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'AITA for threatening to evict my estranged dad and his family from their home?' UPDATED

'AITA for threatening to evict my estranged dad and his family from their home?' UPDATED


"AITA for threatening to evict my estranged dad and his family from the house they currently live in?"

Here's the original post:

Some background:

My parents divorced when I was 10 because dad quit his job and refused to work so he can gamble and drink all day.

Our country has crappy laws about child support so mom had to support my sister and me on her own. Growing up I tried reconnecting with my dad but it felt like all effort to reconcile was from me. So I eventually gave up and minimized contact. I kept in touch with dad’s side of the family - his siblings and my cousins. I have a good relationship with them.

Fast forward to now my sister and I are living comfortable lives. Our parents remarried. My mom married a nice man and they live overseas.

Five years ago, dad married a girl who’s the same age as my younger sister. She was horrible. Whenever my sister would reach out to our dad, she'd get pissed and accuse my sister of trying to "steal" him. They have a son and I’ve been nice to him. But because our dad’s wife continued her rotten streak, my sister and I decided to cut ties with them.

Dad’s mom died last year. A few months ago my aunt (dad’s older sister, who’s in-charge of their parents’ assets) called to tell us about our grandmother’s will. Our grandfather is also dead btw.

All our grandparents’ assets have been divided among grandkids and I got my grandparents’ house - the house where my father and his family live. Since I live miles away from the said house and have no plans of moving there, my aunt suggested I sell it and keep the money for myself.

My aunt was pretty insistent that I sell the house because she said it’s what my grandmother would want. My dad neglected her during the last years of her life and put her in a home. He also apparently sold her burial lot to buy drugs. So I agreed to sell the house since it's my inheritance after all.

I haven’t sold the house yet but I called my dad to tell him about it so they can start looking for a house. I wanted to give him a heads up and told him they can stay as long as I don't have a buyer yet. My dad was obviously not pleased but he didn't argue. Meanwhile, his wife got angry and called to scream at me, saying I was being selfish and that I didn’t need the house.

She let slip that her parents and siblings also live there, so basically freeloading off it. She tried to make me feel guilty because now they have to rent. I ignored her. Then she went on harassing me via text and called me names. At this point, I got pissed so I told her that if she doesn’t stop harassing me, I will have them evicted ASAP even if no one is buying the house yet.

My dad found out and he told me I was an AH to his wife. His siblings found out and they had my back. They said that his wife was never nice to them. And apparently, she’s the one who persuaded my dad to remove my grandmother from her own house and put her in an elderly home so her own family can move in. AITA?

What do you think? Was this an a-hole move?

This is what top commenters had to say:

Lurker_279 said:

NTA. First of all, best to get a lawyer and let any and all future contact go through them. Second, don't let them guilt trip or persuade you! There IS the other option that maybe you keep the house and rent it out to them but I doubt they'll pay you rent, and it will probably be a lot of work and trouble. Not to mention the condition the house might be in should they leave in a few years.

So while that would be an option, I would stick to your original plan of selling it! The whole rest of his family backs you up, so you don't need to be afraid of backlash from them for selling their parents' home. The only one who will cause you trouble will be your dad and his wife - but it sounds like that will be an issue either way, so best not to keep them around.

Wish you all the luck and a long breath. This will be a battle but it sounds like you have the support on your side. Keep us updated?

lunagra80 said:

NTA. Also you should kick them out before trying to find a buyer, so you can clean it up and they can't jeopardize any potential buyer.

teresajs said:

NTA. First, make sure the house title is in your name. Then, hire an Attorney to help you evict these people from the house.

Infamous-Ad8962 said:

NTA I would evict them asap and make sure they don't damage the home too much. Also check the eviction laws in your country.

No-Expert5800 said:

NTA. How has your stepmom/dad’s wife even got you questioning whether you’re the AH? This woman sounds as if she has some sort of phenomenal cosmic brainwashing powers. NTA

Verdict: a very unanimous NTA

A week after the original post, OP shared this update:

The past week was exhausting, both physically and mentally, but here is an update. Following most of the advice here, I decided to have them evicted as soon as I could. A couple of days after my post, I flew to my parents’ hometown, where the house was. I decided to stay for a week. I asked my best friend for moral support, so he flew in the next day.

My aunt was able to get me in touch with her lawyer there who gave me the papers I needed to establish ownership of the house. She also got me in touch with the local police. My aunt is out of the country so she couldn’t be there.

In my country, there are laws protecting squatters and they can actually dispute being evicted. So I spoke to the cops and asked for help in case things get ugly. It’s a small town where people know everybody. They know how much of an AH my dad was and my grandma was highly respected in our town because she used to be an educator. It didn’t take a lot of convincing for them to agree to help.

I contacted the old caretaker of the house, whom my dad fired. I asked her to accompany me. I also did some digging for information. Apparently, the wife and her family have a house but mine was way bigger and nicer.

Two days after I flew in, I went to the house with my best friend, the caretaker, and a couple of cops to give my dad and the freeloaders a 3-day notice. As expected, dad's wife made a scene and became hysterical because they’d be “homeless”. Called me heartless, ungrateful, cruel, etc.

My dad was passive. He acted the same when my mom kicked him out - didn’t argue but also never admitted his faults. He said he wouldn’t wait for 3 days and would leave the next day. He told me that I was an ungrateful daughter and that I would get my karma.

A lot of people here advised me to make sure they wouldn’t steal stuff but I honestly don’t care about the stuff. I told them they can take what they need, except for a few pieces of furniture - the hardwood and antique ones that grandma loved. It would make cleaning up easier.

Come eviction day, I didn’t speak to them. I just watched as they hauled their stuff onto a truck. Paid the caretaker to clean the house in the next days and told her she can have whatever she wanted from the house - grandma would've approved. Had the locks changed, installed extra locks, chained the gates, cut contact with my dad and his wife.

Next step: the selling. I’m planning to sell it below market value just to get it over with, and that’s that. I still have a lot to do in terms of selling the house but at least the drama is over. I’m tired but relieved. Thank you to everyone here who gave me advice.

Congrats OP on evicting these grifters!

Sources: Reddit
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