'AITA for not babysitting my sister kids after she told me I can’t be in their lives?'
"AITA for not babysitting my sister kids after she told me I can’t be in their lives?"
My sister Alice (32F) is married to her husband Danny (34M), they have 3 kids. Boy, girl and a newborn baby girl. My sister and I had always had a good sisterhood until she married her husband.
No one in my family really likes her husband except my mom, because he always disrespects my sister and manipulates her. When they had their 2nd child he left her for 9 months. When he came back she forgave him because he gave a bul#$%*t apology and he told her his mental health was getting to him.
Every time I would tell her he’s not good for her, she would go to our mom and tell her what I said. My mother should be the last person defending this man, he has called her names and disrespected her on many occasions. So, on her part she wasn’t making sense.
I’m younger than her and she’s a brat. My mother yelled at me and told me their relationship is none of my business. This was a tactic my mother liked to use. She would always stand up for my sister when she was doing wrong, then blame me.
After that, she told me she doesn’t want me around her kids or husband because she thinks I am jealous that she found someone and I didn’t. I don’t know why she would think I was jealous of her and her husband. I was just trying to help her. I love me nieces and nephew so it hurt me when she said that. She even blocked me on everything like Facebook and Instagram.
My sister called our mother and told her she will be coming and might stay for a while. My mother and we’re confused because she never came around the house because she lived 2 miles away from us.
My sister came to the house with only her and the kids; her husband was no where to be found. She told us Danny left because he had another mental breakdown. I wanted to know why she believed his mess. Yes, anybody can have mental breakdowns, but every time he does this it means he’s leaving for a long time.
She said she needed to stay with us because she needs help and a break, I didn’t pay her any mind when she got here because I remembered everything that she had said to me.
Then she pops the question I didn’t want to hear. She asked me if I could babysit her kids so she can go out with friends and clear her mind. I was flabbergasted because she told me she didn’t want me in her kids life but wants to leave me with her kids.
I shut it down and told her hell no, she yelled at me saying that’s not what aunts are supposed to do, their supposed to watch their nieces and nephew. I couldn’t believe she tried to put it on me.
My mother wasn’t even on my side. She said I need to help my sister because she is going through it. If you’re going through something why would you be going to a club? I let my mom know that my sister's kids are not my responsibility but hers because I’m not the parent.
My sister started crying, my mother was giving me dirty looks but I ignored it. I don’t get how you have kids and think someone is responsible for them as well. After their whole mess of crying I left and went to my room because I had an exam the next day and their problems would mess me up. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Trailsya
NTA. But make sure you won't be living with your mom asap.
Unusual-Sign2734 OP:
I’m trying to move out, I’m only 19 and still in college so I want to save up to get an apartment because I’m living in hell.
Corfiz74
Have you pointed out to her that she told you that you were not allowed around her kids, and you are only following her wishes? Also, why can't your mom babysit?
Unusual-Sign2734 OP:
I didn’t get a word in because they both were yelling at me and I was use to that from both of them.
Vegetable-Cod-2340
NTA. It’s really clear OP is not the golden child, so her moving out of this mess is a huge priority. Also are we all on that same page that Danny is shacked up somewhere with someone else?
wlfwrtr
NTA Sister can't pull kids in and out of your life as it suits her. It's not fair to you or the kids. Mother said stay out of their relationship, as far as I'm aware kids are a result of that relationship. Mother and sister have each other, take care of yourself and stay out of their drama.
Consistent-Ad3191
Let the mother watch the children and don't get involved. How dare they think they can just walk all over you play the blame game.
3 days later OP came back with this update:
I wanted to make an update for all the people that helped me and shared their opinions, I did look at student housing. I'm waiting for a call back from the agent, I'm staying at my Best friend house. I grateful that she's letting me stay but I don't want to feel like a burden to her so that's why I took you guy's advice on the housing.
My mother and sister still refuse to apologize to me, my sister still haven't left. The other day I went back to the house to get some clothes, half of my clothes were covered in bleach or burnt. I don't know why they would do this, I just want to know what I did to them for them to treat me like this.
I knew the situation would get worse so I called my best friend to pick me up, my sister was yelling at me and so was my mother. My sister was so mad she told me she was happy when her husband raped, I wanted to cry at that moment but I didn't want her to see she got to me,
When my friend and I got back to her house I just had to cry because I don't know why I'm going through all this when I'm only 19, I don't think I would ever have a good relationship with my sister or mother again. But I have a lot of trauma and some of you consider therapy so I'm going to try and find one around me and let you guys know. I will update you guys again if I get in touch with the agent for student housing.