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'AITA for calling out my stepmom's 'second wife syndrome' after she ruined my dance studio?'

'AITA for calling out my stepmom's 'second wife syndrome' after she ruined my dance studio?'

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"AITA for calling my stepmom out on her second wife syndrome after she ruined my dance studio?"

She writes:

My parents have been divorced for 10 or so years, I am now 19 (F) my brother(16) and I have known our dads wife for 8 years now. We have grown up with her and I have a lot of fond memories of us doing stuff together because they couldn’t have kids.

My dad is 56, step mom is 38, and having a younger step mom was always fun for me. 3 years ago, they had their first child. It was a miracle since doctors told her she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. She ended up getting pregnant again a year and a half ago and had another kid. They now have 2 boys who are 3 and like 6 months.

Of course, after the boys were born, things started changing with step mom. She may have not meant it on purpose but my brother and I both agreed how obvious her disinterest In us had become.

She even asked my dad if we could have 2 versions of our Christmas cards, one of them having my brother and I in it and another with just my dad, step mom and 2 step brothers to go to step moms friends who don’t really know us.

The issue at hand has been going on for about a month, step mom has been slowly turning my dance studio in my dad's house into a play room. Every weekend I’m there it’s like there are more and more toys in it. I still dance competitively, and though I live at college most of the time, when I’m home I live with my dad and need it for practice.

I called stepmom out on this in our family group text for moving some of my brothers things to a box in the basement, because “with the boys we need more room”. I don’t think this is true, I think she just wants to get rid of the reminders of my brother and I. I told her that we know she’s condensing all of our space in the house. She tried to play it off all nice.

I then said I’m sorry for being in the way of her cute little nuclear family, and that she shouldn’t have married a man with kids if we were gonna have these issues. My dad texted me individually and said I must apologize, I told him that we should have just as many rights in our dads house as his new kids do. He said nobody is taking our rights blah blah But aita for saying what I did to step mom?

EDIT: I just wanna say there’s been multiple instances since the birth of the boys where it’s seemed to almost upset stepmom when dad spends time with brother and I or does an activity with us exclusively

Who do you think is the real AH in this situation? People were divided in the comments.

This is what top commenters had to say:

HRVAPokeHunter said:

YTA. I’m sure there are serious dancers who don’t have their own dance studio at home and still manage to practice. She lives there full time. You live there part time. Maybe she’s the asshole for some other stuff but in this situation it’s you. Also they aren’t your step brothers they’re your half brothers.

kill4kandy said:

I want to say E S H, but by god any woman who wants 2 separate Christmas cards so one doesn't include the step children really pisses me off and clearly makes her the AH. This reminds me of that woman on Facebook who wanted her stepson photoshopped out of the family photos.

Why do women act like this and why do men marry these women? And vice versa. But yeah, you're in college now. You don't need your own personal dance studio anymore and it rightly should be turned into a playroom for the boys.

orangepeel911 said:

YTA. Let me get this straight, you don't live at home anymore, and you want them to give up an entire room in the house dedicated for your practicing dance for the minimal time you are there? Even though your little brothers live there full time and need a place to play?

I get you're upset by the situation but you're an adult, you know renovating a dance room you used as a teenager to better fit the needs of their life in the home now has nothing to do with her trying to "get rid of reminders" of you and your brother.

harleyquinzilla said:

YTA. There is a lot of exaggeration and inaccuracies in your version of events. She did not 'ruin' your studio, she put out some toys. They are not your step brothers, they are your half brothers. They are your siblings! Of course she focuses more on them. Babies and toddlers take a ton of energy. You are an adult who has moved out.

StereoOnCookingBacon said:

My little sister took over my room when I went to college. When I came home I shoved her crap over. This is normal “go to college, lose your space” stuff, happens with or without a stepmom. YTA.

stunning-stasis said:

ESH. It's weird of her to take two sets of xmas photos. You say you mostly live at college, so there is no point in them not putting an empty room to use.

Verdict: ESH, probably? What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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