I call my stepdaughter's entitled boyfriend 'Wreck It Ralph' (no relation to the trademark cartoon just coincidental naming). He has a tendency to break/ ruin/ tear up everything he touches.
My stepdaughter, who is actually a sweet and endearing young woman whom I love dearly, has, like many young women with self esteem issues, allowed herself to be led astray by 'Wreck It Ralph' men.
In the year they've been together, she's lost everything, but at 23 she is old enough to learn her lessons without us parents coming to her rescue until she gets rid of him and gets back on track.
When they first got together, they lived with her dad and myself for a few months. It very quickly became apparent WIR had a chip on his shoulder when it came to me:
He would carry tales to my husband causing us to argue, despite my husband telling 'Wreck It Ralph' many, many times that it was my house and everything in it was mine.
He would keep asking my husband, not me, if he could have this or that. And that is IF he asked.
He kept getting more and more animals despite us telling him no more...neither were taking care of the ones they had. They weren't buying dog or cat food or cat litter. My husband and I were.
They weren't picking up the messes and they weren't training them allowing them to tear up our belongings.
Mary Jane is legal in our state, and there is a dispensary in our town, and the only work these two would do is door delivery - her job with a daily pay out - just to get enough money for WIR to make a purchase at the dispensary every day along with eating at fast food restaurant.
He had a chip on his shoulder when it came to me. So much so that they brought my husband a soda one night, walking in the back door right past me calling out loudly "we got you a (your favorite soft drink)" to my husband in the living room with zero inclusion to me.
Another example is my stepdaughter asking if she could use my debit card to go get the four of us drinks at a local convenience store one hot day my husband and I were unloading stuff from the truck and trailer in the backyard, which was no problem. However when checking my account they spent $20 on food for WIR without asking.
The end came when I told them they had to replace the bedroom door their dog chewed the bottom out of, and refused to allow the pit bull mix they wanted to "rescue," even though it had a bite history, to enter my home. They moved to my stepdaughter's mother's home at that point.
During their time there my stepdaughter kept getting tickets on her car which is only registered to my husband. They weren't paying their insurance - which I had bought my stepdaughter her own policy for and had paid the start up out of my money when they lived with us - and they didn't pay the plate renewal.
Now her license is suspended, and it cost my husband and I $600 to get the plates - again in his name only - unsuspended. Plus they had damaged the car and it needed repairs. So he took it from them.
Before her license was suspended but after the police took the plates from her car my husband let her use his truck which was on my insurance policy - WIR drove it, and he has no license, and blew the motor in it. It is now sitting and can't be used.
I told my husband I would put the car on my insurance for him but only if he drove it, if he returned it to them I was canceling the insurance which I've stood by. Nevertheless, WIR called daily demanding my husband return the car to them once it was legal and fixed.
After three weeks my husband finally said "look you dumba$$ I don't know what it is that you think you're trying to accomplish here but you're not demanding anything from me and you're not getting the car back. I may have originally bought it for her before she got with you but it IS my car in my name and I'm keeping it in lieu of the truck you ruined. Don't call me again about the car. Got it?"
We had been hearing of ongoing disputes between my husband's ex and WIR. Things got so bad there that WIR told my husband's ex wife to "pack her sh!!!t and get the F out" of her own home! Another time he told her to "shut the F up and remember who she's talking to."
So we all decided it was time to let our daughter hit rock bottom since she wasn't seeing how he had taken her from being a sweet, lovable, well liked and responsible girl in a college nursing program to this person with a criminal history and no prospects at the moment.
My husband's ex wife moved in with her boyfriend, turning the power off at the home she had been renting and told her former landlord, whom she was actually long time friends with, that she wouldnt allow it to affect their friendship if he evicted them for squatting since neither were on her lease to begin with.
When my stepdaughter called wanting to come back, my husband told her she could, but WIR could not. Now they are staying at a homeless shelter in the town where WIR's mom lives, and WIR's mom wont let them live with her either. We hate to see her go through this, but this entitled WIR she won't let go of has really brought her down and she can do so much better.
This guy actually told us once he couldn't work at a factory that he interviewed at "because it was climate controlled and his heart condition won't allow that" - then argued with me and my husband that climate controlled meant controlled by the climate so it was hot in summer and cold in winter.
We haven't seen him hold a job or do anything useful and productive since they've been together, just demand from and use the people who love the girl he's become a cling-on to.
WIR is an absolute piece of s###. I’d go so far as formally trespassing him from your property and going no contact with him. Your daughter will at some stage hopefully see sense but it may take time?
Hopefully and before she has any children with him to boot.
There is a chance she will see it. I was in a similar situation from 17 - 22. Wrong guy nearly ruined my life. Once my parents and family stopped helping, I eventually woke the fVVck up and left. Hope she does the same.
We are hoping this is how our unwillingness to help any further actually helps her in the long run too. Like my husband has already told her she has a home here, he doesn't, and she chose to stay with him. She can choose at any point to come back home without him.
I'm calling my parents right now to thank them for everything.