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'AITA for storming out of a family gathering after someone revealed my pregnancy?' UPDATED

'AITA for storming out of a family gathering after someone revealed my pregnancy?' UPDATED


"AITA for being mad that someone revealed my pregnancy at a family gathering?"

Here's the original post:

My bf Lukas 33M and I F32 learned that I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. I am curently a little bit more that 1.5 month pregnant. We were not trying and it was an accident so we are a little lost. We are at a point in life where we considered the possibility of kids but we never decided anything. Right now the only people who know are some of our closest friends.

I am not going to lie it has been some intense and stressfull couple of weeks. Yesterday evening we had a family gathering. It is my uncle birthday this week end so he and his wife rented a big house. We all went yesterday night and we were supposed to stay until tomorrow. It was also the opportunity to have all the family and close friends reunited together.

Yesterday night we all had dinner together. It was a buffet, so everyone was standing and talking. The real meal was supposed to be today at noon. Lukas and I though it would be a way to take our mind off things. Keep in mind that at this point NOBODY at this event knew. So yesterday we were all catching up when my cousin came to introduce his new GF Ana to us.

I see my cousin often so we only talked a little. After a while however Ana came back to us and did not leave me alone. She kept talking to me, cutting other people off and trying to make me drink to have fun. I told her that I was not a drinker (which is true, especially at family gathering) and I tried to make her understand that I wanted to talk to other people.

At one point Lukas got fed up and went outside. She again tried to give me a drink and this time when i told her no she asked in a teasing manner if I was pregnant. I froze up and before I could say something to her she started telling me that she was happy for me.

I told her that nobody know and her answer was « OMG this is such a good opportunity to tell your family » and then she made a toast and told everyone. Everything happened so quickly that I couldn’t stop her. Everyone came to congratulate me and I started getting overwhelmed and cried.

My cousin went to get Lukas who came for me and we left to go to our rooms. A lot of people tried to follow us but he explained that we needed some time. Later he went out and told people that we didn’t want everyone to know yet. They left us alone for the night.

This morning we went for breakfast and a lot of family member called me dramatic for leaving the night before. I tried to explain that Ana had no right to tell people and that we didn’t want people to know. They got mad at us saying that at one point or another they would have know, that I should not have kept it a secret and that I should be thankfull for Ana so that we could all celebrate. We lost it and went home.

My family kept calling and texting us. They said that we overreacted that we spoiled the good news and ruined the WE for everyone.

Do you think she overreacted? This is what top commenters had to say:

CuckooPint said:

NTA. As a non drinker, I can say right now that Ana was ALREADY the ahole for not respecting the fact that you don't drink and just leaving it at that. People like that are so annoying. This is entirely her fault. She should have respected your boundaries from the beginning, but she didn't. You deserve an apology from her.

NextTimeOnJudgeDredd said:

NTA. Who the hell makes a toast and outs someone’s pregnancy? You have every right to be upset

whatsmypassword73 said:

NTA, in what world does Ana live? Completely crossed so many boundaries. People like her depend on other people not wanting to confront her insane rudeness and your family going that hard after you? If you decide you don’t want to be pregnant anymore make sure to tell your family it was the stress of that evening that caused a miscarriage. They all suck. How dare she?

savkail said:

NTA not only is Ana TA but also your family members! It’s so difficult when someone is way out of line like that and then people add insult to injury by saying BS like “you should be grateful they did that!” No it was out of line and none of her business!

And MindDeep2823 said:

Holy sh!t, this sounds like a nightmare. You and Lukas are NTA, but literally everyone else in this story sucks. Ana obviously sucks for pressuring you to drink and for sharing this news without your explicit consent.

But the rest of your family sucks too!! You weren't being "dramatic" and you didn't "ruin" anything. Even if this pregnancy were 100% planned and wanted right now, it's STILL your choice how/when you want the news shared.

Verdict: a resounding NTA!

OP later shared this update on the situation:

First of all we want to thank all of you. We didn’t answer to the comments but we read all of them and it felt really great to have that much people supporting and encouraging us. It really made us feel better when we were in a bad place. Now for the original issue : Everything with our family was a huge mess and a big misunderstanding.

To explain we need a little big of context : a few years ago someone in our family made a pregnancy april fools joke. It went badly especially for the close family members.

The family dinner happened Friday 1st of april. Apparently in my family everyone thought that our pregnancy annoucement was a really elaborate april fools prank made by me, my bf, my cousin and Ana. When me and my bf left to go to our room they thought we were being dramatic to better sell the joke.

They were quite angry at us for doing this kind of prank at such an important event so they decided to try to teach us a lesson by being as obnoxious as possible regarding us and the « pregnancy ». They thought that everything we were saying was us being dramatic for the prank.

It is when we really left Saturday morning that they realised something was wrong. They asked my cousin and Ana what was happening and told them that the prank was going too far. I guess it’s when they realised that everything was real. They tried to call us all day but we had shut everything off.

My father (who is no longer with my mom so he wasn’t at the week end) came to our house to explain everything and give us an email that my family wrote. Long story short they yelled at Ana and kicked her out. My cousin also immediatly broke up with her.

In the email they explained that they were horrified by everything that happened and that they were really sorry. They told us that we should take all the time we needed away from them and that they hoped we could forgive them. They also all said that they were here to support and help us no matter what we decided to do with the pregnancy.

Since then we talked to a few of them and we saw my mom and my cousin. We still need time but reading this mail and talking to some of them really helped. We could see that they are sincere, not pressuring us in any way and ready to be here for us not matter what.

It is not an ideal situation for Lukas and me but it honestly made us feel closer ? I don’t know how to explain but it made us realize that we could really count and support on each other in a tough situation. As of right now we are leaning on going forward with the pregnancy so we really thank you for all your well wishes towards it.

Best of luck, OP and Mr. OP! And to Ana: BYEEEEEE!

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