I kinda already think I’m not, but my family is convincing me I am. I (28F) when on a vacation with my daughter (5F) and my husband (29M) as a last vacation before we’re a family of 4. I’m 7 months pregnant and we wanted to spend time with our daughter before her brother was born. when I was around 13, me my mom my dad and my little brother when on a Disneyland vacation.
it was fun and all until my dad left his phone in the hotel and they wouldn’t give us it back. he had to get a new one and my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back. I thought this was irrational since it was my moms favorite place. we went ATLEAST once a year growing up. after that whole ordeal my mom hated it.
so when me and my husband wanted to go on a before baby arrives vacation, we decide to go to Disneyland for around 3 days. my daughter loves the princesses and the idea of magic so when we told her she was over-joyed. I told my mom when we were at lunch together that we were going in a trip, when I told her it was Disneyland she was enraged.
I was extremely confused because I thought she forgot about it honestly. she called me a backstabber and just really rude words. she stormed out of the restaurant and I payed and left a few minutes later. a few hours later my dad called me and screamed at me that,
“this family doesn’t go to Disney, if u weren’t such a spoiled little (b word) u would understand that” i was shocked. it was MY money I was spending and I thought everyone was over it, my mom texted me a long paragraph about how she would go no contact and wouldn’t be my mother anymore if I still went.
the trip was fully payed for so I responded “okay I guess u only have a son now.” And blocked her. I’ve gotten atleast 60 calls from family and a few texts telling me I’m wrong. we still went and got back yesterday. we all had a blast and my daughter rode her first big girl coaster. she loved every minute of it so in my opinion it was all worth it. So, AITA??
EDIT 1: woah, posted this around 2 hours ago and have gotten a lot of comments. first off, thank u for all the NTA’s. I was kinda scared that I was gonna get attacked. I think once I get home I’m gonna unblock my mom and ask if we can meet up. we haven’t spoken since all this happened. hoping we can meet up for lunch and we can talk.
Also, I’ve been seeing a lot of comments where people think something way bigger happened. I can’t remember anything else happening tho, I’m gonna ask if and when we talk tho. I’ll keep u all posted. btw I’m in cali and I don’t get off work until 5 PM-5:30ish so once I get off and get home I will talk to my mom. I’ve seen a lot of people wanting a update so I’ll try and get one to you all soon.
EDIT 2: holy s^%$ lol I truly didn’t expect this to go viral. I’m getting ready for work and just wow! so last night I unblocked my mom, messaged her and basically said “I wanna talk, I know that our last fight was really messy but I wanna meet up for lunch and talk.” and she responded! she said yes and we’re meeting up today.
My dad is also coming because I want a apology from him for what he called me. I truly cant even process the phone call that happened. I want to get answers as fast as possible because I’ve seen so many comments saying this wasn’t over a phone. I have really bad memory and this was 15 years ago, but I remember most of it because that whole situation was VERY messy.
I will definitely be updating u guys after the lunch. I’ve also seen people saying my parents might not like Disney because they are more liberal, I don’t think that’s the reason tho. 15 years ago tho was very different as well. I’ll ask that when we meet up but I don’t see it as a real reason.
I’ve also seen people saying it’s very unreasonable to go no-contact/very limited contact because of this, which I agree with. i think she was just saying that to scare me, which is still very gross.
but we still went and she messaged me back so I guess we will just see, my husband also might come with me because I don’t know how my parents will react when I ask them my questions. they know we still went so I’m not to scared but I can’t be sure. I’ll update with how the lunch goes soon!!
Complete-Turnip-9150 said:
NTA. You're well within your rights to take your daughter on holiday to a location you choose with your money. I feel like something else happened at Disney that you're not aware of to make your parents hate it so much. It seems totally irrational for her to act the way she is. Especially jumping to no contact over this.
[deleted] said:
NTA, deffo sounds like there’s something more going on other than losing a phone
Mtorolite said:
NTA. WTF. Your dad lost his phone 15 years ago at Disney and now your folks think their going to have a generational feud with the House of Mouse? This is bonkers. Have a good time at Disney.
Batmans-dragon80 said:
Nta. Sweetie I think your dad's lost phone is a cover to a story you don't know about. Your parents can boycott Disney but the irrational response from your folks tells me this isn't about Disney but something much darker.
DuchessNTT said:
NTA. Your mum and dad need to get over their bad experience (and it genuinely does sound bad!) of 15 years ago. Sure, they can choose to boycott Disney for life, if that makes them feel better, but they've got no right to impose their feelings onto you like this, especially to the extent that they're being abusive to you about it.
For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by ignoring their childish behaviour and going. I suspect they'll get over it in time, but there's no way you should ever apologise, because you've done nothing wrong.
And TheDreadPirateJeff said:
NTA - that's such a weird thing to hold a lifelong grudge over. Something tells me there's more to this story than you may know. Either that or you have two VERY irrational parents. Either way, it's not your concern. Your concern is having a fantastic time with your husband and daughter.
we’ll here it is fella’s, ur update. around 1PM yesterday we went to lunch, my husband didn’t come because he had a important meeting at his work. I wasn’t that scared anyway because we were going to a pretty popular restaurant it wasn’t like I would be alone with them. we got there and sat down, I started talking to my mom and dad and started asking my questions.
it was mostly just “why would u get so mad?” And “it’s my money and I wanted to make my daughter have a fun vacation with her parents before she has a brother?” And I was met with them gaslighting me and thinking because they don’t love Disney I can’t go. I was in the verge of tears, and leaving. so I asked my final question that I really wanted a answer on.
“This can’t be over a phone, there has to be something going on to make u blow up like this.” they then told me what really happened. so my dad did actually leave his phone. when house keeping went to clean the room for the next family to arrive, the woman who was cleaning took the phone and took it to lost and found.
she saw my moms contact on my dads little smart phone and called her and we went to pick it back up, but the woman also saw another contact that said “baby”. my dad was cheating for a good year to a year and a half, she told my mom and my mom blamed that woman for “ruining her marriage” by telling her. that’s why they hated Disney, cause it ruined they’re marriage.
I walked out after that, I didn’t pay either. i don’t think I’m gonna talk to them after this, only if my daughter and son want to. they betrayed my trust and never apologized either for what they called me a few days ago. I don’t know why we never got the phone back, probably will never know. but here is the official ending of this crazy @$$ story.