'AITA for refusing to pay for my baby niece's hearing aids even though I have the money?' UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to pay for my baby niece's hearing aids even though I have the money?"
My wife and I are labeled as selfish for refusing to pay for my three-month-old baby niece's hearing aids. Here's what happened:
My niece was recently diagnosed with Congenital hearing loss and is partially deaf in both ears. The doctors suggested that she be given hearing aids as soon as possible so as not to affect her development.
However, my sister-in-law(Kate) can't afford the $1000-$4000 per pair expense especially without health insurance. So she decided to ask my wife, who hates her, during their grandmother's funeral.
Important backstory: My wife hates her sister with a burning passion, because of how Kate treated her. Ironically, my wife was born partially deaf in her left ear. But instead of Kate being a supporting sister, she bullied her instead.
What makes it more sickening, is how their parents turned a blind eye because Kate was their favourite child. Allowing Kate to shout ugly remarks about deaf people into her sister's ear and more.
They even ignored their youngest daughter's need for a hearing aid, as they didn't want to 'waste' money. It wasn't until my wife's grandmother chipped in and bought a pair. But even then, Kate would constantly steal it and torment her sister.
The last straw was when she intentionally broke it and her parents refused to replace it. Once again, refusing to 'waste' money on their youngest child's needs. My wife eventually moved in with her grandmother and went no contact. (she thankfully got a new hearing aid)
Skipping to the funeral, Kate sat down uninvited to speak to us. She wanted to ask an important favour in the name of 'family'. We already knew about her daughter's condition so she plainly just asked to cover the medical expenses. Mentioning how we could easily afford it.
I guess she was expecting a yes because she was shocked when my wife said no and to f*%$ off.
When Katie asked why, my wife just went ballistic. Calling her out on her audacity to attend a funeral to ask for money. Wanting the person you bullied for being deaf to buy hearing aids for your deaf daughter.
After she let it all out, Katie was speechless. She didn't even try to act apologetic and just started shouting. Calling my wife psycho for holding so much resentment towards her till today. Calling her selfish, for refusing to help her niece over a childish grudge.
Even gaslighting her for the next 5 minutes straight to make her believe she's immoral. She eventually left screaming after calling us disgusting for having so much money and not helping 'family'. I don't understand why I should spend my hard-earned money on someone else's child. So am I wrong or not?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
I don't think y'all are wrong, it isn't your responsibility to pay the medical bills of estranged family members. I see all the people saying the child is innocent, but it still isn't your responsibility. She can start a Gofundme and if she hasn't treated everyone else she knows like crap then maybe she will get her kid the equipment they need.
Piggy-backing hoping OP sees it to send to SIL with a nice Eff You, but also help your child.
My childhood best friend lived below the poverty line most of her life and required hearing aides. They were able to get them with grants and funding from non-profits. They aren’t the super cool spiffy ones she has now that Bluetooth into her tv and stuff, but she was able to function.
https://www.hearingloss.org/hearing-help/financial-assistance/
I'm shocked by how many people are saying you should just buy them. That would be opening the door for this entitled bully to continually ask for money or other shit because 'you helped her once.' It sucks for the kid, but its not your responsibility. At all. Maybe if she had done some self reflection after your wife laid things out, but certainly not after that reaction. NOT WRONG.
Yeah maybe if the sister actually apologized at that point instead of the reaction she did give.
NTA! The f*^%$#g nerve of her to do that. Your SIL sounds like a real winner raises by true winners! I get that yes it is a child, tell her to get a f*^%$#g only fans or a go fund me, or maybe she could get a part time job and save up money FOR HER OWN DAMN CHILD!
OP later updated the post with this:
Wife: I asked my sister over 15 years ago "Please, never speak to me again or my future family" but instead she chose to harass me while in mourning. I have a right to my peaceful life with my own children and I won't be paying for any hearing aids. I said no contact so it means no contact my sister will finally needs stop being lazy and support her daughter.