'AITA for throwing my cousin and her family out of my home?'
"AITA for throwing my cousin and her family out of my home?"
I'm a 42 year old woman, married to a beautiful man. Every year I cook a lavish dinner for my husband's birthday and this year was no different. We usually invite all our friends and extended family.
For the past few years, I've stopped inviting my girl cousin to our home. There are several reasons for this:
1. I'm her husband's boss' boss, which makes her jealous for some reason.
2. She constantly makes these cringe worthy remarks about how well my husband and I live.
3. Her kids. She has four - 2 girls and 2 boys. I cannot stand them. They're loud, obnoxious and have clearly never been disciplined.
Because of the position of power I have over her husband, my cousin (Let's call her M) doesn't dare to complain much. We were never really close while growing up, so I don't miss talking to her.
Now, M's mother was my mom's little sister, and the two are very close. M was able to manipulate my mother into bringing her, her husband and 4 kids to my husband's birthday celebration. I was livid when I saw them.
M acted like nothing was wrong, while her husband couldn't meet my gaze. My mother begged me to include them in the celebration because "they're family". I took M's husband aside and told him that if his brats don't behave themselves, there will be consequences.
My husband cut the cake, we were having a good time when I heard a little girl's scream. It was our friend's daughter. M's 2 boys were pushing her under water in our indoor pool. M just laughed as if it was so funny!
Both the child's mother and I ran over and pulled M's two monsters off of her. M screamed at me not to touch her children. I told her husband that if he wishes to continue his career, he better get his wife and brats out of my house. He looked terrified and hurriedly got them out of there.
Since then, my mom and a few other relatives have been blowing up my phone with texts, telling me I was too harsh. And that shouldn't have threatened M's husband or thrown them out like that. What's your opinion? AITA?
Edit : Let me clarify that I wouldn't have used my position at work to intimidate M's husband if I felt they would listen to reason. I've dealt with these people before and the only time they cease their bullying is when they know that real consequences would follow. If they were good people, I wouldn't have threatened to ruin his career.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
sworn2carrymyburdens
NTA, What the actual f%$#, they tried to drown a girl and they're acting like you're overreacting? I'm so confused. How did they react to this during the moment? What are they replying now when you're bringing up the drowning attempt?
JanThrow OP:
"But they're just kids"
Successful_Bath1200
NTA. They were not invited and your Mother brought them anyway. You have a Mother problem! You had every right to throw them out, in fact I don't know why you didn't send them packing right at the start including your Mum.
You area bit of an AH as well! You should not have threatened his job like that. This was a social event not work. He has witnesses to what you said! Should he take you to court for something in the future he could well use that against you!
fischy333
ESH. Firstly, the way you talk about yourself and your husband vs the way you talk about everyone else proves that you are incredibly conceited and that you think your way is the only “right way.” You clearly like to let people know that you are better than them and I’m sure you just have a general air of superiority to you.
Additionally, you are INCREDIBLY abusive with your power. The way you talk to M’s husband is insane and I would be encouraging him to sue you for abusing your power. He is obviously scared of you and I already thought you were an AH when you gave a veiled threat about “consequences” which could mean you were threatening his job.
notforcommentinohgoo
NTA for kicking them out.
But massively YTA for abusing your position of power to bully him in your private life.
BeckyDaTechie
ESH. Mixing work and family was a bad move, but I get that you were angry so that may have been a slip up. Still, A-hole move. Threaten his job over what he does at work if you have to; at home you should stick to making expectations clear regarding behavior.
He has a cooked noodle for a spine when it comes to his wife and kids apparently, which is a shame, but he wouldn't look like an AH now if he'd bothered to hash out parenting with his wife 2-3 kids ago.
YTA for threatening her husband’s job. Yeah, their kids sound like absolute terrors and your cousin has serious boundary issues. I don’t blame you for getting angry at them, but threatening her husband was out of line.
Also, I don’t understand why there was no adult supervising the swimming pool, and if no one was doing a good job of supervision, it’s hard to believe the two boys were deliberately trying to drown a younger kid versus water play that turned dangerous. I mean, there are bad kids and there are psychopaths. If what you claim is true, those boys are literally psychopaths. It’s just a bit hard to believe.