Sis mocks 'virgin' brother at family gathering, so big bro shares HER past. AITA?
'AITA for telling my extended family how many men (roughly) my sister has slept with after she outed our youngest brother as a virgin?'
We had a family dinner this evening. My family has four kids in total: me, my elder sister (29F), younger sister (24F) and youngest brother (22M).
Our whole extended family attended our family dinner. So, all of our significant others, our cousins, aunts and uncles etc. During the dinner my elder sister and youngest brother got into a mild disagreement.
My sister seemed (at least to me) to be coming across as very aggressive out of frustration at losing said argument. The two of them were too absorbed in their argument to realise the rest of us were getting a bit fed up.
Eventually my sister got really fed up and said “Shut up, I’m not going to argue with a 22 year old virgin.” My brother hadn’t done any personal attacks up until that point, it was completely unprovoked. I think my sister may have had a bit too much to drink and that can make her very mean.
Anyway, I immediately told my sister to grow up and that she was making an embarrassment of herself. She replied by saying everyone knows he’s a virgin and she didn’t say anything wrong.
This annoyed me as my bro definitely has confidence issues and doesn’t need to be made fun of like this.
So I responded by pointing out that she slept with well over a hundred men while she was in college, and that, since everyone in the family knows this, it’s not a big deal right?
Turns out her husband didn’t know this amazingly, I genuinely assumed he must have known. He left the party angrily saying my sister mislead him about her past.
My family is blaming me for their marital problems. I refuse to accept I did anything wrong. My sister bullied my brother in front of everyone, all I did was give her a taste of her own medicine.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
ESH One person making personal attacks doesn’t mean someone else should- especially since you weren’t even in the argument to begin with.
Yeah ESH seems right, not cool of her to be going after his brother like that, but there were much better ways of defusing the argument than stooping to her level of personal attack, regardless of the aftermath.
NTA. I disagree. Fire with fire is justified if the other person is making a claim a certain asshole behaviour is not assholeish. If they claim that and then whine when it comes back to them, it just makes them a blatantly hypocritical a**hole.
Everyone in this sub likes to spout two wrongs don't make a right, but you are missing the fact that the sister thinks this is supposedly acceptable. So he's just returning to her what she thinks is an acceptable conversation topic...I honestly fail to see how that makes him the a**hole.
NTA. You were looking out for your little brother and you fought with the truth. If your sister can't take the truth, she shouldn't dish it out. She also shouldn't have kept it from her husband.
NTA.
She started the personal attacks on body count so she can’t be mad when someone points out hers.
She lied to her husband about her past and that’s her fault. If anything she’s the a**hole for that.
If their marriage is truly in trouble for you speaking the truth it’s probably not the best match.