out for the day. I end up running to the store to get other stuff I need to make for dinner.

Well, when I got back home my MIL says "that corn chowder was delicious, you'll have to give me the recipe". I said "aww thank you", whatever. I figured she ate one bowl. But I go to the kitchen to drop off the groceries and the Tupperware holding the corn chowder is in the sink. I checked the fridge to see if it was moved to a smaller container, nope. It's gone.

They ate all of it. I called my husband in to the room and asked him where all my chowder was and he goes "sorry, I offered mom and dad a bowl of it and my mom polished off the entire thing." So I go "there was easily enough for 10 bowls in there.

There's no way in the world she just ate all of it." And he just shrugged and said "no, she really did. Dad only had one bowl." So I asked why he didn't stop her and he said he felt bad because she enjoyed it so much and acted like she was starving.

I told him in not making dinner tonight. He can. I told him it was fucked up that he would give away that much food, knowing I cooked it specifically because I wanted it and saw me plugging away at it for 2 days.

Besides that, there's no way that woman is still hungry after that. He says that he can't make the ham dinner because it will come out like garbage (true) but I told him that's not my problem and to tell his parents that I'm not feeling well and I'm going to go hang out in the babies nursery because of how upset I am. He says I'm overreacting.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


NTA his family already ate lunch at your house & devoured 10 servings of soup. WTF aren’t they offering to bring dinner to you?? You are the one who just had a baby! And it ham for dinner. You just warm it up. It’s not an elaborate gourmet meal. I’m sure he can handle it.


Yup! 325 degrees for 18 minutes a pound. Easy peasy. It's already cooked and just needs warming.


NTA - OPs hubby is just not a smart man. Wife is 4mo PP - What idiot invites his parents to come over at 11am to stay the day, expects her to cook, doesn’t have the decency to text her re the chowder, allows his parents to eat all of the chowder KNOWING she doesn’t eat ham, and then thinks it’s a good idea to tell her that she is overreacting?! OP - you married a moron, hope your child takes after you!


"I can't do it, it'll come out like garbage."

He can't follow a recipe? Can he follow clear instructions at his work? Don't let him get away with this weaponised incompetence. He just doesn't want the responsibility of having to cook. Even while you're in PP, even when cooking something for his parents.


NTA. It took you two days to make it, you're postpartum, and he knows you don't eat ham! And who th offers someone else's food to another person, when they didn't make it, and watches them eat ten bowls in a row until it's all gone?!

I always ask my husband if he has plans for the leftovers. It's called common courtesy and being a good partner. I find it hilariously hypocritical that he says you're overreacting by not cooking, but then freaks out and says HE obviously can't cook for them. Edit: Misunderstood “plugging away at it for two days.”


NTA. But I wouldn't hide. I would tell them that because hubby let them eat ALL 20 cups of the soup he knew you had specially made not only for tonight since you don't eat ham but also to eat the next few days because you have been craving it, he will now be making their dinner. And you will be resting for the remainder of the evening.

That's a shit ton of soup. It was really greedy on their end as well, so don't feel bad for any discomfort you may cause them. They should feel bad. They wanted ham, so they sent you out to get it and cook it even though they know you don't eat it? Monsters.

So, do you think the OP is being overly dramatic here? What would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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