Wedding fallout escalates when bride's cousin is accused of ruining her honeymoon. AITA?
"AITAH for "ruining" my cousin's honeymoon?"
Defiant-Duck9439
This is my first AITA post, and I need some perspective. I (28F), and my cousin, K (27F), recently had a New Year's wedding. I own a beachside condo inherited from a different grandmother than the one K and I share. While fixing it up a couple of years ago, K would visit occasionally, we’d hang out, laugh, and play on the beach. Now it is a relatively popular Airbnb.
The issue started when, three months before the wedding, my family learned we weren't invited. This strained our relationship, as we were the only ones excluded. K believed we weren’t there for her childhood and that we were practically "strangers" to her.
For a quick reference, my dad’s side lives in another state than we do. My dad moved away after marrying my mom to her home state which is where we all currently reside. We visited them every year (except this past one for obvious reasons) for the holidays and we talked to them via phone a lot. So, we are not the typical forgetful long-distance family.
Hurt, I texted her, canceling the condo as a wedding gift due to the lack of an invite. She called me back and insisted it was her gift, but I argued that only invited guests give gifts and I don’t give "strangers" free stays at my Airbnb. We never spoke again after this.
The wedding happened, and I received a call from my Airbnb renters reporting a random couple claiming to have booked the condo. Airbnb doesn't allow double bookings.
My doorbell camera revealed it was K and her husband. I called K several times, who did not answer. Unable to reach K, I informed my aunt about our conversation. She called K, who didn't answer again.
Later that evening, I called to check up on my renters and they said they had to involve the police, resulting in K and her husband being escorted away. Luckily they were not arrested as the police claimed that if they left willingly they would leave this as a “misunderstanding.”
Now K wants to talk, bombarding me with messages, labeling me an a-hole, expressing happiness at my absence from the wedding, and claiming I ruined her honeymoon. Unknowingly to my family, she got some heat for not inviting us to the wedding already. And she felt like that was punishment enough.
Was I petty, yes. But am I the a-hole? I am not so sure. My family doesn’t think I did anything wrong as I informed K beforehand. But our relatives have differing opinions saying that I should have just let it go in the first place since I promised this to her.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
YomiKuzuki
"The issue started when, three months before the wedding, my family learned we weren't invited. This strained our relationship, as we were the only ones excluded. K believed we weren’t there for her childhood and that we were practically "strangers" to her..."
"Hurt, I texted her, canceling the condo as a wedding gift due to the lack of an invite. She called me back and insisted it was her gift, but I argued that only invited guests give gifts and I don’t give "strangers" free stays at my Airbnb. We never spoke again after this."
That's well within your rights. She called you "practically a stranger". Well, like you said, why would you let a stranger stay at your airbnb for free?
"The wedding happened, and I received a call from my Airbnb renters reporting a random couple claiming to have booked the condo. Airbnb doesn't allow double bookings. My doorbell camera revealed it was K and her husband. I called K several times, who did not answer."
"Unable to reach K, I informed my aunt about our conversation. She called K, who didn't answer again. Later that evening, I called to check up on my renters and they said they had to involve the police, resulting in K and her husband being escorted away. Luckily they were not arrested as the police claimed that if they left willingly they would leave this as a 'misunderstanding.'"
So, after being told they couldn't use it, they trespassed, ignored your calls, and only left because it was either leave willingly or get arrested.
"Now K wants to talk, bombarding me with messages, labeling me an a-hole, expressing happiness at my absence from the wedding, and claiming I ruined her honeymoon. Okay, well you're unwelcome on my property permanently now."
"Unknowingly to my family, she got some heat for not inviting us to the wedding already. And she felt like that was punishment enough."
She's lucky she didn't get arrested.
"But our relatives have differing opinions saying that I should have just let it go in the first place since I promised this to her."
"Would you lend out your car to a complete stranger? Would you allow a complete stranger to live alone in your home for a week or more? No? Because that's what she claimed I was." NTA. Cut contact with her.
Cezzium
NTA. You were certainly *there* for her to gift her a fabulous place to honeymoon. There is something K is not saying - jealousy or something else. It makes little sense to not include you in a wedding that was probably already costing $$$, and yet expect a prezzie. Serious Entitlement.
Infamous_Anything_67
NTA. You gave her advance notice, which she chose to ignore and she bothered your paying customers. You didn't ruin anything. I hate to hate but she sounds awful.
Johnny-Fakehnameh
Uh NTA. Like you said, gifts come from guests. She wanted your gift without your presence. YOU didn't ruin her honeymoon, but SHE ruined your B&B guests vacation. I'd bet my life savings that she didn't tell her fiancé/husband before hand either. SHE called you a stranger. Wear this incident as a badge of pride for standing up for yourself. You are 100% in the right.
External_Expert_2069
I don’t think you were petty at all. The airbnb makes you money. You were going to take a hit to give her this gift. She make it clear what she thinks of you and your family. SHE STILL SHOWED UP AFTER YOU TOLD HER YOU CANCELLED HER STAY. Who does that??? NTA.